Complete career change at 40

[LaChatelaine]

I work in finance and I earn £70k. DH is on slightly more. We have a few more years on the mortgage, maybe 5. We have a good life generally, but a life that DH wanted: 4 bed detached house just outside the m25, driveway with 2 cars.

I don't care much for things. I would have been just as happy in a small flat and using public transport.

The problem is I have my job. I really do. I would not kill myself but I fantasise how things would look if I didn't have to do this job even if it meant I died. At least my life insurance will pay off the damn house and DCs will be taken care of.

I've been studying and I have marketing qualifications as well. The issue is I have no work experience and I won't get on the same salary. One organisation that I approached suggested that I start as an apprentice!

I have been thinking of creating a portfolio by offering some services for free/cheap to small businesses while still in the day job. Then I will grow from there. Realistically I would be happy earning £35k although DH may not be as keen.

Can anyone suggest anything? Please be gentle. I have a lot of guilt about everything already.

Go for it. You sound unhappy in your current role, it’s never too old / late to do something different.

Don't feel guilty. Your happiness is all that counts. You should be happy too. You are important.

If your mortgage is nearly paid off, go for it. Life is too short. Can you afford to help your DC out a bit if they go to uni?

I envy you. I’d love to do something different, but have never been able to identify what.

I know exactly what I want to do but the problem is it will not pay as much. I forgot about kids uni...

If you are only 40 and are likely to have your mortgage paid off in a few years you're in a really good position. Could you sit down with your husband and discuss how unhappy you are, and that you would like a change. The lifestyle you describe is what he wants, but surely what you want is also relevant.

I am planning on retraining in a year or two (when I have saved enough to pay for the masters), and I will be about 40 then so I understand where you are coming from. The thoughts of working in a job you don't enjoy for decades to come is soul destroying.

As for your kids going to Uni, how long away is that? If it's more than 5 years you will have no mortgage so that will help. Also there are student loans they can avail of. Don't sacrifice your happiness for everyone else.

Go for it! I imagine you could manage fine on DH's salary plus you earning £20-30k especially if that was going to rise in future. I am a single parent and earn £50k and we have a really really nice life.

Life is too short to spend a hell of a lot of it, in a place you hate.
Would it put a lot of added stress onto your DH? If not, he should be supporting you to be happy.
When my DH wanted to swap roles of course i supported him, who wants their partner in a role they hate.

I completely understand the frustration in the short term, but if you retrain for something else, what are your prospects in that?

Can you do this other job as a side-hustle, to start with?

If you're naturally good, you'll quickly improve and build a profile for yourself

Go and chat to a life coach or executive coach

As everyone said, life is way too short to be stuck in a job you hate. That's no good for your family either

If you can find a way to start making changes, but in small steps, it will be more palatable for your family too. You could go to 4 days a week in the finance job maybe?

Just think how good you would be at a job you actually like!! You could earn wayyy more is my suspicion...

Good luck. go for it

Do you like hustling for work? I don't so will never go self-employed.

@blueshoes funnily enough, I really enjoyed the hustle for work. I know most don't but it was mostly enjoyable. Probably because I ended up getting most of what I wanted.

This is so exciting! Go for it!

As someone who hates working in marketing I would first consider what you dislike about your current job and what you like about it, then decide how to proceed.

I hate marketing because it's:

• fluffy
• has no barrier to entry, everyone and their dog think they can do marketing
• clients are a nightmare and always looking to get it done cheaper, because there's always some 20year old willing to do it cheaper
• people expect one marketer to be an expert on data, graphic designer, social media manager, SEO guru, paid media expert, and more
• work life balance can be awful, but that very much depends on where you work & your role
• no clear career progression

I earn around 50k working in marketing but I'm so unhappy I'm seriously considering a large paycut.

I career changed at 50, from a high stress IT manager role to a secondary computing teacher. I wish I’d done it earlier. Our mortgage is paid off and that makes a huge difference, no money worries. The stress is there but it’s different stress and the job satisfaction makes it worthwhile. Go for it.