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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to give my manager a heads up?

56 replies

threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 22:33

I work in a pretty small team with an even smaller management team.

One of my management colleagues (who I'll call X) recently confided in me that she was looking for another job as she's tried unsuccessfully to renegotiate the terms of her employment and was just generally unhappy in the job. X hasn't been in the role that long but I don't think it quite met her expectations so tbh I think moving on is probably the best thing for her. I like her as a person but she hasn't been the easiest to work with lately as I think her frustration at the role is becoming more and more apparent at she's putting less and less effort in.

X has told me that she's been looking for other jobs and has had interviews and trial shifts already so it seems only a matter of time before she gets something else and gives her notice in, I have a feeling this will be quite soon.

Would I be unreasonable to give my manager a heads up about this? I'd feel bad going behind X's back to mention this to my manager when she hasn't got another job yet and might even change her mind about it. It's her news to tell and I don't want to feel like I'm gossiping.

At the same time myself and my other colleagues are absolutely on our knees because we are so short staffed and we are about to head into our busiest time of year so to lose another member of staff would really impact us all in a huge way. I was close to tears at work earlier as I was so stressed and overwhelmed. Any possible chance to get ahead in the recruitment process would be really helpful.

Would you want to know if you were the manager? Also, if my manager finds out that I knew in advance and didn't say anything they might be really annoyed. I don't know what to do?!

OP posts:
ThatFraggle · 09/06/2023 22:56

It's not that they are 'having bad luck' recruiting.

They are not getting anyone because they are not offering competitive salaries, they want to save money with zero hour contracts no one wants, and/or the place has a reputation (maybe online reviews) as a place where you will be overworked and underpaid.

Original poster
threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 22:59

That is an excellent point @BreviloquentBastard I didn't think of it that way before.

I'm really, genuinely not thinking of this as a way to suck up to anyone. I already have a great relationship with my manager it's purely because we are so so busy and there is no help in sight. To lose another staff member would be disastrous and I don't know how we are going to cope if/when it happens.

I'm not pointlessly loyal and would leave myself if conditions got too bad but I am in a good position in that I have an old contract I negotiated before a change of management and before X took the job. Very few other jobs would offer me the same or better.

OP posts:
SummerLover01 · 09/06/2023 22:59

Keep your nose out.

Nobody likes a brown-nosing grass....

Hollyppp · 09/06/2023 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 23:01

ThatFraggle · 09/06/2023 22:56

It's not that they are 'having bad luck' recruiting.

They are not getting anyone because they are not offering competitive salaries, they want to save money with zero hour contracts no one wants, and/or the place has a reputation (maybe online reviews) as a place where you will be overworked and underpaid.

I absolutely agree. It's very obvious what we need to do to recruit new staff but neither I nor my manager have any power to do anything about it. We are bound by what head office allows us to offer.

OP posts:
ArgosKettle · 09/06/2023 23:04

Truest definition of a brown-noser...

Cant believe you even had to ask this 🙄

ThatFraggle · 09/06/2023 23:09

threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 23:01

I absolutely agree. It's very obvious what we need to do to recruit new staff but neither I nor my manager have any power to do anything about it. We are bound by what head office allows us to offer.

Show quote history

You'd be surprised what power your manager has. 'Head office' is a convenient scapegoat.

For example:
Let's say you're a shop. You're expecting £20,000 profit this year. If you employ one more member of staff, at £17,000. manager's profit goes down to £3000. Staff are less stressed, but manager will miss out on a performance bonus.

Or a care home with 10 members of staff, instead of 15 is much cheaper to run, more profits. Manager might get promoted to regional manager, which comes with a company car. So they say 'head office' says we can't get more staff.

Original poster
threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 23:13

I see what you mean but that isn't the case here. It's a chain with multiple outlets and everyone at a certain level gets offered the same. They can't up it just for our location or they'd have to do it everywhere. I've seen the job adverts so I know they are actively recruiting. My manager is just as stressed about our lack of staff, they can't make profits/stay open if there is no one to work and their own job is made 10x harder.

OP posts:
goldenlocks · 09/06/2023 23:16

Sorry people are being nasty. I think it says more about them than you OP. You are clearly worried about workload,.not gossiping needlessly.

Original poster
threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 23:26

Absolutely @goldenlocks. I have absolutely nothing against X and wish her all the best whether she stays or goes and I'm really not bothered about how well the company is doing financially. I'm concerned about all the exhausted staff on the ground run ragged by increasing levels of pressure to perform from the higher management and having to do the work of several people each because there just aren't enough of us. Some of our staff are teenagers still at school, they shouldn't have to be dealing with this stuff.

OP posts:
Rainbowsandfairies · 09/06/2023 23:28

Sorry don't have time to read all the thread but you're definitely being unreasonable xx

FurryPelmet · 09/06/2023 23:35

Nope, it’s not your place to reveal this information. Do not repeat it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/06/2023 23:46

"Would I be unreasonable to give my manager a heads up about this? I'd feel bad going behind X's back to mention this to my manager when she hasn't got another job yet and might even change her mind about it. It's her news to tell and I don't want to feel like I'm gossiping."
You would be HUGELY unreasonable to do this. So don't.

"At the same time myself and my other colleagues are absolutely on our knees because we are so short staffed and we are about to head into our busiest time of year so to lose another member of staff would really impact us all in a huge way. I was close to tears at work earlier as I was so stressed and overwhelmed. Any possible chance to get ahead in the recruitment process would be really helpful."
You are short staffed. Regardless of X, you should be recruiting anyway. Whether she stays or not, YOU SHOULD BE RECRUITING ANYWAY. Th fact that you are not recruiting when you are short-staffed tells me that your company is crap to work for which is why X is looking for a new job.

Which makes me wonder - why aren't you looking for a new job, since you're on your knees overwhelmed and your manager is taking zero steps to remedy the situation?

Shoemadlady · 09/06/2023 23:49

This is none of your business.keep you mouth shut

JudgeRudy · 09/06/2023 23:52

For me the key thing would be she told you in confidence.For that reason only I'd keep my mouth shut and honour my word. I think the only time you should break a confidence is if it's dangerous or immoral. This is neither, it's inconvenient.
If you feel you can't keep your mouth shut at least have a word with her first and own it. Maybe she might decide to inform herself.

Original poster
threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 23:58

@WhereYouLeftIt as I have said, we are recruiting already, we have just not bad many applicants. Of the ones we have had, many have not turned up for either the interview or the trials.

I have looked for other jobs but I have an old style contract which is much better than most of the staff and so there isn't anything on offer anywhere else which is equal or better at the moment.

OP posts:
IneedcoffeeinanIV · 10/06/2023 00:00

No you should absolutely not say anything. You've been told this in confidence for starters so would be a massive betrayal of trust and also deem you untrustworthy to everyone else. They also might not even end up leaving so would just leave a sour taste is everyone else's mouth about them which would then probably come back to bite you. You're already short staffed so one other person isn't going to change it by much anyway. Leave it be

TortolaParadise · 10/06/2023 00:03

threelegdonkey · 09/06/2023 22:33

I work in a pretty small team with an even smaller management team.

One of my management colleagues (who I'll call X) recently confided in me that she was looking for another job as she's tried unsuccessfully to renegotiate the terms of her employment and was just generally unhappy in the job. X hasn't been in the role that long but I don't think it quite met her expectations so tbh I think moving on is probably the best thing for her. I like her as a person but she hasn't been the easiest to work with lately as I think her frustration at the role is becoming more and more apparent at she's putting less and less effort in.

X has told me that she's been looking for other jobs and has had interviews and trial shifts already so it seems only a matter of time before she gets something else and gives her notice in, I have a feeling this will be quite soon.

Would I be unreasonable to give my manager a heads up about this? I'd feel bad going behind X's back to mention this to my manager when she hasn't got another job yet and might even change her mind about it. It's her news to tell and I don't want to feel like I'm gossiping.

At the same time myself and my other colleagues are absolutely on our knees because we are so short staffed and we are about to head into our busiest time of year so to lose another member of staff would really impact us all in a huge way. I was close to tears at work earlier as I was so stressed and overwhelmed. Any possible chance to get ahead in the recruitment process would be really helpful.

Would you want to know if you were the manager? Also, if my manager finds out that I knew in advance and didn't say anything they might be really annoyed. I don't know what to do?!

Mind your own business. Let X do their thing and speak to the manager when they have something to say.

RoxyMuzak · 10/06/2023 00:04

If your manager is any good, they've seen this coming, and 'drawn their plans', as HG Wells said about the Martians. If they aren't any good, maybe you should be looking around for another job.

UsingChangeofName · 10/06/2023 00:11

Absolutely what @LittleRedYoshi said.

Approaching management with your worries about staff welfare and wellbeing is absolutely the right thing to do.
Breaking your colleague's confidence is absolutely a no no.

MMMarmite · 10/06/2023 00:14

Your company sounds shit. No-one wants the jobs because they aren't offering enough. The company isn't willing to fix this and just piles extra work on existing staff. I'd vote with your feet.

Fighterofthenightman1 · 10/06/2023 00:18

If I was your manager and you approached me with this information, I'd think you were really unprofessional

KenAdams · 10/06/2023 00:39

Fighterofthenightman1 · 10/06/2023 00:18

If I was your manager and you approached me with this information, I'd think you were really unprofessional

Agreed. And you'd go to the bottom of the pile for any future promotions because you're a snake.

Barleysugar86 · 10/06/2023 00:50

The thing with interviewing is it's just considering your options. I went for some interviews which weren't successful and then decided to stay at my current work for a while and stopped looking.

This isn't your news to tell. And you might accidently push someone out the door who was only peering through to see what was out there.

Maddy70 · 10/06/2023 00:58

What you should say is " you need to look after x ". And then leave it at that

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