To contact someone who ghosted me?

[Sellmeout]

Had a bit of a (completely above board, both single) fling with a guy at an industry event last year. I had no romantic interest in him really, it was just a bit of fun.

We kept on and off in touch but both went back to our lives.

He reached out randomly a few weeks back and offered me an opportunity to speak at an event. The exposure would be career changing for me. He had nothing to benefit by offering it to me so there was no agenda other than professional.

I couldn’t commit at the time due to other work commitments, but said I’d be in his home town last week and did he want to grab a drink (career-wise, not fling-wise).

He didn’t reply and the trip came and went and I didn’t see him. I thought I was ghosted and then he added me on Linkedin a few days back and liked some posts.

My other work commitment the week of the event he offered me, just got cancelled and I really want to drop him a line to say I will take the opportunity he offered me if it’s still open.

I am all about holding my head high, not chasing (particularly men!) and reading the room, but in this case it’s SUCH a good opportunity that the career side of me wants to contact him.

How do I do this considering he ignored my message about meeting up, while still maintaining a shred of dignity?

He clearly wants to keep things professional, so I would do the same.

Possibly message him on Linkedin and explain your situation has opened up, but don't be overly friendly or suggest getting together.

Usually I would say NO WAY, but if it would be a good thing for your career then you should use his connections and go for it.

Yes definitely contact him 100%!
Don't even hesitate.
As pp said be professional.
A man would not think twice about doing this!
If he has booked someone else now then a light 'keep me in mind next time' reply is fine.
You've got nothing to lose!
Good luck

Yes, I’d contact him but make it clear it’s the professional opportunity you’re interested in. I think this sounds a bit more like a mismatch in communication styles and attitudes than ghosting: I doubt he’d see this as him having ghosted you, and more just how casual professional connections often are, things come up in other aspects of life and you forget about getting around to responding to that text / the ball drops on the lower priorities whilst you’re focussed on the high ones. I’ve certainly done it and it’s certainly happened to me - I have a former boss who will enthusiastically respond to a text I sent a month earlier as if it were sent yesterday and suggesting a date for meeting up!

Thanks all! I contacted him. He replied an said yes!

But then he went quiet when I asked him to confirm details.

I’ve chased up again and said I needed to know as I need to arrange some things if I’m going. It feels out of character to be so pushy but it’s too good an opportunity to miss.

Go for it! As others said keep it professional, I wouldn't have a problem with this at all, just put the fling out of your mind and treat it like a normal buisness relationship. It's a good opportunity so make sure you take it! He obviously thinks well enough of you professionaly too. Best of luck!