To consider letting my teen babysit my toddler?

[Undiw]

I’m a single mother who recently lost my job. I have been applying for 15+ jobs a day. My previous employer ran off without paying me which has left me with money troubles.

I recently got a call back from a job wahoo! Except its not within the nursery hours, the job is weekends which is fine I have childcare for, and 5 hours for 3 days in the week. I would be home for 8pm, and nursery finished at 6.30. My toddler is 3 and my teenager is 14.

I could ask a family member to drop him back home to my teenager until i’m back but I’m really worried 3x a week would be far too much. I’m really desperate for a job though and I can’t afford to turn this down. What do I do?

My teen is very sensible and they would most likely watch TV until I was home, is this too much?

I'd take it, but I'd look for something else in the meantime that suits better. But don't turn it down even if this lasted a few weeks/couple of months it wouldn't be the end of the world to an understanding 14 year old (I have a 14 year old too).

Hey, contact ACAS about non payment of wages if you haven't already.
It's not unreasonable to occasionally ask your 14 year old to do this but might be a bit much asking them to do it all the time.
I'm sure they are capable but I don't know about reliability of someone that age.

You know your child and if they understand the financial realities they may be able to help you out, so long as there is an adult they can contact in emergencies. But it is a lot to ask so if it's this or nothing, by all means but if you have other options it may be worth exploring those.

It is just over an hour if nursery pick up is 6.30 and a family member is doing that
By the time they get the toddler to yours.
You could maybe compromise and see if the family member could keep them till 8 one evening and your teen the other 2 nights

I don't want to say YABU, as your circumstances are what they are.
However, I think 3x a week, over those times is a big ask. It is all the "grumpy time" after childcare until bed. Presumably they would need to feed them, bath them, put them to bed etc ?
What about their own homework?
I'm all for teens contributing to family life and cooking an evening meal, but this seems like a lot of responsibility on a regular basis for the 14 yr old.

Can the person who you think will collect them from childcare and deliver to your home not help ?

I’m racking my brains and i’m sure I could get someone to watch him for those hours it would just be a lot of back and forth after 8pm which isnt ideal.

I have been applying for more child friendly hour jobs but i’ve heard nothing back.

Depends on the teen, I was looking after other people's children for longer than that 5 days a week at that age

I was watching someone else's toddler at that age. It will be fine but I don't think it's ideal long term.

Would the family member who drops back be able to stay a little longer? Ask teen what they’d prefer?

As long as you were definitely home by 8 to do bedtime and toddler had eaten at nursery so it’s just TV time and mooching I’d think that’s OK. Can you afford to pay teen? Will it stop them doing any activities etc?

In the very short term it's better than nothing, however long term what about homework, social life, the chance for them to do paid work or have a social life?

I don't think it's sustainable.

Mentioned social life twice! Obviously I'm half asleep!

I would do it, I have teenagers that babysit for my young children. I trust them more than anyone else. They know their routines and likes and dislikes so it’s ok.

Yes I think that as long as the teenager is on board it is doable. Teenager would still have time to themselves for a couple of hours after school before toddler gets home .

In the short term it's fine, but I think it's unfair on them if it went on longterm. I think even if it's a lot of ferrying back and forward if someone else can look after them until 8 it would work a bit better.

When I was 15 I very often collected my baby brother from the day nursery brought him home and fed and changed him. If Mum was very late home from work I'd bath him and put him to bed.

He started FT day nursery when he was 6 weeks old, when Mum went back to work. As a social worker.

Looking after my own babies was a doddle because I'd done it all for years.

I used to look after my little brother every day, after school.

I didn't mind it at all and I knew it was doing my mum a favour.

I am 12 years older than him, I should add.