To not believe him. Help me

[cadburyegg]

My stbxh and I have 2 primary aged boys.

We are reasonably amicable and follow each other on Facebook still. I do not stalk his social media, but tonight I saw that he had joined a group called "young hot gay boys" and suggestively commented on 2 pictures of young teenage boys wearing just shorts.

I was livid and confronted him via text. He has just said his account has been hacked.
I don't believe him.

I don't know what to do

Being devil's advocate does he have mates that would take his phone a do this as a prank?

Also playing devils advocate, my fb was hacked and there was some comments left on porn pages from my account, many comments infact.

is there any reason for you to suspect he’s lying?

If this is out of the blue & out of character I'd believe him. Loads of my friends have had their fb hacked - including my 80 year old auntie who appeared to be randomly sending us all porn links

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt

depends what the comments said. Hackers dont tend to comment on pictures unless its a link or a pm me type comment

Ok maybe I overreacted.

No he doesn't have friends like that

The comments were suggestive and specific, not random links. There's no evidence of other suspicious activity on his account

How did you see what FB group he'd just joined and posted on?

Is it public?

Yes the group is public. The comment that was made and the post it was on just came up on my news feed

If he has a secret life of liking teenage boys he is hardly likely to join a public group to do so is he? Where all his friends and any family who are on his Facebook can see it?
Unless you have reason to believe he has a double life I would give him the benefit of the doubt and feel sorry for him - how embarrassing for him!

Why would he write comments in a public group on FACEBOOK if he isn't "out of the closet"?

I've been hacked twice and ended up deleting Facebook. The last time the hacker wrote really vile racist things.

I'd say someone I'm friends with on FB posts that they've been hacked 2-3 times a week. I'd believe him.

This.

Who joins a public group and agrees to let your news feed show your posts for something so personal?

I'd believe him and I'm a cynical old cow.

There are plenty of websites for that sort of thing, social media isn't one of them.

I might be more cynical than previous posters but I wouldn’t believe him completely, I’d be slightly wary.

He may have joined the group not realising it wasn’t private. Or some people don’t know that others (usually people who follow them) can see what they comment on social media. He might have been a bit dumb and not realised.

This seems very unlikely for a hacker to do but there is a slight possibility, but there is also a strong possibility he’s gay or bi and closeted.

You say young teenage boys, I hope you don’t also mean they look underage.

It's clickbait for viruses - that's why they do it. He hasn't been hacked, nobody is using his account, it's just uploaded a virus and hoping to bait many more if other people click on the link.

That's the best case scenario.

@cadburyegg If you can still see the site (I'm sure you don't want to) but are many of the comments similar from other people? Almost robotically entered, if that makes sense?

Tough one isn't it?

Why do you need to do anything? If he's gay/bi would that be an issue? Or do you suspect that the pictures are inappropriate ie underage boys? If that's the case report the site.
It is however quite probable that he has been hacked or a mate has 'borrowed' his phone. Lads find this stuff hilarious when in groups.

A couple of my friends Facebook accounts have been hacked recently, both accounts sending porn videos.
Another Facebook group I’m on has been hacked, it’s a local history site.

Rather bizarrely one of my fb friends has just posted her accounts been hacked & apologising for the porn links people have been sent

It definitely does happen

I think if you don't believe him that's your issue not his.

but are many of the comments similar from other people? Almost robotically entered, if that makes sense?

No. They seem genuine. "His" comments are also specific to the photo. Not robotic at all.

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not entirely convinced.

FWIW it's nothing to do with his sexuality, whatever it is. It's the fact they are pictures of teens that bothers me

Can you see how long he's been in the group ?

You can check which devices connected to Facebook. Does it show an unknown device i.e. the hackers device?
https://m.facebook.com/help/289066827791446#:~:text=Tap%20in%20the%20top%20right%20of%20Facebook%2C%20then%20tap%20your%20name.,-2&text=Tap%20below%20your%20profile%20picture%2C%20then%20tap%20Activity%20Log.,-3&text=Tap%20View%20Activity%20History%20at%20the%20bottom.

You are separated. I'm not sure it's your place to call him out on it.

Why would you immediately confront him by text? Assuming you were fairly aggressive (reading between the lines of your post)

If he say accidentally posted publicly and he is secretly gay he's going to deny it.

You'd be totally fine with your ex partner - with who you share young boys - having a sexual desire for young boys?