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Original poster

49 and looking haggard. Is this just inevitable now?

83 replies

sharktractorbingo · 09/06/2023 11:30

time I catch a glimpse of myself recently I just think how aged I’m looking. I don’t know if that just it now, I’m getting old and need to accept that my looks are fading. I really try to look after myself - these are the things I do: I rarely drink alcohol, I eat a healthy diet, I drink at least 2 litres of water every day, I run 5 miles 4 times a week, I always cleanse and moisturise my face twice a day, I take a multivitamin daily. My BMI is 20.6.
I have been more stressed than normal as I have teens doing exams at the moment.
Is there anything else I should be doing?

OP posts:
40thingsIlove · 11/06/2023 22:38

I have runners face, hands and neck!

willahelmina · 11/06/2023 22:50

I disagree about having to choose between face and body. I run a couple of times a week and look young for my age. It's good for your complexion, and legs - none of the saggy knees people complain about. I don't see anyone looking haggard for their ages at run events.

Genetics and bone structure plays the biggest part, and my mother looks great at 70. No hollowing or sagging. She's slim with high cheekbones so a good scaffolding effect.

A sudden weight loss, or too much, can look ageing, though, but you can add filler. Better to deal with that too much weight on the face as that's only going to go one way (down) in the form of jowls and double chins - more difficult to correct and only really with a facelift.

whattodo87 · 11/06/2023 22:58

I feel your pain .... I plucked up the courage to see a consultant about breast implants and got told 'no - you need a boob lift' !!
I was totally gutted and almost cried :-(

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 11/06/2023 23:04

I'd always been 'ok' looking, even though my body changed through age and pregnancy is still looked 'ok' had a glow. Then I hit 45 and BAM, I now look old/haggard/aging take your pick. Doesn't matter what I do, I now look old. I feel old.

echt · 11/06/2023 23:05

sharktractorbingo · 09/06/2023 15:36

You’re probably right about mixing up my exercise routine more and adding weights. I’ve been meaning to but then just go for a run because it’s quick and easy.
Not sure if I’m underweight or not. I’m a size 10 but tall so maybe a few pounds would help. What’s a good BMI for approaching 50 do you think?

BMI doesn't have a different calculator until you're 65 when the Geriatric BMI Calculator (lovely name!) comes in: https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/geriatric-bmi

Geriatric BMI Calculator | BMI Calculator for Seniors

The geriatric BMI calculator is designed for older individuals over 65 years of age. It calculates BMI and determines if the person is underweight, overweight, or a healthy weight.

https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/geriatric-bmi

Dillydollydingdong · 11/06/2023 23:07

Too skinny. And you need to make sure you get your full 8 hours sleep.

Ohdave · 11/06/2023 23:10

hamstersarse · 09/06/2023 13:01

I am 48 and got told the other day by a whole team of people they thought I was about 27.

My BMI is also around 21 and I do drink some alcohol, but honestly the game changer for me has been diet and sleep and the great outdoors.

I know saturated fat has been vilified in recent decades but the moment I switched my diet away from 'healthy' seed oils (veg, sunflower, rapeseed etc) and ate beef dripping, butter and occasionally olive oil, cut out all processed food, upped my protein intake (especially red meat), then my skin transformed. I think we need good fat as women - as that is NOT that bullshit processed fat. At 40 I looked quite tired, now I have bright eyes and clear plump skin. I also tan (Nordic skin tones) and never wear sun lotion (toxic bullshit).

I also make sure I sleep properly - I actually only need 6.5 to 7 hours a night, but I go to bed at a similar time and wake up naturally (around 6-7) and take magnesium before bed.

Sleep and food - and doing lots of exercise! My Apple Health app tells me I have averaged 98 mins of exercise a day for the past year.

Ignore this at your peril unless you want skin cancer.

Ohdave · 11/06/2023 23:11

Ps beef dripping is not going to make you look young, only contribute to cardiovascular disease.

Zipps · 11/06/2023 23:12

Yoga
Face yoga
Weights
Teeth whitening
A good none abrasive face scrub
Smile and enjoy yourself

Mmhmmn · 11/06/2023 23:19

What is runner's face?? What does it look like?

BettyJaney · 11/06/2023 23:20

I would be genuinely interested to see a picture of you as I can’t believe you look 27

JMSA · 11/06/2023 23:23

TheConnoisseurOfDestruction · 09/06/2023 12:51

I chose the face, the body's nothing to write home about though😀

I am chubby and on HRT, I do not smoke but I am 52 and have a smooth unlined face

Do you have children? The youngest looking people I know don't. Sadly I'm not one of them Grin

Googlecotseolk · 11/06/2023 23:25

I'm a runner and look older than I am but I absolutely love running so I shall just have to live with the consequences I guess

JMSA · 11/06/2023 23:25

hamstersarse · 09/06/2023 13:01

I am 48 and got told the other day by a whole team of people they thought I was about 27.

My BMI is also around 21 and I do drink some alcohol, but honestly the game changer for me has been diet and sleep and the great outdoors.

I know saturated fat has been vilified in recent decades but the moment I switched my diet away from 'healthy' seed oils (veg, sunflower, rapeseed etc) and ate beef dripping, butter and occasionally olive oil, cut out all processed food, upped my protein intake (especially red meat), then my skin transformed. I think we need good fat as women - as that is NOT that bullshit processed fat. At 40 I looked quite tired, now I have bright eyes and clear plump skin. I also tan (Nordic skin tones) and never wear sun lotion (toxic bullshit).

I also make sure I sleep properly - I actually only need 6.5 to 7 hours a night, but I go to bed at a similar time and wake up naturally (around 6-7) and take magnesium before bed.

Sleep and food - and doing lots of exercise! My Apple Health app tells me I have averaged 98 mins of exercise a day for the past year.

Smug Grin

Salvadoral · 11/06/2023 23:30

BMI is basically meaningless bollocks (and 20+ is not remotely underweight!) - focus on your health/agility/strength, OP. Our faces are just one part of how we are age it sounds like you’re in good shape.

Also agree with pp that stress is the most ageing thing (inside and out!) so it’s definitely worth thinking about what you’re doing to combat this.

bluetongue · 11/06/2023 23:43

NorthWestThree · 09/06/2023 11:56

I've always looked young for my age, until recently! I think it's worse having been always told I look young as I feel the pressure to not look 45 😂 I look in the mirror and I see a 45 year old which should be fine but I want to see a 25 year old 😂
My wrinkly neck is the thing I hate most. I slather firming product on my face and neck before bed and DH always moans about my slippery face when he kisses me goodnight haha

Sorry, no helpful suggestions, I'm trying to learn to roll with it and embrace being older...!

Are you me? I used to always look younger than my age until I hit mid 40’s and I swear I’ve aged 10 years overnight. It’s not just my face, my crinkled neck makes me sad 😭 I’m also in Australia so even though I’m no sun worshipper I have some sun spots and no doubt other sun related aging.

Guess I naively thought that I’d look younger than my years forever.

willahelmina · 12/06/2023 00:30

Mmhmmn · 11/06/2023 23:19

What is runner's face?? What does it look like?

Nonsense! Look at Paula Radcliffe who looks great for her age.

Perhaps I don't run as much as some with parkrun and a couple of times a week, plus minor events., but friends do half, and full, marathons and I go to support them and don't see this runner face at all. My oldest friend has taken up running after separating from her husband and she's lost her excess face, and body, weight and looks marvellously well.

Upwiththelark76 · 12/06/2023 00:35

My DP always says bigger girls age better, - no wrinkles ?’

GarlicGrace · 12/06/2023 01:25

Upwiththelark76 · 12/06/2023 00:35

My DP always says bigger girls age better, - no wrinkles ?’

Fat don't crack 😂

EthelMcUnready · 12/06/2023 01:52

As PP's have said, it's hard to know if you have "runners face" (whatever the frig that is...) or are just being harsh on yourself....
In my experience, most people who think they look good for their age, um, don't 🫣 and people who are down on themselves actually don't realise how lovely they do look!
Personally I think people get a general impression.... so it's things like a good figure (so personally I'd keep up the running), flattering hairstyle, stylish-but-reasonably-fashionable dressing, that make a person look good for their age (not Botox ~ hardly noticeable unless you are looking very closely or lip fillers etc).

bluetongue · 12/06/2023 02:12

EthelMcUnready · 12/06/2023 01:52

As PP's have said, it's hard to know if you have "runners face" (whatever the frig that is...) or are just being harsh on yourself....
In my experience, most people who think they look good for their age, um, don't 🫣 and people who are down on themselves actually don't realise how lovely they do look!
Personally I think people get a general impression.... so it's things like a good figure (so personally I'd keep up the running), flattering hairstyle, stylish-but-reasonably-fashionable dressing, that make a person look good for their age (not Botox ~ hardly noticeable unless you are looking very closely or lip fillers etc).

I really did used to look very young for my age. It runs in my family. I’m also short which helps gives an overall younger impression.

I’m no oil painting, not even when I was-in my 20’s, and can recognise that I look my age now so pretty sure it’s not vanity talking.

Apart from my neck and crepey under eyes the worst part my face is the vertical lines between my eyebrows. They are not only, aging, they also make me look tired and angry. I’m getting the courage up and budget sorted for Botox there. Like others in this thread I’m starting to feel old in comparison to my 20 something work colleagues and could really do with a confidence boost. I’ve never even had my nails or eyebrows done so this is a big step for me.

willahelmina · 12/06/2023 04:59

Fat don't crack 😂

It sags downwards instead. Probably by mid/late 40s, definitely by 50s.

Nothing to do with running. It's just natural ageing, same with the 'normal' and thin faces. Genetics and bone structure will play a part if you're lucky.

Termagantish · 12/06/2023 05:10

I am 53 and look ok. But not super young or old. I don’t do much exercise. I have quite a lot of stress. I have an average diet. I have wrinkles and if someone said they could magic them away I would say no thanks. They are part of me.

I was an unattractive but clever kid. I grew up defining myself by my academic abilities not looks. Strangely I managed to be a woman at peace with her distinctly average looks. I like dressing up, buying nice clothes etc but am accepting that I look 53. With some wrinkles, grey hairs and imperfect body.

I am not going to tell everyone I am haggard. Why be so rude about myself?

OP I envy your fitness a bit. It’s amazing you run. Don’t sacrifice that for looks!

Dentistlakes · 12/06/2023 05:23

My advice is to get into the gym and start lifting weights. Resistance training help you retain muscle mass and shape and support your running long term. I would reduce the cardio significantly in the meantime, maybe 2-3 times per week. Otherwise you seem to be doing all the right things. Unfortunately we can’t escape ageing.

BeethovenNinth · 12/06/2023 05:37

being thin plus running is aging to the face sadly.

I like the odd run but mix it up a bit with weights and cycles. Try to eat enough good fats too.