3 year old keeps spitting.

[Schooldinners1]

Just that. She keeps spitting “just cause” on the floor and wherever.

I’ve been watching her and she kind of gathers spit in her mouth and pushes it around then out.

Its embarrassing as she does it in front of people! I have explained she shouldn’t do it and it’s very bad manners.

Explain more sternly and move on to time outs and punishments

I do time outs but will admit I haven’t done “punishments” as such… any mums with ideas what would be age appropriate?

Think of it as consequences rather than punishments. If x then y.

My ds also 3 started spitting, I told him a couple of times it's not acceptable and not nice and then after that I just completely ignored him every time. Eventually he got bored and stopped as it wasn't getting him any attention. This broke the spitting 'phase' he was going through.

If he very occasionally looks like he's going to spit now I'll say 'ds, mummy has told you that it's unacceptable to spit' if he continues to do it I'll say something like 'if you spit again we won't go to the park on our way home' he will stop then as he knows he wants to go to the park and doesn't want to miss out!

I wonder if there's a sensory reason for it, or if it's just become a habit. I'd reinforce that she needs to go to the bathroom to spit and there will be consequences if she keeps doing it.

Out of curiosity is she a mouth breather? I always found myself with too much saliva (didn't spit but felt like I was drowning in it) but I was a mouth breather

My son did this for so long from around the age of 2 and still at 3. I think it was a sensory thing. He did it A LOT. It was infuriating and embarrassing sometimes.

I'm happy to report that he's 5 now and does not do it at all anymore

She's doing it because she's seen it done and because nobody is effectively stopping her.

Every single time she does it, you tell her. In no uncertain terms. If she's playing with something, remove it. If you're out, go home. If she's watching TV, turn it off.

That is extreme 😂 yes, leave the supermarket in the middle of the weekly shop because your 3yo is behaving like a normal 3yo. Mental

Ignoring it has worked for us. Once they stop getting a reaction it stops being funny!

Nothing normal about a 3 year old spitting.
Or the casual use of disablist language.

It must be a sensory thing. I feel like she’s just discovered spitting.

My grandson did it, not sure if it was a sensory thing or not but we all ignored it and it stopped..however he then started to chew the cuffs on sleeves or the neck band on his jumpers. Thankfully he’s stopped that too. He’s dyslexic so if that had anything to do with it we don’t know.

I would explain that it spreads diseases and isn't nice for other people to either watch or have to deal with.

If she does it when you are out and about then take her home. Obviously if it is in the middle of the weekly shop you can't leave, but you can carry disinfecting wipes around with you and make your DD stand around while you clean it up and dispose of the wipes. She will find that pretty boring. If she does it in front of another adult or relative they can tell her how disgusting that is. A resounding 'Ewwwwwwww' from a respected non-parental adult is sometimes needed in case they are tuning your remonstrances out.

Time outs don’t teach anything, and we shouldn’t use punishment - that’s all about power and won’t stop the behaviour.

The goal is discipline.

A resounding 'Ewwwwwwww' from a respected non-parental adult is sometimes needed in case they are tuning your remonstrances out.

@DemonicCaveMaggot Why would you think shaming a child was ever appropriate?

Timeouts are an old fashioned supernanny school of punishment designed to shame a child. Shame is not a useful emotion for any person (versus guilt, which is helpful to identify when you've done something wrong). Shaming a child only results in them learning and believing they are intrinsically bad and internalising this shame. A 2/3 yo is not mature enough to use a timeout to sit and reflect on their behaviour. They will simply be feeling shame and wondering when / how they get to go back go playing.

Natural consequences / ignoring spitting will be more effective imo.