When your life fell apart, what did you do?

[ThePriceOfSugar]

In the span of a week, my beautiful life has collapsed. I was laid off on Thursday, which gives me 60 days to wrap up my whole existence and leave the country, since I can't seek new employment on my visa.

On Saturday, my phone and debit card were stolen in an organised theft in a club. Locked out of all my accounts.

On Monday, one of my close group of 4 friends left the group suddenly because of a strange grudge she had been holding and not talking about.

I am reeling and still feeling panic. A week ago, I was the happiest and most grateful and content I'd been in my life. The humiliation, isolation and grief are just overwhelming.

How do I cope with this? I know the horror can't last forever, but I feel destroyed. Has anyone on MN triumphed through something like this?

😢

Lean on the other three friends where necessary, rather than focusing on the friend who has fallen out with you. What can be done practically to allow you access to your necessary bank accounts etc, even if it's only to close them? Where are you moving to -- can you move back to your home country, or is that still up in the air?

Sympathies, OP -- this all sounds utter shit. It sounds wafty and mad, but focus on your breathing. I tend to hold my breath when upset, and it makes me feel more panicky and disconnected. You will get through this.

Yes! Have had similar. Ran a business with my husband and was totally in love with him and happy. In the space of a week, found out he had 2 (!) other women, one with a baby on the way. Then the business was seized by the police as he had sourced fraudulent investment without me knowing. Lost my marriage, job and friends as they didn't believe I wasn't involved in the fraud.

Best advice was just to focus on getting through day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute if needed. Life WILL become good again. Take you time to grieve the big loss.

The accounts will get sorted sooner rather than later
Take solace in the shared loss with your remaining few friends
New adventure when it comes to the job. This isn't your failing, it happens to the best of us.

one tiny step at a time, focus on the tiny steps, don't think about the big picture. Just do what you can to fix each problem systematically.

Retreat
Re-assess
Repair
Return

Thank you for the stories and advice. I have been making tiny progress against the main problems-getting a new phone, understanding how to apply for a slightly longer visitor visa so I have more time. It feels like drops in an ocean of fear though. Trying not to drink too much, sleep is the only thing that helps.

When you’re in the midst of a part of life that’s churning your insides and causing anxiety I’d say breathe and take steps each day

Focus on the small and get through each day solving a small part

Goodness OP, that is an incredibly tough set of cards you've been dealt. No wonder you're reeling.

Something that has helped me when I've been having a very tough time is to ask myself, "Do I think I'll still feel as upset about this in five years time as I do today?" It has helped me to remember that there are very, very few things in life that are completely beyond any remedy or recovery, and time softens almost every knock - even when the here and now are undeniably shit.

Saw this earlier
Sorry to hear this OP
It will get better

twitter.com/bookchat_/status/576856262954000384?s=46

I’m so sorry this is happening. Totally different disasters but in the last week my life has totally collapsed too in many ways that we’re totally out if my control. Sending you lots of hugs and sympathy.