What do I do at my child’s party?

[Wearinggrinchpyjamasinjune]

Sounds ridiculous I know…I’m slightly socially anxious (manage to have friends, no idea how 🤣) but I’m not great at hosting etc and tend to avoid it.
My dc wants a proper party this year..they turn 4, previously we’ve had a small friends group or family.
We’re doing it in a big soft play/play place. We’ve been to many others parties before but now it’s our turn.
Its all my idea of hell and I’d almost rather poke my eyes out, but it’s to make dc happy so I know I have to get on with it.
Thankfully, all will be ready and done for us when we arrive, so that takes the stress away…but..what do we do? There’s no real hosting as such? Also no drinks to pass round or alcohol..do parents stand around chatting/watching the kids? As the hosts of it, what do we do?
I know it’s pathetic but really very hard for me

It sounds stupid but how do I even father everyone for the cake (there will be a lot of kids and people) and how do I make sure they all go by the time the owner of the play place comes back, do they lock any stragglers out 😂

*Gather, not father

Hi op I've felt like this before hosting my first party. I've a few under my belt now so hope I came help.

• you will be greeting parents initially and taking presents off them which you can set in party room.
• after this yes you can have some small chat with the parents who have stayed.
• get yourself a cup of tea and coffee and relax.
• you can check things in the party room.

Make sure the cakes set up

• you may go and check on the children playing

I have found the whole thing to be manic so it is over so fast and you don't have a minute to think about it. So just be pleasant and chatty, I like to ask how they are getting on at school etc as a good starter question.

Just smile and make people feel welcome.
you’ll still have bits to do, make sure food is ready, getting bits and pieces for kids, cake duty but mainly it’s just chatting with other parents.

1. arrive first, check in with the staff, make sure you know where the kids are supposed to put their shoes, where your party space is, and ask if there’s anything else they think you should know.
2. greet each family as they arrive, they’ll (probably) bring gifts so make sure you bring a box or bag to put them in. Just say thank you and either put it in the bag or point it out to them. Kids don’t usually open presents at the party, you’ll take that bag home.
3. answer any questions/point them towards where their shoes go. at age 4 I’d expect all parents to stay, if anybody asks if it’s ok to drop and run say no!
4. During the soft play bit chat to the other grown ups. Some people provide drinks for the grown ups, most don’t. Definitely have squash or water available for the kids.
5. if there’s a party tea/snacks bit make sure the kids are sitting down, then produce the cake and sing happy birthday. Then slice it up and distribute - easier if you line up a couple of friendly parents to help with pass it out.
6. when it’s time to go start setting up party bags (you don’t have to do them but it’s a useful “time to go” symbol!). Kids will flock towards you, you hand over the bag saying “thanks for coming!” And then their grown ups will take them away.
7. collect the gifts, any leftover party bags or cake, say thank you to the staff and go home.

You serve the cake directly after they children finish their food so they will already be seated, most play places do not allow them to go back and play after anyways as their allocated time for playing is over and now it's good time.

Make sure you've got a knife from the play place and loads of tissues and cut the cake ( look at YouTube on how to do this efficiently and quickly) get others to give the cake to the children whilst you cut.

A gang of 4-year-olds in a soft play and I imagine you’ll all be too busy marshalling pandemonium to have time to talk about much more than pleasantries in between darting about!

I’d expect that most parents, if you aren’t able to provide drinks for parents, will buy themselves a cup of tea and just mill around awkwardly. Just make small talk. Any really awkward moments you can “just go check on when the cake is being brought out” or set up the food.

do parents stand around chatting/watching the kids? As the hosts of it, what do we do?

Re the first question - basically yes, in my experience adults just chat while the kids play.

As the hosts, just make sure you welcome everyone when they arrive obviously, if people have bought a gift have a place ready for them to be left safely. I guess if you wanted to you could offer to buy people a cup of tea, but I wouldn't expect that if I was attending a soft play party (it's been a while though so maybe that's changed - others here will know). When it's time to eat, I'd identify a confident parent or two and ask them to let people know while you claim to be checking everything is ok in the food room/space. There's bound to be some mums and dads who will love going around and rounding kids up! You'll then just need to take charge of the cake and handing out party bags at the end.

If you haven't booked the whole place out as private, then watch out for other parents trying to sneak siblings in under the 'party' so the centre ends up charging you for extras.
Be very clear with centre - name not on the list = you aren't paying.

Party bags at the end signals time to go.

Cut the cake at the same time as food, preferably as the first child is getting restless, hand out at the end.
Staff should do the kicking out for you (and calling kids for food). Just stand at the door with cake or party bags.
If you can afford a cup tea/coffee for parents that's appreciated but not needed.

Who are the kids op - assuming it's nursery or playgroup if your DC is only just turning 4. You may find the parents know each other and will naturally chat or fall into groups so you can just flit between them.

Are there any parents who are your own friends/family; could you rope them in to help?

I'm assuming there will be staff onhand; do you have the softplay centre to yourself or will there be other groups there? The last softplay party I went to, one of the staff came out and called the kids when the food was ready, and then gave a 5 minute warning at the end to make sure everyone was out in time. We weren't kicked out then though, there was time given for everyone to get shoes on, get presents out to the car etc before they shut the doors.

Usually there's a separate party room for the food to be set up in, is that how it works at your place? You put the cake and anything else you're bringing in there.

Some places will reserve an area of seating for party guests. Check if this applies to you and if so know where it is.

Wait at the entrance with your list of people, say hi when they arrive, show them the reserved area if there is one. Collect up presents and put them in the party room.

Kids play, parents sit around and chat, buy their own teas and coffees.

Soft play place will announce that play time is over and everyone should go into the party room for food and snacks.

10 minutes before then end you clap your hands together and say "time to sing happy birthday now", sing, blow out candles.

That's the universal sign for parents to start collecting up their kids. You cut up the cake, give each kid a party bag and a slice of cake.

Guests leave, you collect up all the parcels, go home and have a stiff drink.

Good luck. I also hate hosting kids parties.

Thanks everyone,

So all kids food is being provided by them, basically we’re all in…do we get the food and lay it out (I’ll have to ask the owner)
As part of the package, you can pay for food for adults, but it’s very expensive, we are able to bring snacks and drinks for parents-what would you bring? Crisps etc 🤷🏻‍♀️
There’s nowhere to buy coffee, but there is full kitchen etc, I imagine it being too fussy to make coffees, hence me bringing diff drinks, water, juices etc for adults?
Is two hours enough?
With regards to kids eating, I’m not sure they’ll be enough chairs for them all, looking at previous pictures, it seems to be buffet style really

2 hours is plenty.

OP I would ring or visit the venue and ask them to answer all these questions and walk you through it. Some places are really well organised and you literally don't have to do anything except welcome parents. They will often round up kids for food and serve it up and clear away. You usually present and cut the cake yourself, you borrow knife from the venue but take candles.

Other places are less organised and you need to be more involved in sorting stuff out when you're there.

I usually welcome parents by just saying "Hello, are you here for Gertrude's party? I'm Jean, Gertrude mum, thanks for coming. She's playing over there somewhere, do u want to go and find her?" Then direct parents to seating area/drinks etc.

Drinks are always appreciated by parents and biscuits can be a nice surprise but in my experience food for adults is absolutely never expected or required.

Don't stress, the kids will have a great time, the parents will stand around chatting and people will likely take very little notice of you except to say hi and bye!

And for a 4 year old party I would go for 90 mins tbh. They will have had anough by then and so will the parents (and you!). 2 hours at the absolute max.

The party I went to, they had a table set out in a reserved area with jugs of squash and water. The food was basically a lunchbox with sandwich, crisps, choc bar, drink etc and you could choose cheese/ham/jam. If you're getting a buffet or whatever I'd expect the staff to have it laid out on the table for the kids.

If there's no cafe I'd take tea/coffee/soft drinks and some crisps/cheese straws etc for parents. I wouldn't expect to eat at a kids party but a drink is always good.

As they are finishing food you bring the cake out.
Venue should lay food out and offer to cut cake to put in party bags. When it’s time to go you shout ‘time for parry bags’ and hand them out and they will then leave. Venue’s job to kick out stragglers.

Is it a proper softplay place that's open to the public or a hall with equipment in it? I've never heard of a softplay place that does parties having a kitchen for you to use if they do their own catering

I agree with PP I'd speak to the owner as they're the only ones that will be able to answer a lot of these questions.

Thanks everyone,

it’s a private place hired out, so only for parties, not open to the public to come

Just messaged the owner, she says all kids food will be laid out and they can eat as and when, I will bring for parents and put on a separate table. Not sure how I’d bring/do coffee and tea though 🤷🏻‍♀️So I think just soft drinks and juices, water etc

You can get a carafe of coffee with disposable cups, milk pots, sugars etc to go from any coffee shop. Most of the carafes are now in cardboard so no need to return. I would do that with some bottled waters and a few biccies. More than enough for them. Most parents will have a slice of cake too if there is enough to share.

I think it's really sweet you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone for your DD. I did not enjoy doing these either, but they had the BEST time, so you will be really happy you did it, and proud of yourself. Sounds like the play place is going to make it super easy on you too!

We did papercups for adults with make your own tea and coffee - used flasks for hot water

Oh it's much easier when it's private. Yes, stand around chatting and consider if you want to be responsible for anyone else's kid (someone will inevitably want to drop and run). Eat after about an hour, get the cake out after they're nearly done eating, sing happy birthday, put cakes in party bags, thank you and goodbye.

Take presents to open at home. Make a list of who gave what. Have a glass of wine and congratulate yourself

You can get a carafe of coffee with disposable cups, milk pots, sugars etc to go from any coffee shop. Most of the carafes are now in cardboard so no need to return. I would do that with some bottled waters and a few biccies. More than enough for them. Most parents will have a slice of cake too if there is enough to share.

Completely off-topic but @StellaLaBella thanks so much for sharing this really useful information, I had no idea.

OP I agree you are very brave and lovely to do this for your DD’s benefit, I would have had the same qualms if mine had asked for this kind of party

I lost track of my DS in a soft play when he was 3. Adopted, not long been with us. I was getting frantic. DH had struggled up the slide bit to see if DS was stuck up there, I had gone through the ball pit in case he had fallen over in there. I was just at the point of going to the front desk to say I had lost him, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted him. Sitting at a party table tucking in. I was soooooo embarrassed. I extracted him, still clutching a mini sausage in one hand and a sandwich in the other.