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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Relative, dogs and food hygiene?

50 replies

HidingHereForTomorrow · 08/06/2023 18:50

I’m looking for opinions on whether or not I am being squeamish and unreasonable in regards to a relatives behaviour around her dogs, food, plates and her guests.

Relative has five small dogs and we first ate at her house around a year ago, it became apparent that any meal cooked for humans was to be shared with the dogs.. they were actually served first on their own plates before us Hah! I thought this was quite odd and a bit rude but each to their own. At the end of the evening I wanted to help clean up but she said it’s not a concern it will all go in the dishwasher.. which it did. So in went our plates, dogs plates, extra dog bowls for ‘normal dog food’ and everything else in between.

A couple of days later we returned for some more family time and the same routine occurred.. however, this relative does not have matching plate sets.. they are all vintage I think and no two is alike. I found myself eating off one of the plates that I had watched one of her dogs slobbering and chowing down on the other day. It turned my stomach, even though I knew it had been through the dishwasher, I just couldn’t enjoy my meal. So after a few weeks of watching the merry go round of plates and food being served to me and my children and the dogs.. we haven’t eaten there for months.

To the current issue, the relative now runs her own cafe with homemade food.. she is excited about this and wants us to go there to try out all the dishes she has created. I will not go there to eat and she’s beginning to get a bit annoyed. So, AIBU and the dishwasher takes care of everything anyway.. or is it grim? And I suppose the next point is.. how do you reckon paying customers would feel about this?

OP posts:
nosykids · 08/06/2023 18:59

I’m imagining her giving her dogs shepherd’s pie and so on - if that’s what’s she’s doing she is probably giving them all sorts of contraband (onions and garlic in particular) and will fuck up their teeth. I love dogs and think having them is good for our immune systems but I wouldn’t like the plate thing either.

Ilovecaviar · 08/06/2023 19:00

God that’s grim. Don’t blame you one bit.

TwoWaits · 08/06/2023 19:02

Yeah I agree, I think it’s a bit gross to be honest

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 08/06/2023 19:07

That all sounds horrible.
Im hypocritical though, as I do give my dogs our plates to clean up once we have eaten, which is probably a bit gross to non dog people, but the dishwasher sterilises everything. I wouldn't put the actual dog bowls in the dishwasher, that's horrible. The fork that i use for the dog food goes in the dishwasher though 😬. I certainly wouldn't cook the same for my dogs as for my family, dogs need specific dog diets. My dogs always eat before us though, they are fed at a specific time each day, and if you go so much as a minute over that time you know all about it.

HidingHereForTomorrow · 08/06/2023 19:08

I love dogs too, I’ve grown up with dogs.. I have my own wonderful dog, but I just can’t get past this and I’ve been wondering if it’s me? Yes you’re on the right track with shepherds pie, roast dinner etc. all vegan however.

OP posts:
Clymene · 08/06/2023 19:11

You're being absurd. A dishwasher kills all bacteria.

Just tell her you think she's dirty and then she won't invite her round anymore. If you're going to have unscientific objections to things, better to be honest.

mamabear715 · 08/06/2023 19:11

Gross.. & dogs need to be fed AFTER humans too, so they know their place in the pecking order..

Jagoda · 08/06/2023 19:14

I don’t understand…

It has all been through the dishwasher. What exactly are you afraid of?

Wyndam · 08/06/2023 19:15

Dishwasher cleans the plates. What's the problem?

ToHellBackAndBeyond · 08/06/2023 19:16

I agree re the dishwasher cleaning everything but if she's serving to the public she's crossing a food hygiene line and it ought to be flagged to the health inspector at the involved council.

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/06/2023 19:16

Doesn't bother me, if the plates are going in the dishwasher, we do that here. There is nothing in dog lick that isn't killed off in the dishwasher by hot water and soap!

I would NOT however, serve paying customers in a cafe, on plates the dog ate off - I doubt that would pass commercial hygiene rules.

I don't think its unsafe, I just don't think it is appropriate.

@mamabear715 thats bollocks, you're not a dog, your dog does not care when you eat, though if you eat before them and they are hungry, they will be more inclined to beg. But then if you eat in front of me and I am hungry, I'd be pretty annoyed and would desire some food too.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 08/06/2023 19:21

It's perfectly fine for you not to want to eat from the same crockery as the dogs use if you don't like it but you are being a bit squeamish and I don't think it's a biggie tbh.

Are you suggesting that this same crockery gets used in her new cafe? Or is it just that you are judging the cleanliness of her business based on how she behaves in her private home?

Meeting · 08/06/2023 19:22

Not a chance in hell I'd eat off her, how disgusting.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 08/06/2023 19:23

mamabear715 · 08/06/2023 19:11

Gross.. & dogs need to be fed AFTER humans too, so they know their place in the pecking order..

That's a very old-fashioned out-of-date idea you have there. Most people have moved on to a better more-informed dog behaviour theories now.

Hugasauras · 08/06/2023 19:25

So you ate off a plate that had been cleaned. Is that the issue? Confused

I stick dog bowls in the dishwasher with the rest of the stuff. Sometimes DDog licks a plate or two before it goes in the dishwasher. None of us have died yet but I'll keep you posted.

ShakeYourFeathers · 08/06/2023 19:26

Two minds about this

Our dog pre washes the plates after we've eaten off them and then they get put in the dishwasher

However I wouldn't eat out
Of her dog bowl and the fact that there's a whole meal been eaten off the plate by a dog is grim

What's the public health rating of the cafe??

SummaLuvin · 08/06/2023 19:28

I get that it's technically sterilised in the dishwasher, but I find it really disgusting and stomach turning. Call me petty, but I would be put off and actively avoid eating at a family member/friends house if I knew they did this.

TheKeatingFive · 08/06/2023 19:32

Personally I couldn't get worked up about this. Dishwashers clean at a high temperature.

ecdysiast2 · 08/06/2023 19:43

Wouldn't' bother me either.

HidingHereForTomorrow · 08/06/2023 19:46

What does being ‘unscientific’ have to do with anything? I’ve already stated that I know the dishwasher cleans everything. It’s just my personal opinion. She cooks homemade food in her house for her cafe.. so I imagine she uses her own crockery for it?

I’m regards to the dogs eating before us.. I didn’t mean the dogs ate their food at 1pm and then we ate at 3pm. I mean when the meal was done the dogs plates were filled and put down. Then ours were plated and served

OP posts:
HidingHereForTomorrow · 08/06/2023 19:47

As I said in my OP though, each to their own with that.

OP posts:
georgianwindow · 08/06/2023 19:52

Gross.. & dogs need to be fed AFTER humans too, so they know their place in the pecking order..

No they don't. These sorts of theories were disproven in the early 00s.

Nellieinthebarn · 08/06/2023 19:53

I have always had dogs, and the rule in my house is that dogs eat off of dog bowls, and humans eat off of human plates. Human plates pans and cutlery go in the dish washer. Dog plates get washed by hand, the washing up bowl is then sprayed with anti-bac. I love my dog, but I also don't allow cross contamination.

I think that this is why despite having quite sloppy housekeeping standards, I have never actually given anyone food poisoning. Touch wood.

AMonthOfSundaes · 08/06/2023 19:53

The dishwasher thing wouldn't bother me at all.

"Pecking order" 😂😂😂

georgianwindow · 08/06/2023 19:55

As for the actual topic at hand...

Personally if it was my own dog I wouldn't care but I do care about other people's. My own dog is relatively clean, has very good dental hygiene, doesn't lick his arse, doesn't eat poo off the floor, isn't slobbery. I'll let him lick my plate when I'm done and have no issues eating off it after it's been cleaned. DH will share yoghurt with the dog and actively use the same spoon.

MILs dog has rotten teeth, gum disease, the worst breath of earth, and is all around a bit gross (love him but he is). I'd never eat off of a plate he had licked. Same for anyone else's dog.
It's a bit like me not minding sharing a fork with my only child, I wouldn't do it with anyone else's.

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