To feel upset and not know how to respond?

[Celia24]

I have a bit of an alternative hobby as a comedy improviser and I've been in training since just before the pandemic and picked it up again in the last 7 months.

Once you've finished training it's important to start booking shows. My teacher contacted me 2 weeks ago asking me to join a team and do a show. I said yes and asked her to let me know about rehearsals etc. I also cancelled other plans to put the date in the diary.

Today I followed up as the show happens soon and she tells me she's sorry but the team have already rehearsed and probably best I miss it this time? She said had been ill and apologised profusely for not telling me.

I feel really upset about this and don't even know how to respond. I've known her for 4 years and performed in her shows before so I don't want to burn bridges.

You follow her up on the DAY of the show!!!

Seriously op 😂

You didn’t think to yourself…. Well this is a bit odd, day of the show in a couple of days and I haven’t had any rehearsals?!

oh come on op. You had a friend over so it slipped your mind

she felt like shit and it slipped her mind

No I didn't follow up on the DAY. I followed up the day before to ask what time I should be there. I had already agreed to do it and that was that agreed as far as I was concerned.

Ok so the day BEFORE

and you’d had zero prep and no rehearsals

now that really does sound like it would have been a comedy show!! 😂

You don’t have any friends in the group? No one contacted you?

Be careful not to be seen as hard work. You are a beginner and although you need boundaries this is a very small world. Go back to her be clear you’re a little disappointed but ask to be part of the group next time. In the meantime set up your own group if it’s easily done maybe this is the way forward for you.

I thought the whole point of comedy improvisation was that you didn’t rehearse?

Lighten up, no need to be a drama queen about this. It’s just a hobby right? Rejection is part of performing!

Perhaps you could find some humour in this situation and use it in future material.

Why would you leave it that late even? She might have genuinely forgotten, she might have also thought you weren’t that bothered.

This is basically what I'm going to do @NeedToChangeName - I have no way of knowing if she actually forgot or if a better offer came up.

I do know I'm just starting out in the community where everyone knows everyone. So I'll smile and be polite, but I won't be in a hurry to go to all her events as I usually do. I'll continue to go to some and focus on creating my own team and booking shows that way in future. Then I'm not just relying on others to make things happen.

The last thing I said was I was really looking forward to it and please let me know about rehearsals. She replied 'fantastic, I'll keep you posted xx' then crickets.

I suppose I should've been proactive. It just hurts that I seem to be the only one not included. Nothing I can do now. @Aprilx

This isn't good, but brace yourself for a brutal experience in this world.

You are overreacting. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Make note of it, don’t necessarily do any major favours for this person, but honestly you will make yourself disliked very quickly if you kick up a massive fuss over one mix up. It’s a small world, and you may find that you need this person or some of her circle. Give it another go.

Hey @User1367349 I know. I've already replied saying I was disappointed but would like to join in future.

And my well wishes for being ill...if she's the good person I thought she was, she'll feel bad as it is. But I won't be doing so many favours.

Next time get the rehearsal dates before you say yes. That way you have all the details you need and you’re protecting yourself from the disappointment.

You don’t practise things over and over, but you do need to spend time getting to know each other and building team chemistry.

I think you’re justified in being annoyed. It’s not hard to send a message, even when you’re unwell.

I also assume comedy improviser implies few/no rehearsals? The clue is in the name?

Use her guilt to see if you can get her to agree you are a priority for the next one. Thats probably the best you can do out of the situation. Dont burn the bridge if this is something you really want, its a small circle.

That's right @SmileyClare as @AlwaysPlayingYellowCar says you do want to at least establish some chemistry which is part of what a rehearsal is about.

Often when a team performs for the first time you can tell they haven't quite bonded yet.

Sounds like a good response, @Celia24. Now, don’t give it any more any more headspace. It’s much more likely to be disorganisation or a mistake than anything personal, just focus on the next opportunity.