Dh fall out with family wwyd?

[Llamadramass]

To be honest this was a long time coming, I have wrote before about BIL who falls out with us every time we go on holiday without him.

DH said he is done and is ready to wash his hands with him. We’re married 3 kids and we’re not allowed to go anywhere unless we invite BIL first.

I do really like BIL and we get on really well, but he has some terrible traits. Very very selfish always tries to one up us when we don’t really care about possessions anyway. Very negative person can’t be happy for anyone.

Bil is now texting me as he has fell out with DH wanting me to go out with him. DH thinks I should be backing him up and not enabling him anymore. Wwyd?

I just haven't responded as I feel weird about the whole situation.

You feel weird because it is.
Presumably this is your DH brother, why does he want you to go out with him?
Just leave the relationship between them and keep out of it

Where does he want you to go? It's strange to want To go out with just your sister in law.
Leave it to your DH to sort.

Why would you go out with your BIL without your DH?

I will add that he’s gay as it will make more sense 🤣

You did the right thing - you need to back your husband.

Why does he think he should get to ho on holiday with you?

What did you mean you're not allowed to go out without inviting him? Who says? Completely ridiculous.

You back up your husband. You tell BIL to take it up with DH and that you aren't getting in the middle or meeting up with him..

I'd be telling BIL to fuck off.

He’s your DH’s brother, not yours. He comes first.

Does he not have a partner and is lonely and is expecting you and your DH to fill the gap by inviting him everywhere?

If your husband decides to stop contact with his family you do not go out with them...unless you want to ruin your marriage.

Its one thing keeping open a line of communication, eg aunt mabel has died funeral is on this date, and going for a piss up. I cant believe you are actually asking

Agree with other posters, you need to support your husbands decisions.

He will give us complete silent treatment for a good week. He said yesterday I can’t believe you have gone a booked a holiday without inviting me. Then DH felt bad and invited him then he said no I don’t want to come anyway. This is a 25 year old man we are dealing with. Constantly pulling tantrums.

@PoseyFlump yes! He is always at our house which I don’t mind and always out and about with us. But bloody hell it’s not normal I feel like his DH other kid.

He can't tantrum if you dump him.

That does not make any more sense...it is weird and you'd have to be an idiot not to back your DH.

Block him.

Stop enabling him then. He acts like a brat because he gets his way. Why would you even consider going out with him, nevermind tolerating his shit at all? You back your DH up because he didn't do anything wrong. Why even ask?

Your DH is right! Your BIL can't tantrum if nobody is pandering to it and why on earth does he want to come on every bloody family holiday?!

Back your dh fgs and stop enabling the odd behaviour of the brother.

Support your DH. Why are you even conflicted here? You are not in your DH and BIL relationship that's theirs. But you know what your BIL is and need to act accordingly.

Yes, @pillsthrillsandbellyache , he’s a brat and he’s being ridiculous.

Keep your distance, OP, he needs to start realizing that his bratty behavior has consequences. Adults can’t throw tantrums and/or be rude and expect everyone to instantly forgive them.