I cannot loose weight! So fed up with myself

[AnxietyLevelMax]

I let myself go long long time ago and since then i cannot get back on track. I am healthy person (no thyroid issues or other underlying conditions).
i am 33 and its soooo hard comparing to loosing weight when i was 20.
i am a busy mom, most of you probably know what i mean. Not much time to myself. I hate exercises and just cant do gym, jogging etc. walks plus yoga is my plan to stay in more or less good condition. Starting this slowly at the moment.
i really have rather good, balanced diet. Could be better but i dont eat late, have plenty of veggies, have things like steamed or baked chicken more than ever fried. I could go on and on but its really not the worst diet.
i am trying from beginning of this year and nothing. Sometimes 2 kgs down but then eventually up.
i am in no rush at all. I have 15 kgs to loose. Should be pretty easy till end of the year.
what am i doing wrong?!

90% diet, 10% exercise. In a very brief nutshell.

Most people lie to themselves about what they’re eating. It might be good, but portion size might be too much for how much exercise you are or are not doing.

Calculate your basal metabolic rate, and log your intake of food. If you don’t want to exercise, you have to be strict with your food if you want to lose weight. That doesn’t mean starving yourself, it means understanding nutrition and making sure you’re actually not taking on more than you’re putting out.

And please don’t rely on Slimming World or the like, they teach nothing of nutrition. It’s deeply unhealthy and totally unsustainable.

I was in a similar situation OP.
There’s a lot on here about calories in and out, but the only time I ever lost weight that way (plus exercise) was when I ate like a sparrow and I really felt I was eating so little that it wasn’t healthy.
Only thing that worked for me was keto - a friendly, healthy form of keto that actually had me eating more veg and leafy foods and staying away from as much processed meat as possible. No weighing anything, just a pure lifestyle change.
Still on it and feel great with my weight. (5’2, size 8-10).

I suggest Myfitnesspal app, to track your diet and exercise. I realised my diet was less healthy than I had thought

For most people, it's all about calories in / out. Simple, but not easy

Find an exercise that you like

Develop new routines slowly and stick to them

Some people swear by intermittent fasting. I think it's a gimmick. People are getting rich by telling us to skip breakfast! Really, it's just another way to eat less

Everyone hates exercise when they start. Well, 99% of people, anyway.

All those people you see running endless miles first thing in the morning? Most of them used to be sedentary and hated running to start with. In my running club, most of us were unfit and overweight. Hated exercise, but then did c25k and never stopped running.
It's about discipline, and over time it becomes a habit. Then you might eventually start to enjoy it - or at least you enjoy the effect exercise has on your mental and physical health, which is huge. Hence why you then keep going.

You're not going to lose weight while eating too many calories and doing no exercise. But you know that. A lifestyle shift - eating less and moving more - is the only thing that works long term, and it's hard at first, but worth it. That means accepting that you hate exercise and you're busy, but you're going to do it anyway...

Intermittent fasting works brilliantly for me. It’s just a technique to reduce calorie intake. Can’t see how anyone makes money from me but eating til lunchtime.

Healthy Meals on smaller plates /cut out the upf snacks minimise sugar and booze during the week up the exercise. Lost 2 stone and kept off though relaxed for a year hit the biscuit tin one stone back on so reverted to my earlier good habits…Aging sucks I got away with anything til I hit 40

agree with @fellrunner85 I didn’t particularly want to get up this morning at 5am and go for a run but I like being a healthy weight and having a healthy heart/body. I think murderous thoughts about my Nike app run guide whilst doing it but it’s 25 minutes and it’s over. Listening to music I like helps.

Also agree with tracking your calories. My Mum keeps complaining she can’t lose weight even though she eats healthily but she was eating over 2000 calories a day at 5ft3. She’s now eating about 1300 calories a day and losing weight steadily.

This all sounds yummy! I wish I could think of meals like this. I tend to just do random combinations of vegetables in the fridge like cabbage and beetroot on toast with hummus 🤣

Some people swear by intermittent fasting. I think it's a gimmick. People are getting rich by telling us to skip breakfast! Really, it's just another way to eat less

I intermittent fast and haven't given anyone any money for it. Yes it is really just another way to eat less but it's the only way which works for me. I cannot eat three meals a day and lose weight, ...once I start eating I cannot stop. I'm an all or nothing person.

Please don't eat 500 calories less than your BMR, this is what your body needs to perform the basic functions that keep you alive!
All you will achieve is misery and failure as it is not a sustainable way to lose weight.
Reduce what you are currently eating slightly, limit higher sugar foods and drinks, up your fruit and veg intake and try to move more.
You don't have to do anything drastic, yes it may take longer but I can guarantee you will sustain it far longer and avoid that 'fuck it' moment where you binge on everything in sight!

I highly recommend signing up to an App which has a Weight Loss programme. Think Krissy Cela, Move With Us, Kayla Istines Sweat.

They make it so straight forward, it’s healthy, it’s enjoyable, it works.

I started with ‘Move With Us’ and it changed my entire life with nutrition and health.

@Swannyb are any of those apps free?

thank you all for suggestions. What do you use to track calories?
I thought my portions are ok since I could eat twice as much. I dont go hungry neither I feel full, but will see how much calories I actually eat.
To answer some questions about alcohol and processed food - I dont drink, dont smoke, and have processed food maybe like once a month. Always cook from scratch to make sure my toddler gets all of the nutrition he needs. I dont drink fizzy drinks.

Obsessing with food and wanting to eat something nice is overtaking my life at the moment and it feels if I reach my weight i could just stop obsessing…

to the poster who asked about my walks- i used to do about 15 km when Ds was a baby in a pushchair. Really enjoy walks. But since i have no one to stay with him and he is at the age where fast, long walk isnt an option i stopped. DH is changing job in a week and will be home most of the days so I am hoping I will be able to pop out alone now

Tracking your food will be key. Weighing it out. Honestly it was mind blowing to me what a portion of oats to make overnight oats actually was. Much much less than I thought, but that paired with a big dollop of full fat Greek yoghurt and some berries and nuts keeps me full for a long time.

Stop dieting. Diets don’t work. Go to the AppStore and pay 7.99 for Thin by Paul McKenna. Use that app for 7 days and do exactly what he says. Also worth reading his book “I can make you Thin” You’re welcome!

And after that, join Les Mills - so much more fun than any other exercise, do their beginners 4 week program.

To lose 1.5lb per week you need to eat 500 cal less per day. Given your target over a year you could half that challenge.

You must have routines and habits. Is there something you eat every day that you could swap out for an option that is 250 cal less? Just changing a daily habit is the easiest way to lose weight slowly without too much effort. I think the best to target is breakfast or a regular snack if you have one.

500 calorie deficit per day will yield weight loss of 1lb

3500 cal = 1lb

I’m doing fitness pal and walking. I’ve only just started again.
I have found years of doing different things has just confused me as well.

ive set my calories for someone who is moderately active and taken 500 off. I’m going to do more exercise but at the moment I am walking for an hour a day and trying to get faster each week.
I find the calories are my normal diet without the snacks to be honest.

Less about the 'how' and more about the 'why'

Look at your motivation

Use my fitness pal to track or nutracheck

Get as much sleep as you can, yoga is brilliant for so many reasons, get as many steps as you can built into your day and focus on having a healthy diet - minimising ultra processed food and learning how to put together simple, quick, healthy meals, and eating mindfully and enjoying food rather than counting calories, depriving yourself and weighing yourself constantly then being tempted to binge when it goes wrong.

Weight loss diets are temporary and often crap, miserable, poor nutritionally, and usually lead to gaining more weight in the end. The only thing that works is focusing on health, sleep, mindset, and a good diet and this becoming normal life for you.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/articles/what_is_ultra-processed_food