My line manager just called me “young lady”

[Withnailandeye]

I’m a director in an international real estate company, as is my line manager. Recently we moved some of his portfolios over to my management as he is focussing on business development and less on client facing professional work, all directed through our head of region (more senior than both of us) which was done amicably with everyone’s agreement/support.
This morning, having an informal discussion regarding progress on a client deal and he says “excellent, send me the document over to review and approve” to which I replied “thanks but I have delegated authority now for sign off so that won’t be necessary”.
He spun around to scowl at me and said “young lady I’ve been signing off this client for 20+ years”. I said “please do not speak to me in that way” I was going to continue to confirm I find it incredibly patronising but he rolled his eyes and walked off calling over his shoulder “we can discuss this in my office when you’ve calmed down” there were at least three other colleagues to witness this conversation.
AIBU to think this is a completely unacceptable exchange between two colleagues? I’m in my mid 30s, 12 years qualified, reasonably junior in the company directors but senior in my role, I absolutely do take offence at being called “young lady” because it feels like a scalding I got in school when I was a child.
I don’t particularly like this company and I have been considering leaving having been approached by other smaller firms so I wonder whether this might actually be the final straw and I just leave. My line manager has always tread a fine line with comments and remarks to members of the team and it’s really boring and inappropriate and it’s made me feel quite embarrassed. Right now I feel like walking into his office and just handing him my notice, make a complaint about him up the ladder and get the fuck out.
thoughts? Am I being precious? I know I’m being slightly dramatic, the handing my notice in isn’t impulsive though, I’ve been thinking of doing that for some time - maybe it’s the kick I need?

Some of the competitors are better (lower gender pay gap, better parental leave) than the yellow team, but maybe consider going client side as well OP. Your skills are in demand, that's the good news.

How is anyone voting YABU on this

Yes I’m with one you’ve mentioned. He’s well protected, he’s senior, he’s been there a long time. I suspect switching him to a BD role and away from client facing which is naturally a three line whip is because they know he’s a shit manager of people and because he brings in work. Realistically I don’t think I’ll change the game but I have decided I will be leaving once I find the right offer, and I will file a formal complaint to HR. I have at least one witness from today who has confirmed they will support my claim because she works in an entirely different part of the business and she feels supported by her line manager in not being disadvantaged by doing so.

I’m more cross now than I was earlier, I told my husband when I got home and he was incredulous. My LM has a daughter only two years younger than me working in a senior fee earning role in the capital, I can’t imagine he would be comfortable if someone spoke to her in that way.

So condescending and so arrogant to do this in front of other people. He sounds hideous and you have every, EVERY right to be angry. I work with some colleagues who occasionally make me grimace with their use of archaic terms but they are just a bit ignorant and take the criticism well. Sounds like this is different, he was 100% trying to put you in your place. Arsehole.

Don't feel bad for one iota of a second. You are doing the right thing calling it out.

I met with another firm today and they’ve made me an offer which I’ve accepted so paperwork pending, I’m absolutely thrilled to be handing in my notice and simultaneously my formal complaint.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and comments, I really appreciate them. This is of course the last in a long line of shit he’s thrown my way which I’ve always stupidly not tackled head on.

I can’t win against him. I tried to take him on for discrimination during my pregnancy some years ago and it almost broke me - the system is very much not in my favour when it comes to this employee because in corporate real estate, bluntly, he is much more valuable to them than I am.

All I can do is formally complain and give an honest exit interview, at this stage I’ve probs just got to look after my own mental well-being and it means just not being here. I’ve left my review on glass door as someone had kindly suggested.

Huge congrats. Honestly fuck em. There will be no women left at these firms soon.

You sound great! What you've done may feel small but it really does pave the way for women.

This sounds fantastic, congratulations on the new job!

If he’s been put to business development the minute there is a downturn he’ll be made redundant. Seen it happen a few times. May be worth biding your time.