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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shocked by my managers attitude towards pregnancy

30 replies

Zingylimes · 06/06/2023 20:45

I recently asked my line manager for advice for a colleague who had a medical appointment. They have to log the absence on the HR system and I was asking the best code/ticket to put it under. As far as I’m concerned it’s a non issue.

My line manager immediately got annoyed about my direct report, saying that we need to take a harder approach to medical appointments. They then sent me several screenshots of a chat they had been having about another junior colleague. In the screenshots it is clear that she is pregnant and has been requesting time off for doctor appointments. My line manager said he was annoyed that she expects allowances to be made for her.

I am completely shocked that he has breached her confidentiality in this way as I had no idea she was pregnant. I see her regularly and she has no bump nor has she mentioned it. I am currently ttc and it’s really made me upset that he has been so unprofessional about it. I would be very angry if he told my colleagues I was pregnant and especially in this way.

I work for a large organisation with a good HR department, colleagues who have DC or been pregnant have always said how supportive the company has been and this has really shocked me. AIBU to think this is a big breach of confidentiality and highly unprofessional?

OP posts:
AngeloMysterioso · 06/06/2023 20:47

I’d be getting straight onto HR about that.

DeflatedAgain · 06/06/2023 20:47

She's pregnant, she can take as much time off as she needs for appointments. Wtf.

Can you report him?

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 06/06/2023 20:56

I’d report the absolute fuck out of him. We simply cannot have attitudes like this towards women in the workplace. Stamp it, and him, out.

EsmeSusanOgg · 06/06/2023 20:56

If she has told work she has pregnant (which clearly she has) she is entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments. So this boss has 1) breached her confidence and 2) is saying eh doesn't think he/ the company should abide by UK legislation in this area.

And he did it in writing! With screen shots!?

You need to send those messages to HR, and potentially his management chain. And ask some questions about the appropriateness of this on privacy, HSE, Equality, and general professionalism grounds. HR won't be happy, he's an employment tribunal waiting to happen.

billy1966 · 06/06/2023 20:57

That is shocking.

I would absolutely be reporting that to HR and I would be telling the woman involved, by email.

Unbelievably unprofessional and a huge breach of her privacy.

Hiddenvoice · 06/06/2023 21:00

Wow, I’d be going straight to hr. She has told him privately about the pregnancy. She is entitled to have time off for appointments. The fact that he is Shari g private messages is ridiculous.
I would be contacting hr and showing them copies of the messages. I wouldn’t address her yet until you’ve spoken to hr but I do believe she should know.

billy1966 · 06/06/2023 21:00

I would log with HR that on the back of this incident YOU now feel very unsafe.

Everything by email and copy as many people as you can.

Newnamenewname109870 · 06/06/2023 21:00

Even reading this post made me angry. Please report!

CandyLeBonBon · 06/06/2023 21:02

Clearly he doesn't understand employment law. Has he been living under a rock?

Original poster
Zingylimes · 06/06/2023 21:03

I didn’t respond at the time as I wasn’t sure if I was overreacting as I’m ttc myself, so wanted to get opinions! The junior colleague who is pregnant is very young and in the second year of the graduate scheme and I find it disgusting that they are treating her this way.

OP posts:
DeflatedAgain · 06/06/2023 21:04

What country are you based @Zingylimes?

SummerLover01 · 06/06/2023 21:05

You really need to report this to HR.

You don't need to do anything more than that, they'll completely take it from there.

Original poster
Zingylimes · 06/06/2023 21:11

I’m in the UK! I was vaguely aware of employment law around pregnancy as I’ve done a qualification around team management (my line manager hasn’t!) so I thought it didn’t sound right. They literally used the words ‘it should just be like any other doctor appointment’ in the screenshot, which of course is completely untrue.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 06/06/2023 21:14

I would forward the emails to HR.

Irridescantshimmmer · 06/06/2023 21:16

If all managers were like him, there would be no human race.

DeflatedAgain · 06/06/2023 21:17

Zingylimes · 06/06/2023 21:11

I’m in the UK! I was vaguely aware of employment law around pregnancy as I’ve done a qualification around team management (my line manager hasn’t!) so I thought it didn’t sound right. They literally used the words ‘it should just be like any other doctor appointment’ in the screenshot, which of course is completely untrue.

Nooo way. That's crazy. I get the vibe the male manager hasn't been in the role very long (either that or he's just stupid).

Report him and let HR take over. He'd be lucky she doesn't take it further.

HeiXiong · 06/06/2023 21:17

Definitely forward to HR with a concern that your manager has shared confidential medical information and may also be discriminating against a pregnant woman by not accommodating medical appointments

TheCreamTeaWasFromMe · 06/06/2023 21:18

You must report this - if you don't then you are complicit in this data breach.

Send a note to the manager saying that you have forwarded to HR because it's a data breach; the email contains private medical information which is not appropriate for you to see, and that you will be deleting the email. Then forward the original email from your manager to the HR team, tell them you have made the manager aware you have deleted it and then leave it for them to deal with.

abbs1 · 06/06/2023 21:23

OP you must speak to HR about this and repor him. When I was pregnant I had no HR to report to and I was hospitalised from 7 weeks due to hyperemesis. The owners of the company literally couldnt care less and they treated me like crap saying I was making it all up and that I couldn't be that sick even with Drs letters. I had no choice but to resign because of it as I was too unwell to fight it and take legal action and still regret not taking it further.

He's discriminating against her which is illegal under pregnancy law and also he has breached confidentiality. You need to feel safe in your work place.

OfficerPastiche · 06/06/2023 21:24

YANBU. Report!
Also in case anybody else has stupid ideas some mandatory training is in order...

sourcorn · 06/06/2023 21:26

Oh my goodness me no. It's protected in law.

They could be asked to try to schedule them for the start or end of the day if possible but that's very rare you can actually choose!

FatCatBum · 06/06/2023 21:32

EsmeSusanOgg · 06/06/2023 20:56

If she has told work she has pregnant (which clearly she has) she is entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments. So this boss has 1) breached her confidence and 2) is saying eh doesn't think he/ the company should abide by UK legislation in this area.

And he did it in writing! With screen shots!?

You need to send those messages to HR, and potentially his management chain. And ask some questions about the appropriateness of this on privacy, HSE, Equality, and general professionalism grounds. HR won't be happy, he's an employment tribunal waiting to happen.

For gods sake do not forward these messages to a whole load of people in his management chain as then you would be as guilty of breaking her confidentiality as he is. Have a word with HR about the issues in general

thecatsthecats · 06/06/2023 21:38

Just a warning that HR can be absolute cretins about this sort of thing too, so be prepared to whistleblow if they're crap too.

The HR woman at one place I worked at was in fact the only person who I've witnessed repeatedly raising pregnancy in an inappropriate way - a couple of times to me, and once when discussing candidates to hire, as well as dispensing the general opinion that "rights have gone too far the other way".

Rosscameasdoody · 06/06/2023 21:44

He’s breached confidentiality and is breaking the law regarding the medical appointments. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic, so it doesn’t matter if the employee has less than 2 years service, the protection is still there and they are entitled to paid time off for anti natal appointments. You need to take this directly to HR.

Thedogscollar · 06/06/2023 21:48

AngeloMysterioso · 06/06/2023 20:47

I’d be getting straight onto HR about that.

Absolutely do this he/she should be sacked for this breach of confidentiality.

When you are pregnant your medical appointments are not up for discussion, there are exemptions for pregnancy.

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