To hold this against him?

[toomanyjugs]

My DH has always been pretty relaxed about work (he's a teacher). But recently he's basically doing nothing. He was just telling me he has hardly any work the next month and they want him to organise a school trip but he has already though of a lie that gets him out of it. He also marks books while teaching lessons and often is on his phone while teaching etc.

I have got the ick over it I think. He's fine at home. It's not teaching - he openly says he hates work, doesn't want to work, and whatever job he did he doesn't seen the point of doing the best he can and he just gets paid whatever. He thinks the game is to the least amount poss without getting sacked.

It's all good at home generally. He loves his own kids and spends lot of time with them. But I just get the ick when listening to that.

I work hard at my work and earn quite a bit more than him. Always on the look for the next step up. He is v supportive of me and sometimes even a bit pushy for me to work more and apply for extra stuff.

AIBU - is it really nothing to do with me? It doesn't really affect me. But I just go off him when he talks so proudly about how he's getting away with doing nothing

I wouldn’t like this either. I don’t admire people who don’t at least try their best to do a decent job. It is disrespectful to his pupils and colleagues.

Incidentally, I used to work with a man who would always go on about how he only did the bare minimum. He used to talk as if he was so clever. It honestly used to make me cringe. I just don’t see the point in being so passive and lazy and laughing at others who do try their best, as if they are mugs. It’s not an attractive characteristic.

I would find this attitude very unattractive. If he is bored with teaching, why does he not find another line of work?

I do see something in what he's saying. In the company I work for, you get paid the same whether you are absolutely awesome, or absolutely shit. I think as people get older, having put their all in for years, they do start to think 'what's the fucking point.' Especially if the kids are ungrateful/not listening anyway.

But that's the point you leave the profession if you stop caring...

I've been teaching 10 years. I have a great repertoire of lessons, but each year I update them, read around my subject, find up to date and relevant stuff to add to lessons that might inspire kids.

There will always be kids who don't care (usually the ones whose parents don't bother coming to parents evening or engaging with the school), but there are also kids in every class who do want to be inspired, so for this reason alone you aim to inspire.

It sounds like it's not specifically the teaching, but the OPs partner in general and his attitude towards work. I'd struggle to be attracted to someone who showed no passion and enthusiasm towards their career.