Deactivating facebook

[Allaboutthesocials]

I probably am being unreasonable because it comes with the territory but wanted some other options.

I work in a primary school, several times this school year children have asked me about my Facebook account, and I have told them I don't use it, I have an account, but it's none of their business and they're under 13 and shouldn't be using it technically, but I know different parents have different ideas.

A few months ago, one of the children I work with told me told me they had found me on Facebook and knew who my boyfriend was and some other personal details. Myself and another member of staff had a conversation with the class about boundaries and safeguarding, as well as reporting it to the DSL, I went into my settings and discovered that although everything was locked down, there was a link to my boyfriends profile, the in a relationship with option wasn't private, it is now, and his profile wasn't as private as mine (why should it be, he doesn't work in education and wouldn't/shouldn't expect this to happen) I also changed my name in the hope this would make me more anonymous.

This past week, we have been discussing social media use in PSHE, another student has again told me they've (as in several not just one) been looking at my profile and told me I'd changed my profile picture and its a nice photo of me. Again, myself and another member of staff told the class this is inappropriate and I've again let our DSL know.

What I want to know is, I have now deactivated my Facebook profile because I feel like they are going to continue doing this. Am I over reacting, or is this a reasonable reaction to their behaviour? I know I shouldn't have to remove my social media presence, but equally, I don't want to feel like I can't do anything online without them trying to find out about it.

Thankfully my Twitter and Instagram accounts aren't linked and are both totally private.

You don't need facebook in your life or to live your life.

Mind you, I'm in my 50s and remember a world without facebook, or indeed, the internet.

Change your name so you aren’t searchable. My teacher friends have their initials for example or one has first name initial then her middle name as the last name. Another has her first name but a synonym of her last name.

I know I don't need it, and that's why I'm ok with deactivating it, what I'm asking is my deactivation an over reaction to what has happened or not....

Definitely not an overreaction, OP.

I had changed it @fyn I'd dropped the surname, but I guess because they'd already found me with it, it was maybe already linked to their search and all they needed to do was put me first name in. I know when I've looked for people previously all I need is their first name.

No it isn’t an over reaction.

I think its an over reaction. If your profile is private then they can't see anything apart from a profile pic. And if you don't want them seeing your partners he should just make his private too. Kids will be kids, you aren't going to stop them looking. By holding talks on it its probably encouraging them to look more. But we all have different ideas on what is acceptable and what is not.

It's up to you OP. It's difficult to be completely locked down on FB, because ultimately it is meant to facilitate people, well, being in contact!
I mean, say your profile is completely private, people can just see there is an account Your MadeUpName but no picture, no details, no list of friends visible.
HOWEVER your friends might still have their details and/or friends list and/or pictures visible.
So the enterprising can, perhaps, track down your cousin, or colleague, or friend, or mother, and work out that Mrs MadeUpName is you, and maybe see pictures of them with you, see that they made a public post about say having a barbeque with people including you... And TBH the pictures and posts thing is still true even if you don't have a FB account at all.

Best to sit down and have a think about what you want to keep private and why, because FB a/c or no FB a/c, you'll still have to have conversations with people that say, "I'm a teacher, please don't put any pictures with me on FB".
I am assuming the main driver is a worry about an unhinged pupil or parent using FB info to track you down and harass you, rather than being plastered over FB in your gimp gear ;) - which, given you only need ONE to cause a lot of stress, and there are hundreds of pupils over the years, is not unreasonable.

YANBU.

I would love to deactivate my FB but I have quite a few long running messenger groups that are really valuable to me, and I know that not all members would want to change to WA etc.

If anyone knows a way of ditching FB and keeping messenger I would love to know. I know I don’t have to look at it and rarely do but it’s still there somehow.

Don’t worry OP, I would feel the same as you.

If you live in the same community you work and you actively pist of facebook, then you'll likely be findable regardless of settings.

For example you may post on local gossip pages, sale or free cycle posts etc. Plus if youve got a reasonable number of friends you'll likely have a web of friends links that makes you a friend of a friend to the majority of the community.

Much easier if you work in a school that's in a community with no links yo your uome community. Plus helpful if you don't post much.

I think it's the aspect of being in control of what I share? I'm a fairly open person and where appropriate share part of myself with the children. Most of them, I've worked with since reception, and they're now year 6, so there is 7 years of life there.
I guess my issue is that, I'm ok with telling them things, but I don't like the searching for me and the "miss I know this about you" so in thinking about it, it could be a control issue as I can't control what they discover about me online? Even though it is terribly boring....

It's something I've not had to think about in the 10 years I've worked in schools, I'm not blind to it, I'm sure there will be children I've worked with in previous years and even lower down the school that have looked. I think it's the full on openness, especially from last week of "miss you know we still stalk you on facebook" that was the child's words and it kind of just chilled me?

Although I live in the same city, it's a different part of town to where I live.