I've tried not to judge her, I've tried to be understanding but it's been years now.
Everyone loves my friend, shes s great mum to her 4dc. Her husband isn't the most attentive, she has mentioned in the past her resentment at him for not wanting to be intimate, he doesn't help much with the DC but does work hard outside the home.
They've been together for 15 years, for 13 of those years she's been seeing someone else. Her husband found out a few years ago, confronted her and they stayed together. She stopped seeing the OM for a while but soon resumed. I didn't pry or judge, I felt as her friend I should be supportive.
The part I'm struggling to move past is a few years ago her falling accidentally pregnant to OM and having a secret abortion. I was doing fertility treatment at the time so may have been overly sensitive to the way she flippantly talked about it, almost like it was a joke. She's joked to me in the past that when I get bored in my relationship, I'll start cheating too. She treats the whole thing like it's normal, inviting the OM to her house when her DH is at work. Laughing about sneaking him out the back when DH pulled up on the drive. Recently, I arrived as he was leaving, it was horribly awkward and made me reassess the friendship. I don't want to be part of this anymore.
Her DH is always sharing loving posts on FB about how wonderful his wife is for being the backbone of the family, smiling family photos yet under the surface all of this is going on. It feels fake. She's lying to everyone. The older I get, the more I question her morality. Her children are getting older, they're not daft, they'll start asking questions soon.
Would I be unreasonable to step back from friend despite accepting it for so long? If she can be this devious with her DH how can she be a trustworthy friend?