Changing schools

28 replies

Adifferentcorner · 09/06/2023 16:07

My DH and I are having such a big dilemma. We’ve found out today that our dd has got a place in year 9 at a school we would love her to go to. If we had got the place a year ago, we know our dd would have likely been happy to go there, but now she is more settled at her current school. However, we are not happy about the path she is taking. She has really dipped academically and seems to have no motivation to try her best. I’m also not overly keen on her friendship circle, which is probably clouding my judgement about what to do. What should we do? If we accept the place, I know she’ll be really upset and hate us for a while, but has anyone ever done this and their dd has eventually forgiven them and settled into their new school ok? She does have friends from primary at the new school.

OP posts:

GCalltheway · 10/06/2023 14:06

Memysel · 09/06/2023 19:18

A teenager needs stability, happiness and guidance. If she decides that she wants to stay in current school, you need to allow her to make that decision. Allowing her to make her own decisions will go much further than controlling her life.
I appreciate that this might be heard to hear, but she needs to grow on her own and make her own decisions in life. Be her support and guidance, but do not make the decision on her behalf.
A school should be much more than just getting good grades.
If she has good guidance and support from home she will see sense when the time is right.
Employees will appreciative an employee that is able to work independently and make their own decisions rather than an employee that is waiting on instruction every single time because they haven't been allowed to make their own decision throughout their life.
On a side note, why is there so much pressure on children so young to achieve in life, at that age they should enjoy life carefree.

I don’t agree. Your dd is too young to
understand the impact of poor schooling on her future. She has friends at the new school and a better ethos. I would move her. It sounds like a bad crowd that will only get worse.

Littlehouse2 · 01/07/2023 13:45

I have a similar dilema but for different reasons. Friendship groups have a massive influence, especialy at this age. Children are adaptable and resilient. Maybe a fresh start at a new school is what she needs.
I would weigh up whats worse leaving her and things getting worse, moving her and her being angry for a while but potentially improving all round
Whats the worst that could happen if you move her? If it happened could you deal with it?
School only hapens once... doesnt sound like she is doing well at her current school. Be good to find out from her why
Tough choice

Nappyvalley15 · 01/07/2023 14:02

It's a gamble but I would move her. If she stays where she is, things are unlikely to improve.

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