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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected at least acknowledgement of gift?!

24 replies

AmeliaWarnerBros · 09/06/2023 21:29

Hello,

I was supposed to go to a christening-type thing over the weekend when the train strikes were going on.

I've been staying in a city where trains are bad anyway.

Anyway, I couldn't make this event- which I warned my so-called friend a day or so about before- & she (as a reasonable person) seemed to understand & accept this. I said I'd try, but regrettably probably couldn't make it.

So, I clearly did not end up going, & (perhaps to assuage my guilt) I ended up organising a £75 Amazon gift card as a little treat for her.

I've heard nothing back. Like wtaf? Is this normal? Do I check it arrived, or what? Maybe she thinks I couldn't be arsed with it (tbf, I do not like children it has to be said- particularly babies, it must be clarified), but I sent a nice voucher. And I genuinely couldn't make it.

Please set my mind at rest, MN. Am I being pathetic expecting -not necessarily a thanks- but an acknowledgement it arrived (it said it'd arrived by email & had my name & message on it), or am I at fault? Do we not thank people anymore these days??

Thanks. I'm a bit p-d off about this, & don't mind feedback 😁

OP posts:
Engineeringlife · 09/06/2023 21:32

Often at christenings (like weddings) the thank you cards are sent out in bulk a few weeks after the event. However, a quick text message would be nice.

Barndoors · 09/06/2023 21:33

How did you send it? She might not have got it, so I would message and say I hope the christening went well and you had a lovely time, sorry again I couldn’t make it. I posted a gift card to you so you can buy something for X, did it arrive ok?

Whowahway123 · 09/06/2023 21:35

Maybe she thought it was a scam email as not expecting it

Changingplace · 09/06/2023 21:39

I think you should give your friend a bit more time, if there were lots of gifts she’s probably just not got around to it yet.

Gingergirl70 · 09/06/2023 21:40

OK, I have mixed feelings about this. I find that nobody thanks you for gifts sent to their children nowadays. I have family members with kids and not once have I ever received a text or call of thanks for any gift, whatever the occasion. However that's not the kids' fault so I don't penalise them for it. I still try buy a thoughtful, relevant gift.

If you were intending to attend the occasion personally, would you have still gifted a baby/child an amazon gift voucher, regardless of value? Yes, you should have received a thank you or acknowledgement but maybe your friend is pissed that not only did you not attend but couldn't be bothered to mark the occasion with a nicely thought gift. I'd rather get a £10 gift that has been thought about rather than £75 lazy one unless vouchers were specifically asked for. Maybe you've made your dislike of babies and children so we'll known, that this has added to their perception that you just can't be arsed.

OR maybe the very thoughtful evoucher ended up in their spam mail and they've not seen it yet?
.

roarfeckingroarr · 09/06/2023 21:41

Are you sure she received it?

It was my baby's baptism at the weekend. Written thank you cards are in the post tomorrow. Maybe it's something like that?

DogsMenu · 09/06/2023 21:48

The christening was only a few days ago, give your friend a chance! I don’t check my personal email that often, she might not even have seen it.

TheFlis12345 · 09/06/2023 21:49

If it was an Amazon e card they often go into spam.

ZekeZeke · 09/06/2023 21:50

Give her a chance. It's been days!
They are probably planning on doing their thank you cards/messages in one sweep

Dacadactyl · 09/06/2023 21:50

It can take ages for thank you notes to go out. I'd expect to wait up to 3 months for a thank you tbh.

Cosyblankets · 09/06/2023 21:52

Am I the only one thinking bloody hell £75!

Original poster
AmeliaWarnerBros · 09/06/2023 21:52

To be clear, this voucher was in addition to the gift for her baby. It was a little something for her; I made this clear in the message.

Thanks though; I didn't think of it ending up in spam 😣 I'll look a bit daft if that's the case!!

OP posts:
Gingergirl70 · 09/06/2023 21:56

@AmeliaWarnerBros obviously this wasn't clear cos I don't think any poster above thought you meant a gift for the mum as they all talk about thank you cards for gifts received for the actual christening

Blablablanamechangagain · 09/06/2023 22:01

Gingergirl70 · 09/06/2023 21:56

@AmeliaWarnerBros obviously this wasn't clear cos I don't think any poster above thought you meant a gift for the mum as they all talk about thank you cards for gifts received for the actual christening

I think she means clear in the message to her friend...

CKL987 · 09/06/2023 22:13

Someone sent me an Amazon gift card as a thank you for a work thing and it went into my spam and I didn't notice it. Luckily they mentioned it to me a few days later and I found it. So I'd suggest you message and say you've sent it and that they should check their spam if it isn't in their inbox as you had it happen with someone else.
Obviously they may have received it and just be rude.

cutesl · 09/06/2023 22:21

YABU for buying an amazon voucher, you could support a much more ethical and nicer company with that money.

YANBU to expect a thanks but I expect she hasn't gotten it or is writing written thank yous.

If you don't get one then you can also access the voucher code and spend it yourself first ;)

Original poster
AmeliaWarnerBros · 09/06/2023 23:54

Yes, if it sounded unclear: I bought a gift for the baby. Then, I bought my friend the Amazon voucher. The message I'm referring to is the one to her- apologies for not making it & I hoped she'd enjoy the voucher.

OP posts:
Carrusa · 10/06/2023 01:58

I would give her a few weeks, especially if she's doing written cards.

It's quite easy to miss an email though, especially if it's from Amazon and she's ordered from them herself lately.

VapeHelp · 10/06/2023 02:07

3 months to send out thank you cards? Bloody hell, that’s pathetic.

I’ve stopped buying anything for anyone who doesn’t acknowledge it, including kids. Politeness costs nothing.

turtool · 10/06/2023 02:08

If/when she buys something she will probably respond. Amazon isn't a friend gift really , I'd rather my friend take me out for a Wetherspoons breakfast than a money gift . Would always choose to be with my friend over her giving me a gift card.

SideWonder · 10/06/2023 07:02

YANBU. People are rude nowadays.

Just contact her to check that it arrived. Might nudge her conscience.

Ilovecleaning · 29/12/2023 07:47

Gingergirl70 · 09/06/2023 21:56

@AmeliaWarnerBros obviously this wasn't clear cos I don't think any poster above thought you meant a gift for the mum as they all talk about thank you cards for gifts received for the actual christening

It was very clear in the original post that the gift was for the friend, not the child.

Ilovecleaning · 29/12/2023 07:50

Ilovecleaning · 29/12/2023 07:47

It was very clear in the original post that the gift was for the friend, not the child.

Show quote history

LOL 🤣 And I have just noticed how old this thread is! Well, that bit wasn’t clear to me! So, I feel a bit of an idiot now 🤪🤪🤪

Anna8089 · 23/01/2024 19:18

I hate email and would of thought it was a scam . Best thing to do is tell her you sent it and ask if she received it. Not difficult.

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