To ask you for bedtime advice 2.5 year old

[Threesmycrowd]

Toddler moved from cot to bed 2 weeks ago. Previously did routine of bath, stories etc put in cot, left room, he fell asleep alone. Now that he can get up and out of bed that no longer works. We put a stairgate across his door but he stands at it crying, gets more and more wound up, will not get into bed. Wants us to stay with him to fall asleep ( if we do that he wakes multiple times throughout the night requiring us to stay in his room to fall back asleep. Unfeasible particularly as we also have a baby).

It's getting worse and worse to the point where tonight I said I would stay in his room but he wouldn't get into bed even when I was lying in it. He still sat at thr stairgate crying. I tried telling him if he stayed in bed id leave it open. But no, hes out and about running all over upstairs if i leave it open. I've ended up leaving him screaming and sending his dad up in the hopes that a second person can sort it.

I have to put him and the baby to bed alone sometimes and I don't have the luxury of lots of time to calm him down/sort him out.

Any advice/tips? I don't think he dislikes the bed/is scared etc. I think he's never liked bedtime and now he has lots of freedom to express that!

Put him back in his cot? I kept mine in their cots as long as possible as I couldn't bear the thought of them getting out of bed and roaming the house whenever they felt like it haha.

He can climb out of his cot :(
Thanks for the thought though!

When mine did this I did the return technique.

First time, Do routine , say goodnight it's bedtime now and leave

Second time, wait 2 minutes of calling/crying, pick them up, say good night, give a kiss and cuddle, put back into bed and leave

Third time, wait 2 minutes, say bed time, put back into bed and leave

Forth and every time after, wait 2 minutes, and possibly leave longer if no crying/screaming, when you go in say nothing, make no eye contact, put back into bed.

If it helps you, you can sit on the other side of the gate so when he opens the door he can see you but still wait the few minutes before doing a return. He knows you are there but you are in charge.

This takes perseverance, he wants to know you are there but also needs to learn that he needs to stay in bed and getting out gets no reward or attention.

It took a few weeks (sorry) of bed transition for both of mine with a gate on the door, but now mine go to bed, self settle mostly and we have very little problem

What worked for me was a chilled bedtime, no rushing the story etc no matter how much stuff I had to do, lots of attention in the hour or so before bedtime and then bed when they were really drowsy. If they keep getting out of bed then unfortunately you do just have to be really persistent and keep putting them back. The moment you cave in and stay, you go right back to square one with it all.

Still napping?

Thank you @Houseofpainjumparound I think I will have to try that. And @Retrievemysanity absolutely about caving and square 1. Will need to be strong.

Yes still napping @VivaVivaa. I think he still needs it - and I don't think the reluctance is sleep/tiredness related because it was fine in the cot recently, I think it's related to the freedom of the bed.