How to say no (massive introvert!)

[daisychain29]

Sooo I'm a massive introvert and I really struggle saying no to people or letting anybody down.

I was asked to do a job at work which involves a few days travel (I said I was available originally because I was told it was 1day). Anyway, I've recently found out I'm pregnant and I'm not up for the long hours on my feet and travel in these early weeks, feeling tired and sick etc.

I've said I don't think I can do it now and they're really pressurising me saying 'we really would like you to go with your skills' etc.

I really don't want to go and it's causing me a lot of anxiety. It's not mandatory either. AIBU because I originally said I was available?

How can I say no politely without angering anybody?

Due to health related issues, I am no longer available to travel for my role. Thank you for the opportunity.

Could you say that a change in your personal circumstances means you are no longer free to go. They shouldn't be pressurising you to go if you state clearly that your situation has changed and you are no longer able to take the time away from home.

The other possibility is to confide in your line manager (if you have one?) that you are in the early days of pregnancy and no longer feel able to attend. If you have trust in that manager to keep that confidential.

That's not what being an introvert is. You need to learn some assertiveness, some social skills, some self esteem

@midsomermurderess I have social skills, thank you very much!

I'm a massive introvert, also asd. I hate these things and have to go on two two nighters a year. It's part of my job, I can't opt out.

@Aquamarine1029 @RoseslnTheHospital thank you. I used a mixture of your responses and they were okay about it :-) x

But you do need to improve your social skills if you can't say no to things. It doesn't mean you're socially awkward or anything, but representing yourself properly is a really socially important skill.

However, it does frustrate me that you equate introvert with people pleaser. The two have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Is this job something that’s usually required in your role? If so I’d expect you to go if you can, not back out because you don’t like the idea of long hours ect.