Do you like other people's children?

[Irked]

Just that really. I struggle sometimes being around other people's children, either because of tantrums, arguments, different parenting styles/boundaries, different needs/demands/manners, etc. Not necessarily the fault of the children, but I don't find it easy being around other people's kids. Does everyone feel like this or is it just me? Anything to do to make it easier/more enjoyable?

I feel like sometimes it is assumed that if you have kids you must be a "kid-person" and like all kids (in the same way that if you have a cat everyone will give you cups or calendars with cats on them for Christmas because you are a "cat-person" and must therefore like all cats).

So are you a kid-person or do you only like your own?

YABU - all children are a delight in their own way and you should enjoy the wonder they bring to your world.

YANBU - I only like spending time with my own kids - other people's kids are hard work to be around.

I'm a foster parent. I didn't start fostering until my own kids were adults and had flown the nest so yes, I do like other people's children.

I was really surprised when DS started school, and I discovered what a delight all of his little friends were.

Other people’s toddlers are a fucking nightmare (grabbing stuff, tantrums, etc), but I find other people’s primary aged kids are almost universally sweet, polite, interesting little people who I like having over to play.

My son is autistic.

I totally get the struggle and the anxiety and the masking and the unusual reactions.

But some people are just piss poor parents and have done nothing to try to support their kids in behaving well and being polite and kind.

Do you routinely let him hurt other kids and damage people's belongings without so much as glancing up from your phone/drink/conversation? I can only speak for myself but that's what I was referring to when I blame "poor parenting". And I'll stand by it. It's not judgemental; it's a simple observation. Some parents are lazy and rude and their kids' behaviour is the result. If that's not you then you've no reason to be offended.

I worked in one of the “worst 100 schools in the country”. Apart from a very few, the kids were fine. I liked nearly all of them.

I don’t much care for spoilt children. It’s not material things, it’s a me-first attitude which is not appealing.

Being expected to play with other people’s dcs is traumatic. What’s wrong with a stiff, “And how is school, Pandora?” a la aunts of yesteryear?

I have posted about this before, but a long time ago a mum suggested we went for a walk with our young dcs. I imagined we would be chatting whilst the dcs gambolled ahead. Oh no. The mum performed the whole of We’re Going on a Bear Hunt, including wriggling on her stomach through grass and hanging from a tree branch. It was beyond awkward and I also looked like the least fun adult ever.

It depends entirely on the child. I can honestly say that amongst four close friends their children were great to be around and now as young adults it’s still great to see them. However one friend had an utterly obnoxious child and it honestly became a relief when that friendship fizzled out.

My DS10 has a friend who is lovely and I'd happily have him over any time!

He has another friend who is possibly the most annoying child on the planet. 😂

Yes, I’m very much a baby/children person

I think a lot on MN don’t like other peoples children, and find it weird that people do. Very sad

I don't agree with either of your options.

I do actually really like other people's kids, usually. (With a few exceptions!)

However, I don't think that you are being unreasonable for not liking them.

Tbf, I think this is a bit reactionary to the overwhelming assumption that you will generally be interested in children.

My best friend is a complete PITA now I'm pregnant. Sending me schmaltzy, mumsy articles. Encouraging me to come down to meet a mutual acquaintance's baby (I don't like the mum, fail to see why I need practice on a random child when I've met loads). She is basically acting as if I DON'T fall in line and undergo a complete personality change, there's something to worry about.

She's never seen me with the children I like and that like me, or with family babies. Most friends and family say that I'm very good with babies precisely because I don't coo and smush and overwhelm them.

So yeah, sometimes I get crabby. But for me it starts with people assuming women MUST fall in with smushy behaviour to be good.

Only well behaved children. Really can't stand naughty brattish and difficult children.