To keep everything for non existent second child

[Scotlandma]

I have a friend having twins 30 weeks pregnant and asked for some of my 1 year olds bits that they’ve grown out of shoes clothes etc

but I’ve been saving everything for when I eventually have a second child although I don’t intend to start trying for another year or even 2

am I being unreasonable? how much do other people keep because at this point I’m just saving everything from vests to trainers bibs anything that’s not stained

Keep it if you know you'll want it all, there's no guarantee you'll get back what you loan.

I loaned a lot to a friend after dc1 and didn't know we'd have dc2, but kept special things. Friend used it, passed it to someone else and then about half of what we'd loaned came back along with loads of other stuff from the 2 babies and we ended up with more than I'd given, very lucky all of us leaned towards neutral clothes. If I'd been precious about getting back specific things I'd have been disappointed though.

Gosh she is very cheeky. If you want children you budget for them.

Definitely keep it, it will be expensive to replace.

I actually think it's very cheeky of her to ask for things. If she had said something like "if you have anything you don't want anymore I'll happily take it off your hands" that's one thing. But to ask to be given baby items that are expensive when added up, is rude to me.

I've kept the majority, expecting DC2 now with a 3.5 year gap. I think she should really have waited until you offered. As others have said maybe share some of the bigger bits but keep the clothes back as they could get stained. I personally wouldn't pass clothes on until I knew I was finished with them x

I’ve kept everything from DS as am planning a second child.

I think it’s really cheeky to ask and puts your in an awkward position. I would say no otherwise it sets an expectation that as soon as your DC grows out of something it will be passed on.

Keep it! I didn't and have had to rebuy everything

This.

Very rude to ask.

Of course you mind them and keep them for the possibility of a second child.

I wouldn't even loan bits because you have to be prepared for the possibility that they are used differently and will come back used, grubby, broken.

After 4 children I passed everything on to a good friend who's younger brother was having a baby, and they were almost as new as I look after things.

They were hugely appreciative of it.

But you risk falling out if you loan things.

I kept all my little hand stitched leather first little slippers, that each of them used.

Things like that would never come back as given.

Just be honest and say "No I will be hopefully be needing them".

It would make me wary of her.

That is real CF territory and not normal.

I'm currently on mat leave with DS2. DS1 is 5.5 and we kept absolutely everything!

When DS1 was born a good friend lent me loads of 0-3 and 3-6 clothes.

For DS2, a colleague brought in a bag of 0-1 clothes for me the week before I went on mat leave. I lent him a bag of 6-9 month stuff that I know he'll return. Now I'm lending a bag of 0-1 to another colleague that is on mat leave from today.

I love the clothes that we got for DS1, especially his cute little cardigans and dungarees. 🥰 It's lovely imagining someone else's baby getting to wear those clothes and not having to spend time and money sourcing it all.

I think it's a real waste not to share, but I would expect them to be returned at some point. In your shoes, I would lend!

Definitely keep!

So odd for her to ask when you have a young child given it's the norm to have at least 2!

I do think it is unreasonable, because at 30 weeks you would have offered her stuff to her if you were going to.

I barely got rid of anything until DS was about 10 'just in case'. I think it's pretty normal to keep the bulk of it until you feel pretty certain you don't intend to have more children, then give away what you don't want to keep.

I wouldn't have asked anyone for stuff either. My sister sent a massive amount of DN's babygros and vests over for my DS when he was born, also toys, bouncers, playmat, and it was very gratefully received, but she offered.

I kept anything not stained/damaged. She's now 6 and still not had a second but not getting rid of thing just in case.
I sold the pushchair though as knew if i had a second i'd want a new one, also gave to family the moses basket/jumperoo (things bought for us by family as felt that was the right thing to do)

Clothing wise, I kept everything that was neutral and a couple of sentimental items. We did hold onto other baby bits like the bouncer etc but I fell pregnant when my eldest was 9 months old.
I did give away some bits to friends and as my children grew I passed on their clothes to family and friends, we still do it now on occasion.

I'm keeping all my 16 month old's stuff for the same reason. Planning to TTC next year, over a year away. YANBU

If you think you'll have another, keep them. I didn't for the first year or so of DD1s life and have been lamenting all the stuff I've had to buy for DD2.

Once I realised I should be doing that, I saved everything that was still in good condition. I remember having a bit of a chip on my shoulder about always getting my big sisters cast off's as a kid, so I wouldn't keep anything that looks worn.

I'd lend it, it's just stuff and you can have it back in time for your second 🤷🏻‍♀️

But if you don't want to, you don't have to.

Tell your friend to join her local twins club they usually have loads of stuff getting passed on for cheap/free

She’s unreasonable to ask.

And yyy to joining a local twins’ club - it’s basically “Congratulations! PLEASE TAKE ALL OUR STUFF” round my way. DTs are nearly two and I think my only purchases to date ahave been two hoodies.

My brother and sister in law gave away a massive bundle of baby clothes, some brand new, all in good condition on Facebook. They delivered the bundle and didn’t even get a thank you. When their DS was one they fell pregnant with another DS and had to buy it all again.

I am keeping all of DD’s baby clothes even though she is an IVF baby so a sibling is far from certain. I’m a bit precious about her stuff, I get stains out straight away and don’t tumble dry anything, and wouldn’t want them coming back to me in a bad condition.

I would (and did) keep it all. Clothes don’t always last that well over multiple babies- I have three children but not everything from DC1 made it to DC3- (which was fine because it was my own middle DC who wore some things out- but I wouldn’t have given them away for another baby to do that!) Now I’m done having children I’m happy to give everything away once the youngest has outgrown them. Fine for her to ask I guess, but definitely equally fine for you to say ‘Sorry friend, we haven’t kept loads anyway but what we do have we’re keeping in case we have another one’.

Well, I kept everything for DC2, who came almost five years after the birth of the DC1. We were always planning a second one and we made no secret about it, so no one was surprised or asked for the stuff instead.

This. I kept everything too.

I wouldn’t lend it at all. Nothing will
come back in the same condition.

Of course you can keep things for your second baby. Realistically, you don’t get everything back in the same condition as when you lent it out . I lent out items to different people after we’d had our 2nd , some came back in good condition but a lot didn’t.

I kept the lot and most of my older boy stuff works for my girl due in a few weeks. I gave my cousin the really obvious boy stuff but she didn’t ask for it!!

How do you get stains out of baby clothes? I find it so hard and they never come out, I usually leave then in just a nappy to wat now it's hot but if I accidently drop food in them whilst breastfeeding or if they get food on them the stains never come out in the wash