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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to continue with the cleaner?

11 replies

Anotherstoryclose · 08/06/2023 18:06

I was pretty unwell, and in the early stages of pregnancy just before Christmas last year. We then had a toddler birthday and of course Christmas and it felt as if the house hadn’t fully recovered from either. I saw a cleaner advertising a spot and suggested to DH it might be a good idea and he agreed.

At first things were okay, although it is fair to say she’s never been massively reliable but in itself that isn’t a big deal. As the months have gone by though she’s become increasingly erratic, she keeps rearranging at really short notice and turning up at odd times that often really don’t work well. There are also small things that on their own I don’t mind and would even be quite funny, such as her turning the oven off when I was making lunch which in genuine isolation are not a problem but when you put them all together it’s a complete pain.

For the last couple of weeks when she’s tried to rearrange I’ve just politely cancelled for that week. I keep raising it with DH and saying it’s just turning into more hassle than it is worth. The problem is because he’s not directly affected by it he wants to keep her on.

I am due to go on maternity leave soon and I honestly think the money would be better spent elsewhere. But DH thinks we should keep her for when the baby is here (c section looks likely) and while I see his point I don’t want to be frantically tidying with two hours’ notice as she rearranges.

So I suppose … AIBU that I am right? Grin

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 08/06/2023 18:07

Can you cancel and get a better cleaner? I would be loathe to give up having a cleaner but we've always been lucky to have reliable cleaners.

MouseRoar · 08/06/2023 18:08

How about hiring a different cleaner...she sounds like she adds stress, rather than alleviating it

evuscha · 08/06/2023 18:11

A good cleaner can be amazing (I have one, she’s a lifesaver! Money well spent for sure) so I think you just need to find a new one 🤷‍♀️

Nordicrain · 08/06/2023 18:11

I've had cleaners for years and in my experience this is what happens for many - after a while they start trying to change the days/ times all the time. With my current cleaner I kept agreeing and feeling annoyed and then finally said no to a request to change the day. Turns out it was other people asking if she could swap days for them, but when I said that I needed my day to be firm she was fine and - for now - hasn't asked again. It might just be that your cleaner thinks you don't mind so asks.

Anyway, I would tell her you need to know day/ time and really can't rearrange anymore. If she can't work around that you will need to look for someone else.

NutellaNut · 08/06/2023 18:13

I’m surprised she had to advertise an open slot. Most cleaners around my way have a waiting list as long as your arm. Maybe her unreliability is the reason why? You’re certainly not being unreasonable in letting her go. Why not ask around for recommendations and get on the waiting list for another cleaner.

FawnDrench · 08/06/2023 18:14

You are paying her to provide a service at your convenience, not hers.
Find someone else who is (hopefully) reliable.

Anotherstoryclose · 08/06/2023 18:22

I don’t honestly want another cleaner, I don’t think. Even if they were brilliant it’s such a stress getting everything tidy so they can actually clean!

OP posts:
evuscha · 08/06/2023 18:24

If you don’t want a cleaner that’s fair enough too!

OctaviaPole · 08/06/2023 18:41

I know what you mean in terms of it being more trouble than they're worth. I've tried several cleaners over the years. They couldn't follow instructions, couldn't stick to their time, left early or simply were crap at cleaning. Despite having three kids, lots of pets and working full time I gave up and just do it myself.

If your DH still wants one, get him to do all the tidying up.

skyblueblue · 08/06/2023 18:50

My cleaner tidied up, cleans and makes perfect bed (hotel standard)

She is lovely and a lifesaver

For your situation, the best solution probably is to find a better cleaner.

fizzyfood · 08/06/2023 19:00

I'd cancel and ask for a recommendation from a friend or colleague for a new cleaner, set aside an hour the night before she comes to tidy up, your partner could look after the little one while you do it or vice versa. A good cleaner might be fully booked so you could go on a waiting list and by the time she has a slot, you might want one.

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