My sister (19) came to visit for the birth of my baby but I ended up not going into labor before her flight back. She hugged me (F23) and my fiancé (M26) goodbye saying she loved us and would be back. Two days later I received a joint call from her and my other sister (21.) They told me they had something important to tell me and that I needed to sit down. My youngest sister asked if my fiance was home, and when I confirmed that he was, she said we can't tell you right now then. I was anxious at this point and practically screamed to be told right away what was going on. My youngest sister then told me that my fiancé had SAed her the last night of her visit. I remember asking her if she was ok and that I was so sorry and needed to hang up. I immediately confronted my fiance. I've replayed his response over in my mind millions of times. He looked concerned, a little amused and very calm only saying "what are you talking about?" He remained calm as I spiraled into hysterics but eventually the more upset and demanding I became, he got a little mad too. He said he swore on his mother and our baby that nothing had happened. He called my sister twice with no answer. He then told me step-by-step exactly what had happened that night. I tried to remember but my emotions were out of control and I wasn't able to think clearly. My fiance finally lost patience and left for the gym. Now that I had his side, I called my sister back to get to the bottom of it all. She began repeating what she had told me before and I stopped her telling her to tell me step-by-step, beginning-to-end exactly what had happened. It was then that the story changed a little. She said that he had tried to kiss her but she stopped him so he grabbed her and then left. "He grabbed you?" I asked. "He touched my breast!" she snapped. "I was right there 10 feet away in the bedroom," I finally said, "and it couldn't have been 2 minutes... Eleven at night, studio apartment, complete silence, paper walls..." "Well you had gone to shower and everything," she argued,"it wasn't just 2 minutes." (It wasn't until later that I remembered that I had showered early in the morning that day thinking I was going into labor.) I understood before calling her she would probably be upset and not want to tell me everything, but I was surprised to hear her talking with no reticence and possibly excitement? "I'm sorry," she told me, "I know this will have an impact." I was so confused and hung up on her. I knew she was partly lying, but it was her word against his, and I felt sure that something had happened... she couldn't possibly make an accusation out of nothing. My hysterics had brought on contractions and my baby was born shortly after. After 6 months of nightmares, numerous therapists, becoming dangerously skinny, and losing relationships I have finally been able to think about it all coherently. I can finally say that I believe my fiance; that he went to get his phone charger and as he walked by my sister he told her good night with a kiss on the cheek.
A little background:
My fiance of 5 years has never been accepted by my family because he is an illegal immigrant who doesn't speak English or meet my family's financial expectations. When my sister visited it was the first time he had met anyone in my family. He and I were having some serious trust issues around the time this all went down and it was worsened because I felt torn between him and my family. For a solid month I firmly believed that he had assaulted my sister and told him to leave our home. After therapy and some hindsight, I see how we were both wronged in this false accusation and how my own history of SA affected my distrust of my fiance. He is not perfect, but he has never stopped coming back trying to prove himself and is encouraging me in therapy and whatever else we need to improve our relationship. (I THINK IT'S SO F'D UP BTW THAT SHE KNEW WE WERE HAVING PROBLEMS AND THAT NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE HIM OVER HER.)
My youngest sister ran away from home with a guy 20+ years older than her because their relationship was also not accepted by my family. I related/empathized with her situation and became extremely invested in her during the entire year she left home leading up to her visit. She sent me a Merry Christmas text and a Happy New Years text before blocking me on everything when I didn't answer. For the record, I wasn't able to speak to anyone for a long time and didn't even tell my family when I was in the hospital for my baby's birth; it's not like I was ignoring her specifically or was mad at her; I actually believed her and was heartbroken. A couple weeks later her boyfriend texted me: "I do not know why you are doing what you are doing, whether it's for attention or something else entirely, but if you intend to have a positive relationship with (my sister) in the future, you should probably stop." Still not sure what that means. She has reconnected with some of our family because of this whole situation. Our sister(21) calls me sometimes and told me about 3 months ago that our youngest sister had made another r*pe accusation while visiting one of our cousins. it was determined to not be true for several reasons, and sealed the deal for me she is a liar, but my family still think the worst of my fiance. (I should mention that, like me, I suspect she was SAed as a child, and I do understood that my fiance and I are probably just the collateral damage of whatever trauma she's working through.)
What sparked me to make this post is the news that my sister and her old, rich boyfriend are set to have a big wedding and they even convinced some of our family to attend... meanwhile my life has been left in shambles. She is a glorified victim and I am the bad guy for staying with my fiance. I don't think I'm envious of her life- it's just not fair. She came to my home and hurt me and my family. I don't even know what the repercussions will be like for my baby being born by trauma induced labor. Not to mention my own nerves- to this day I startle and shake uncontrollably at sudden noises/ phone calls/ door knocks. To leave you all with an idea of the extent of the damage, while we were in the hospital I asked my doctor to help me unalive myself and give my baby for adoption.
Maybe it's petty, but I want justice. AIBU?