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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that secondary sports day should be optional?

133 replies

Peggy0907 · 09/06/2023 06:35

DS is year 10, his whole school have sports day today at an athletics track nearby. He hasn't been picked for anything, they do tryouts during P.E and he isn't sporty at all so he's fine with that. My issue is that it's compulsory for the whole school to go and watch from 8.30-3pm regardless of if they're doing an event or not. So DS's day will involve sitting in the stands (no roaming allowed), eating and chatting. They can bring a small bag with packed lunch and a reading book so it's not like he can even bring all his revision material.
I'm sure a lot of the kids will love this but DS hates it and is begging me to let him stay home and revise for his mocks that start on Monday.
Aibu to think that either every kid should be involved in some way or that it should be optional to attend if that isn't an option? I understand they're there to "cheer on" their classmates but in reality the kids in the stands aren't even watching what's going on anyway and it just really seems like a big waste of time for them.
Just to say, I think that it's brilliant that the sports department organise this day and for those children who love sports, whether taking part or spectating, it's a wonderful day for them. But for those like my son, it's a day away from learning.

OP posts:
lavenderlou · 09/06/2023 07:13

Sounds boring and pointless. If they aren't going to have something everyone can join in with, they should supervise the others at school. I would let him stay home.

Twiglets1 · 09/06/2023 07:13

@Peggy0907 I would allow him to take a tactical sickie that day. Stay at home and revise for mocks or catch up on Homework or a bit of work & a bit of down time. Year 10 is the last year they have to attend sports day so why not?

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

Kiwano · 09/06/2023 07:16

I would be quite concerned about the aspect of a lot of children sitting outside for hours in the heat. Is the stand sheltered? What steps is the school planning to take to ensure they don't burn or get heat exhaustion and that they're adequately hydrated?

Newname211 · 09/06/2023 07:17

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

He isn’t opting out of participating in sports, he’s opting out of watching sports. I don’t see the value in watching other people exercise.

thatcornishfeeling · 09/06/2023 07:18

And some of those kids aren't academic or sporty. (Like me at secondary school!)

And I didn't have a nice home to go & skive off in :/ or parents who were bothered if I revised or not.

I don't know what the answer is with this one!

Kiwano · 09/06/2023 07:18

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

They're not wholly opting out of sports. This kid tried out for it. They're opting out of a pointless day when they will learn nothing and won't become fit or lose weight - rather the reverse.

Original poster
Peggy0907 · 09/06/2023 07:19

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

Nobody is encouraging anyone to opt out of sports! He does pe multiple times a week and fully participates. Why not have a sports day where the morning involves the heats which everyone takes part in and then an afternoon of finals for example? My issue is that he has to spend a whole day sitting around doing nothing, not exactly promoting health and fitness is it?

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 09/06/2023 07:21

Yes . My Ds is year 11 . I think they only had sports day in year 7 due to the pandemic .

I agree with the poster who said the one thing pe should be doing is encouraging enjoyment in exercise only the few enjoy sports day

wildfirewonder · 09/06/2023 07:22

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. No it is not.

Life is full of things we do not enjoy, but for rational reasons we do them. Attending this sports day is not like that - because there is no rational reason to have to do it.

I do not do anything I don't want to do. I have told my kids they don't have to do anything they don't want to do. I explained to them they do not have to do any homework or revision, but they must accept the detentions and lower results that follow if they take that path. My kids do their homework voluntarily.

I do not have to turn up for work. I do not have to clean the house. I do not have to ever get out of bed if I don't want to.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 09/06/2023 07:22

Your child is part of the school community. He should be encouraged to take an active part in that wider community by supporting those who are taking part. Maybe recognise whilst he sees value in books, others find that value in sport.

It's great that others find that value in sport, but I'm not sure why all the other kids need to sit around and watch?

It's interesting that all of the kids are forced to sit and "cheer on" their peers at sports day, and yet I have never known a school that forces all of the children to watch school drama productions, dance events etc. Why is sport so special that everyone has to watch?

highlandspooce · 09/06/2023 07:24

Mine never went to school on sports day since primary 3, after that they change from fun games to more traditional sports day stuff.

Mummumgem · 09/06/2023 07:27

If he was younger I would say go, it’s a school day and you can’t take it off just because you don’t like the day’s activities, he should be there to support his house.

that said he has exams this year, sooooo I would bend the rules and let him have a study day, but stress it is a bending of the rules, and he must study

Twiglets1 · 09/06/2023 07:27

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

No one ever lost weight by sitting around all day watching other people participate in doing sports. Utterly pointless unless they enjoy it and want to watch.

GoalShooter · 09/06/2023 07:29

OP, while it may be his personal preference, it's unrealistic to think that they might make sports day optional. They can't tell the kids just not to bother coming in (they have a duty to educate the kids except due to exceptional circumstances) and they probably don't have enough staff available to supervise sports day AND supervise the kids who want to stay in the classroom and not attend.

If he doesn't want to go to school that day, meh, keep him off. But I think you need to accept that this is how sports day works, like it or not.

redskylight · 09/06/2023 07:32

DC's school sports day probably has the lowest attendance of the year as so many opt not to go (same format as OP's - most just sit around all day and do no actual sports).
So I guess quietly letting your child not go in, is an option ...

WimpoleHat · 09/06/2023 07:33

My DD’s school is similarly ridiculous. There
are some things that are worth going into battle over - and this isn’t one of them, as you just won’t win. I always just say “feeling unwell” on the form and keep her off.

Justalittlebitduckling · 09/06/2023 07:34

Definitely they should find a way for everyone to be involved, maybe a big charity fun run at the end or something like that. Or pupils who would find it excruciating to participate could volunteer to do something else on the day like being a race Marshall or timer.
I would be tempted to let him stay home if he seriously wants to revise: what a waste of time.

CindersAgain · 09/06/2023 07:35

Kiwano · 09/06/2023 07:16

I would be quite concerned about the aspect of a lot of children sitting outside for hours in the heat. Is the stand sheltered? What steps is the school planning to take to ensure they don't burn or get heat exhaustion and that they're adequately hydrated?

Perhaps the OP doesn’t live in London. It’s not hot everywhere.

To think that secondary sports day should be optional?
SecretTattoo · 09/06/2023 07:35

At our school, if you’re not competing, you just watch in the afternoon so it’s not as bad.

I’d just let your son have the day off to revise for his exams. Missing sports day isn’t a big thing.

BogRollBOGOF · 09/06/2023 07:35

It's teaching a valuable lifeskill preparing for such tedious events as all-nighters in A&E, being trapped behind a major incident on a motorway, or being in an airport during a snowstorm. There are many times in life when one must endure being trapped for hours in situations where nothing is happening and precious time to do useful, interesting things is being squandered and it is imperative to learn how to endure this as a teenager, especially in this day and age where Sundays now have things open and happening so there isn't a weekly practice anymore 😁

Nah, let him have the day to study if he'll use it well. Watching people charging around and chucking stuff around is mind numbing and a waste of time. My brain doesn't even process what happened, it's as vague as "a ball/ spear/ cannon ball landed there" "people ran, people finished" "a ball went near the goal, did it go in, what's the score again, who's kicking to which end now". I do sport and am very active, but watching other people do it for hours is like watching paint dry and about as useful.

Original poster
Peggy0907 · 09/06/2023 07:36

GoalShooter · 09/06/2023 07:29

OP, while it may be his personal preference, it's unrealistic to think that they might make sports day optional. They can't tell the kids just not to bother coming in (they have a duty to educate the kids except due to exceptional circumstances) and they probably don't have enough staff available to supervise sports day AND supervise the kids who want to stay in the classroom and not attend.

If he doesn't want to go to school that day, meh, keep him off. But I think you need to accept that this is how sports day works, like it or not.

Yes, you're right. Perhaps my AIBU should be that sports day should involve everyone.. I think that's my biggest issue. Sitting around doing nothing all day just seems so pointless to me. At the very least surely they could have the kids not participating in the actual events be the ones who do the timings, shoot the starting gun (or whatever they have!) etc, etc.

I haven't shared my thoughts with him, I very much do not want to encourage pulling sickies to get out of things they don't enjoy but he's just left and I feel bad for him! He's had messages off 3 of his friends this morning to say they aren't going so he might not even have anyone to talk to. I've a feeling I might be getting a call later to say he isn't feeling well 🙈

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 09/06/2023 07:36

That's a shame . In our school you could pick your sport - shot putt, long jump etc. Eeveryone ran races, but you could choose the length. Sure there were some talented kids, but by and large these were not things kids regularly participated in (other than running) so it wasn't so much the same kids winning every year. Anyway my son was on the chubby side but he was game, snd enjoyed cheering on his 'house', and his weight and strength was always in demand for the tug of war!
I think Sports day should just be a fun day and they should make it so all can compete.

lilsupersparks · 09/06/2023 07:38

I couldn’t get worked up about him having a day off to revise. Agree it’s a staffing issue - they can’t make it optional.

i think it’s pretty poor that they don’t encourage more kids to take part. Ours are only allowed to take part in one event and one relay. This means the sporty ones have to choose what they are best in and the others have to step up. There are only a handful of kids who do nothing at all.

however, the field events are on a different day and are not watched. But we all head out to the school field to watch the track events. Staff are also specifically told they MUST attend as some would much rather be in their classroom working 😂

Mumoftwoinprimary · 09/06/2023 07:39

Changechangechanging · 09/06/2023 07:15

I can't imagine them clearing a school day and making the whole school watch the "academic" kids compete all day in a competition

What sort of message does it give any kid to allow them to wholly opt out of sports? On the other hand, no one ever put of weight, became unfit etc by not answering questions at a science quiz.

And of course we do need to remember that some kids are both sporty and academic.

Life is full of shit we have to do that we don't want to. 😕

And if the Op’s son had the chance to exercise during the day then I would agree with you. But from the BMI of the average English football fans I can state very definitely that watching sport does not actually make you fit.

I actually think that it is pretty dreadful that you have kids who want to take part in sports day and are not allowed because they are not good enough.

Kids who are willing but not particularly talented are exactly the people that things like sports day should be for. (I say that as someone with a child who is willing and very talented - she doesn’t need sports day to encourage her to exercise - she does that every fucking day anyway.)

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