To expect 18yo DD to be in on time and call me

[OhFGSwhatTFnow]

She’s out on a date with a bloke she met in a club a couple of weeks ago. Driven to meet him in our home town and then going for something to eat.

All I ask is that if she’s going to be later than 11 she messages to let me know and give me an idea where she is and roughly when she’ll be back.

Nearly midnight…not heard a thing. Tried to contact her by phone, text, WhatsApp and Snapchat…nothing. Phone is going straight to voicemail.

I’ve had a monumentally stressful week which she’s well aware of and I’m climbing the fucking walls…

Obviously she’s technically an adult and she’ll be off to uni in September but surely I’m not BU?

I’d be worried too but it’s almost certain she’s having fun and stayed out for a drink and doesn’t want a call from mum to cramp her style.

Sorry you’ve had a shit week. Teenagers can be right self centred feckers.

YABU

I'm the biggest smother ever but all I asked for was a text if staying out all night.

I’m not in the slightest bit bothered about her being out late nor do I smother her.

Shes out for the first time with a bloke she’s just met who is twice her size, there are no mutual friends and not only is she an hour late, she is unreachable.

She drives herself up to Londonregularly and goes clubbing with friends/cousins until the small hours, goes to gigs on her own and is taking herself off to Italy on her own next month…I am far from clingy.

In which case all she needs to do is drop a message…’date going well so staying on at x bar’

It’s the phone off that’s bothering me. If she wants to stay out all night that’s fine just have a bit of bloody consideration

I get you- my DS is 21 and lives at home still. Just a text makes you feel better! If 50+ DH was out later than expected I would expect a message so YANBU. There isn't much you can do though- DS went out on his birthday rolled in at 2.45am we bumped into each other on the landing- I don't know who was more surprised. He not yet done the out all night thing.. I was a horror from 16ish so I'm grateful he is usually very considerate- my poor mother back in the day. I would go out (not to Sharon's to revise!) and roll in whenever.
Fingers crossed she is having a great time and hasn't thought to update you.

Could she be somewhere with no signal? I’ve noticed a lot of hipster underground bars have this problem!

Hope she gets in touch soon OP.

Does she normally turn her phone off or is it always on and in her hand?

Could be no signal or ran out of charge. Hope she lands home or gets in touch soon. I’ve had all this with DD tbh it’s easier now she’s at uni!

Sorry my post seems flippant now- although agree getting a signal is a problem sometime - I hope you get an update soon. I'm Beverly Goldberg sometimes but try not to be.

No signal is probably the reason. It was why ds1 was incommunicado until 3pm the next day after going out to celebrate with friends one NYE (he was 17). I had him dead in a ditch, but he had actually gone on to an after party in one of the villages with no signal. Dh kept me sane. I clearly remember haranguing dh as to when he thought the appropriate time would be to start worrying!

Hope you hear, or she is back, soon. I found that I worried about them far more when they lived at home and I knew they were out, than when they were away at uni and I didn’t have a clue what they were up to.

Just rolled in…allegedly sent me a text at 10.50 which still hasn’t arrived.
Anyway she’s back.

@ThelmaDinkley i can’t bloody wait for September in some ways.

My mum was wildly overprotective so I try so hard not to be like that and I’m actually very confident in DDs abilities. It’s only really when there’s a fella concerned I really worry.

Probably read too much crime fiction

And….relax!

Anyone under my roof has find friends on and checks in if they’re not coming home. We put it on when kids were little and they’ve left it on. I check it rarely (uni ds was sofa surfing for months and I never noticed 🤦🏻‍♀️) but it’s invaluable.

I would explain this one as adults who live together let one another know about expected return times and changes of plans because it is courteous and helps prevent worry. While you are less likely to have a night out in quite the same way, if you are out late, you will do her the same courtesy of a pre-normal bedtime update so she doesn’t have to worry about you.

She’s actually just come in and apologised as having put her phone on charge realises the message didn’t send as her battery was so low.

Her best mate had also messaged twice to check everything was ok and given her a bollocking for not having her phone charged properly!

Pleased she’s home OP!

But FFS she needs to go out with a fully charged phone and a portable charging Whatsit when off on dates with strange men!

Glad she's home. This thread brought back horrible memories though fortunately nothing bad ever happened

Glad she’s back ok OP.

She should text you. Its a sign of respect.