He only wants sex…AIBU?

[Tiredmummy20]

So I’ve been with my partner for around 10 years. We have 3 children and I am a stay at home mum.
He is lucky to work short days at work and get good money, early finishes. Yet when he comes home he sits on his Pc while I run around like a headless chicken doing everything. Cooking, cleaning, sorting the children etc.
If he says anything it’s sexual and if we have a conversation he manages to turn it sexual, if I say anything to him regarding this he gets moody and says i never instigate seggs!

I feel so alone because of this, my feeling feel invalidated and nothing I say matters. Sex is the be all and end all!

So your servant with benefits and he isn't even being a parent....what does he bring to the relationship as part from money?

So you basically don’t converse unless it’s about sex? Seriously? If so, your husband is being a shit. I suppose I can understand why he’d expect you to do more of the housework, but doesn’t he want to interact with his children?!
When is the last time you went out together without the kids? Has it become a routine of you at home, Jim at work or on the PC?

Ugh. YANBU.

He has the situation he wants and you don't. Its going to be tricky turning this around because you're in a vulnerable position. With 3 kids you're subject to the benefits cap and its harder to find work because of childcare.

If you want to change things, stop doing everything for him and start looking for work, any work to start with.

Come on OP I know nothing makes me feel more in the mood for some sweet lovin than running about solo parenting and washing the pants while my man sits on his arse looking at a screen…
seriously, though, has he not make the connection that maybe if he treated you like an actual person, took to do with his children and had a non-seggsual (😂) conversation now and again he might be more likely to get lucky?

He doesn’t bring a lot, I can’t even have a grown up conversation. He literally turns everything to sex talk every minute of the day. Even if he’s had it that morning, he acts desperate and it’s so off putting.

I can appreciate I’m a stay at home mum and I do a lot around the house which I don’t mind that is my role. It’s the lack of interaction/interest in anything but sex.

I genuinely feel like he is an extra child.
I do love him but he doesn’t change no matter what I say or do.
Maybe it’s time to chop off the dead wood

Genuine question - when you say you love him, what do you mean by that? What do you love about him? He sounds awful.

It’s such a turn off when they behave like this! Also so so childish aswell isn’t it, like for fuck sake it’s just a fanny!!

Breezy I don’t think I can answer but I’ll try.

I love him because he is him, but I don’t think I am in love, if that makes sense.

He has caused a lot of damage in the relationship in the past, I had my warnings and I was blindly fighting for what I thought was love.
I tried to keep my family together for the sake of my children, however it’s all turning to resentment.

That classic tale of when he finally loves you, you don’t love him!

I need to be alone don’t I?!