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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photos of DC on school website

33 replies

Poppetsss · 08/06/2023 14:28

Nursery, school, activities have all asked for consent to use pictures as is the usual, in the past. We've said they can use them in certain contexts (internal but not external). DC does an activity, let's say ballet and is in booklets for shows with the rest of the class in a group photo and they're sold to family only at the moment as far as I understand. We have always said that they cannot use DC for prospectuses or on their website. This is the same for school.

I was on the school website today looking for something and found loads of pictures of DC on there. The consent form was very clear. We don't share pictures of DC online anymore and haven't for a few years now, we only share pictures with certain people in our lives if they ask (eg. PILs who are in another country and we know don't like sharing family on SM).

A family member has said they don't see my issue at all.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Tdcp · 08/06/2023 14:31

YANBU, there are a lot of reasons why a child's picture shouldn't be circulated. If you have specified that they are not be shared then the school needs to honour that. It could be anything from preference to a safe guarding issue.

ShanghaiDiva · 08/06/2023 14:32

You are not being unreasonable as you did not provide consent.

TeenDivided · 08/06/2023 14:35

Yanbu. If this is their public website not a password one for parents.

Go and talk to the school office. Check your permissions form. If they have broken permissions then
Inform them verbally, email school main admin and request pictures are removed or blocked out, ask how this has happened repeatedly and for a review of procedures to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Allhailkingcharlie · 08/06/2023 14:36

Doesn't matter if anyone thinks you're being unreasonable or not. If those are your wishes then school should adhere to them. At the school I work with, staff have access to this information before anything is posted. In that sense, no you are not being unreasonable

Needmorelego · 08/06/2023 14:36

If you said no on the consent form then they need to remove the pictures.
Arrange a meeting with the Head/Safeguarding Lead/Teacher to ask to see the copy of your consent.

BellaJuno · 08/06/2023 14:38

Flag it to the school, something has gone wrong with their safeguarding procedures if they’ve not checked against the consent forms before using the photos.

MichelleScarn · 08/06/2023 14:43

How old are dc? Similar thread recently where the dm didn't want photos shared but dc at 16 wanted to be in the team photos. Was interesting to see different opinions as to whose wish should be upheld!

Blueskysunflower · 08/06/2023 14:44

They’ve made a mistake, perfectly reasonable to contact school, point out they don’t have your consent for using photos in that way and ask them to take them down and review how it happened to ensure it doesn’t happen again - could be an oversight, could be someone ticked the wrong box entering paper form into a database, could be a staff member who needs training…. It is harder for schools when some parents don’t consent for this kind of thing, but ultimately that’s just tough! You have the right not to allow it and you don’t have to have what someone else considers a valid reason - I make very different choices about my children’s image on school websites etc but I can appreciate why you would take the stance you do.

Dowhatshard · 08/06/2023 14:44

Our school has password protection on photos. I think if the children have full names on the photos that is an issue and I would be unhappy. A first name should always be sufficient. So password protected gets you to see Katie from yr 3 at the swimming gala.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 08/06/2023 14:46

The school has clearly made a mistake.
What MN or your family member think is irrelevant.

Eleganz · 08/06/2023 14:50

Talk to the school and get them to remove the pictures. Even if you made a mistake with the form (unlikely from what you have said) the you can withdraw consent at any time anyway.

I suspect that someone has not checked details of the consent forms before using the pictures and that needs to be highlighted and corrected.

What your relative thinks is irrelevant, this is how the law works in this area.

steppemum · 08/06/2023 15:05

the school are actually i breach of GDPR here.

Doesn;t matter what anyone else thinks, they had a consent form, you were clear on it, they haven't followed it, therefore they are posting pictures without your consent.

I know of families who had had to do a midnight flight to escape a previous DV spouse when a photo on SM enabled them to be tracked down. Devastating for all involved, and potentially dangerous.
So schools have to be shit hot on this.

They have broken the law, and in this case it is annoying but probably not going to cause any problems. The next time it mihgt be life threatening.

tattygrl · 08/06/2023 15:15

It's important you do flag this with the school. Photography and publishing consent needs to be taken very seriously. It's a safeguarding risk for many people, especially vulnerable children; for example, if a child is in a fostering placement with a background of trauma and needs to be kept safely away from abusive adults. If the school is this lax with putting up photos without double checking consent forms, that's a major issue.

TidyDancer · 08/06/2023 15:21

MichelleScarn · 08/06/2023 14:43

How old are dc? Similar thread recently where the dm didn't want photos shared but dc at 16 wanted to be in the team photos. Was interesting to see different opinions as to whose wish should be upheld!

I was all set to say YANBU but actually this is an important point I think. If DCs are older then it's their wishes that are paramount and not yours imo (not withstanding issues around DV hiding etc).

Mbop · 08/06/2023 15:57

This is a breach and you need to report it immediately to the school.

Starlightstarbright1 · 08/06/2023 16:00

Have you spoken to the school or just posted online .

my D’s wasn’t allowed photos at school for safety reasons . One was posted I emailed school - they apologised and removed it .

sometimes there is too much drama posted on Sm

BaconMassive · 08/06/2023 16:01

Exactly, just message the school and ask them to remove.

Didtheythough · 08/06/2023 16:24

Of course YANBU. What is the point of consent forms if they don't abide by them. I'm sure it's just a mistake and they'll be very apologetic when you tell them, but YANBU at all.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 08/06/2023 19:14

So so pleased to see not one single post criticising a parent exercising their legal right to not have their children online. Usually it's a very different response so this is refreshing!!

Bringabrolly · 08/06/2023 19:23

AlfietheSchnauzer · 08/06/2023 19:14

So so pleased to see not one single post criticising a parent exercising their legal right to not have their children online. Usually it's a very different response so this is refreshing!!

Well I’ll be that person. Some people have very valid reasons not to want pics if their child online - if the child was adopted and there are safeguarding concerns.

Everyone else is being ludicrously melodramatic drama llamas.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 08/06/2023 19:25

YANBU. Definitely ask them to remove

FunnyFox · 08/06/2023 19:30

Agree with Bringabrolly. Yes your wishes should be respected but what exactly is the problem with a child's pic appearing online? I've always wondered why people get so bent out of shape about this.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 08/06/2023 19:34

FunnyFox · 08/06/2023 19:30

Agree with Bringabrolly. Yes your wishes should be respected but what exactly is the problem with a child's pic appearing online? I've always wondered why people get so bent out of shape about this.

Probably because it could end up in the hands of a creepy peadophile, or the fact that children can't consent to having their photos online. Understandable.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 08/06/2023 19:45

@Bringabrolly Says who? You have ZERO right to dictate nor 'announce' what other people do with their children's privacy. Grow up!!!

FunnyFox · 08/06/2023 19:49

AlfietheSchnauzer · 08/06/2023 19:45

@Bringabrolly Says who? You have ZERO right to dictate nor 'announce' what other people do with their children's privacy. Grow up!!!

Oh cool down.