To feel sad for my DD?

[SleepyElephant]

For various reasons, 1 YO DD will probably be an only child. She does have two sets of loving grandparents but one set live 4 hours away so she only sees them 3-4 times a year.

DH and I get on okay with our siblings, but we’re not especially close so although she’ll know her cousins, she’s not going to be best friends with them like you hear a lot of children are.

I think DH and I are feeling the absence of family a bit in our lives the older we get and it’s making me feel so sad for DD. I’m so worried about her being lonely, especially once she reaches adulthood.

I worry that she won’t have many friends growing up (no particular reason for this worry) and then where will she be? She’s only 1 so I know it’s pointless really worrying about all this now, but I do. I just want her to grow up happy, surrounded by people that love her and I’m worried that once she gets to teen/ adulthood, GP’s will no longer be around, she won’t have a particularly close relationship with her aunts/ uncles or cousins and probably no sibling…so who will she have apart from DH and I? 😞

Does anyone have an only that isn’t close to their cousins, or doesn’t have any? Are they lonely, do they yearn for a bigger family?

I’m an only child, so is my mum, so I’m an only grandchild on one side! DD is an only child and I’m really happy with that.
I have a few cousins on my dads side but I’m not close to them, haven’t seen them for 15 years or so.
It’s really no big deal, I enjoyed growing up an only child and I think DD will also, she has a similar temperament to me and enjoys peace and quiet.

I don't understand why parents think their only children will be lonely as adults. I really don't get it. 99% of adults I know spend their time with friends, not their siblings! And of course many people go on to have families of their own or a partner. Do the adults you know only hang out with siblings?

I have 5 cousins around 5 - 1 year older and one the same age. I can't remember when I saw them the last time, we all moved away from our hometown and lots of our parents have saidly passed away so there aren't really any reasons to connect.

I don't talk to my. sister and see only one of my nieces when I visit my mum.

DD is also a single child. DH has no family apart from one cousin who is 15 years older.

But - I have several good friends who also love DD and we can talk about everything, they know more about me than my family ever will.

Family is what you make in my opinion, blood is not something you can rely on.

If you be are that bothered then give her a sibling.

What a stupid comment. You have no idea why the OP won't be having any more dc.

Nobody should ever have a second child simply to "give" their child a sibling.

1 year old DD is an only and will likely have no cousins or at least not any time soon. She has 2 sets of grandparents and an auntie who adore her and an uncle who is kind but not that interested.

I’m an introvert but make a lot of effort to facilitate time with other children for her. She has nursery 2 days a week and we often meet friends with kids or occasionally see cousins of mine who have kids at family events although I’m not very close to my cousins. My closest friends all have children of a similar age to her, or will do (one is pregnant at the moment). We go to parks every weekend and toddler groups/ soft play/ play cafes often on our days off in the week. When she’s at school we’ll facilitate play dates and hobbies and go on day trips, hopefully she’ll have lots of opportunities to make friends as she grows up and some of those will be close, lasting bonds for her.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · Today 10:28
I asked my DD (11)if she wants someone over tomorrow for a playdate. She said no because she wants to spend some time with just me and to chill. She's not lonely.

yes, i always have similar answers. I provide so much fun and entertainment cuz i just am such fun myself , a walking circus

reading this now realise sounds sarcastic. I really mean it, i am such fun and provide so many visits out that there is never spare min for too many play dates

My DD and her cousin are in the same year at the same school. Both only's. They can't stand each other 😂. Never have got on. Totally different people.

DD has plenty of friends and it's not a big deal at all. They only know of each other because they're related.

Do not worry. Your dd will find her tribe.

DD is an only child. She has cousins but we are younger parents and our siblings are older parents so a 13 and 16 year age gap between her and her cousins. She’ll be leaving uni as the younger one starts school.

She has lots of friends and doesn’t really mention not having a sibling much. I do feel a bit bad about it sometimes but she’s doing well and knows she is loved.

OP I have 70 first cousins and I’m not close to any of them.
I have 3 siblings and we get on well but do not live in each others pockets.
I have lots Of lovely friends, in laws, kids now, and a dog.
she will make her own happy life.

Another only here. My parents both had siblings but weren't close to theirs, so I saw my cousins fairly often at family get togethers (birthdays, Christmas, etc) but we've all drifted apart as we've grown up, same with my aunts and uncles after grandparents passed away. As an adult, I'm married with kids of my own and a few close friends, so it's all worked out fine and I'm not lonely.

My husband is from a big family with lots of siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. He finds it all very stressful because half of them are enmeshed and the other half are estranged from one another, so more isn't always better.

I think it's normal to be a bit worried but just make an effort to encourage friendships and family relationships where you can. Try to cultivate some friendships with other families.

I have 2 dc 9 and 11, but their gp are all in their eighties, not local, and aunts and uncles live a distance away and don't engage with the kids much. They have some distant cousins who are a similar age but we can't see them often. No family member ever babysits or takes them out, which they do comment on - most of their friends go to stay with cousins, gp etc. It is a shame there is noone really involved in their lives apart from me and DH. Nothing I can do about this other than make the most of the family we have and facilitate friendships as they develop.