To just not want my inlaws staying in the house?

[posieflump]

We have recently moved into a larger house with a spare room.
Usually inlaws would stay in a hotel nearby when they visit (they live 6 hours drive away so come for a few days).
My parents will continue to stay in a hotel as they like the break/holiday aspect of it.
Dh says it would be unfair to ask his parents to fork out for a hotel now we have room. They can afford it and they stay for about 3-4 nights.
I probably am being unreasonable but I hate the whole sharing of bathrooms etc with MIL. I just don't want them here when i wake up and when I go to bed for 4 fricking days. They drive me crazy, wind the kids up so they don't want to go to bed etc etc

I agree with you, we decided as a family that for all concerned we would all stay in hotels when visiting each other. Its nicer to have your own space & bathroom space at that. We are 300 miles away in distance so an overnight stay is required.

My family enjoy having a nice meal and drinks in the bar, they treat it as a mini break as we do to.

I get where you are coming from. No really, I do. I have just had a new baby (well, she's five months now) and I have a toddler and we had 3 weeks of my parents followed by 3 weeks of MIL followed by 2 weeks of SIL which was a bit insane. But we had the spare room and it wouldn't be fair to not let them stay (although MIL originally planned on coming for 6 weeks!)

I knew it was going to be hard, I knew I didn't want everyone around all the time, but I decided for DH's sake to suck it up. And that made DH relax a bit, and me as well.

So I do think you are being a BU not to at least invite them to stay for such a short time.

YABU - if you visited them and they asked you to stay in a hotel would you feel upset. I would.

if it's any consolation, I said that the inlaws would NEVER stay with us now we have moved 200 miles away, but I relented and they stayed last weekend and it was fine! Almost nice...

why buy a house with spare room if you dont want people to stay.

YABU

our spare room is a box room and has the computer in - no way could two people sleep in there. Guests have to have the airbed in the lounge. Maybe the OP's spare room is too small?

Would there be any benefits to this? They might babysit for you!

YABU. Not that I don't sympathise, I do. I can't stand my in-laws, but they come with the territory. It's the price you pay for living so far away. Remember that you are lucky that they can't just drop in any time unannounced & you don't have to see them that often.

we live in a two bed apartment, with our daughter now 19 months, just before she was born, we had us two, my brother in law and his wife, their 7 year old daughter and my mother in law here. it was fun! If not a bit cramped. I also had mother-in-law here for 6 weeks in a box room, which is a very small room indeed.

Its amazing how much you can fit in a box room with a little effort and organising. All too soon your parents will be gone and you will have no time to enjoy them at all, nor will your children, a bit of hardship is not much to sacrifice for some time you can never get back again.

well the extra room was meant to be dh's study but that is currently the dining room

I didn't buy a bigger house to have people to stay... it was to hoard all of dh's crap!

YABU. If you were to visit them with DCs and stay in a hotel it would be very costly and you would think it very unfair(I would guess) if they had the room for you but didn't want you. It is all very well staying locally if you have the money-most people don't.It is only 3 days, not 3 weeks.