Why does my DD3 listen to others, but not me ?

[policeoffissa]

My DD3 has the worst tantrums / doesn't listen to me at all basically. But when she's with others, she listens to them much more.

It's most noticeable when we go out.

I don't hear any complaints from nursery. She's coming up to 3 and a half and her tantrums are getting worse again. It's not that she can't express herself. She just can't accept when she doesn't get what she wants. She very much struggles with transitions as well. So if she's having fun and then it's time to go home, she really struggles. She's her absolute worst with me. When her dad is around she is a bit better and listens a bit more/ accepts when things don't go her way.

I find myself not taking her places because the inevitable tantrum that happens when we need to leave again. I'm really tired of it and can't bear all the screaming. Today she absolutely lost it because I didn't buy her sweets from a vending machine... it's very tiring and I'm so fed up.

Following as have exact same issue. Can only assume its because she knows I'll love her unconditionally.

I think it's also because they feel most comfortable with us. Because like you say, they know we love them regardless.

I'm really struggling with it at the moment. She's just constantly testing me right now.

Toddlers are hard work. The majority of parents have felt the way you are at some point or another.

My son, who's 5 is having some sort of regression. If I give him breakfast but didn't choose the cereal he was thinking of, screams his head off. If his sibling burps nearby, screams his head off. If I say we're doing something then have to change that, regardless of a good reasons, screams his head off. If I leave the car to get something from indoors quickly, screams his head off.

Then, every now and then I get a few weeks of peace where suddenly they're peaceful and it's as if they've turned a corner...

That's just young kids for you.