Would you cancel?

[Iamanon55]

So, I have a good group of girlfriends who met when the kids were babies. We don't see as much of each other now the kids are older and we have a weekend away planned in July. I am very insecure and have always compared myself and my family to others and I know that all the chat will be about the kids going to their Year 11 leaving party and their summer plans. My DD won't be going to the party as she's struggled with friendships in the last few years and has really struggled with her mental health. We're trying to help her through this but I feel her hurt. I love being with my girlfriends but I feel that I will struggle with the chat. Do you think I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face or would you make your excuses?

I think if you want to help your daughter you need to set an example of going away with your friends.
How can you help her make friends when you are basically avoiding the very thing you say she has a problem with.
If they are good friends then you can speak to them about your daughter and see if they can offer some help or advice.
Go on your weekend away and have a great time.

I agree with @Thedogscollar . You need to go. Your friends will be able to offer you (and your DD through their DC) support. If you decide not to go you need to make sure your DD never knows the reason why you didn’t go.

Do they know about her struggles? Maybe they would provide a good listening ear?

I completely agree with this. Maybe even briefly share with your daughter your own experiences with insecurities and how that puts you off wanting to do something like this, but you realise yourself that insecurities can often talk you out of what may be very fun and fulfilling moments with loved ones.
My nieces had issues with friendships a while ago and i shared with them issues I had with a friend myself at the same time (very vaguely based on what's age appropriate to say) but I shared my experience to help them get courage to realises when a bad friendship wasn't right for them. They really did take on board what I said because I related it to my own experience and they saw that when I had trouble, I had to face it head on despite how upset it made me, and that helped them realise they could too in that moment..
Sometimes the young people in our life need to see we're only human too, and how we face adversities either through external scenarios or our internal thoughts and anxieties. And how we face them head on despite how much we want to talk ourselves out of it, because usually nothing is ever as bad as we imagine it will be with our anxious mindsets...

My dc has additional needs - my
problems are not that a parent of a NT have to deal with - sometimes I put it on the back burner sometimes they just listen .

if they are good friends they will just listen and support

If thses are good friends then you just say "My DD won't be going to the party as she's struggled with friendships in the last few years and has really struggled with her mental health.".

I'm surprised they don't know that already.

I agree totally with @Thedogscollar

Just be honest with them, you never know they might be able to help or offer advice. I remember meeting up with friends and one of the girls just blurted out that she was having trouble with her son and got a bit upset. Turned out my nephew was having the same trouble so I could tell her how my sister dealt with it. You never know what family experiences other people have. they are your friends and they love you. Just allow yourself to be a little vulnerable and I bet you will be glad you did.