I just want to chill

[justwanttobe]

I've had a particularly difficult week with kids being ill.

Many nights with very little sleep. I wake up every morning and everything hurts.

I have hit a wall. I just don't have any energy. I just want to not have to change nappies, carry crying children, cook, clean and tidy up. I just need a rest.

I don't feel like I am a good mum right now either. Too much screen time for my three year old, losing patience easier than normal with both my kids and I could probably be giving them better meals.

My one year old boy is so clingy. I just have to either hold him all day or I have to play with him constantly. He's so sweet, but he cries as soon as he's put down or I need to do something else. I can't get anything done when he's around. He's always crying.

I just want to sit in peace for a day. But I can't.

My H isn't around a lot and pretty much just creates more work for me.

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this rut. Hopefully once I sleep better again for a few nights, I will get some energy back. ( 1 year old still wakes quite a lot. Last night he woke at 2 and needed nappy changed and then again at 5, for example).

Oh sweetie, i promise this will all get easier! I uses to be in a similar position (only 1 kid, but i did work very long hours and partner was rubbish), and i remember the relentless exhaustion. Things i did, not all of which will help you, but just to give you ideas:

1. Eventually ditched the crap partner, but that may not be right for you!
2. I used to 'earn' myself a break. I.e. get ahead on cleaning, laundry, batch cooking etc. and then 'gift' myself a day or two where i did bare minimum parenting and did as much telly watching/napping/whatever as i could.
3. Back to front lie ins - basically, went to bed around 8pm once a week as even with one middle of night wake up and early morning,it still guarunteed a decent amount of sleep.
4. On really crap days, went for the combo of outside time (even just a play in garden) + long splashy play in bath + easy meal + movie afternoon/evening. Broke day up into manageable segments and tired dd out nicely so she appreciated her chill time later in day.
5. Helped others - hear me out, and this wont apply to you just yet! From about aged 4 or 5 onwards, i regularly had dd's pals from school over for little playdates, included one if we went swimming/cinema etc. If i could ever help another parent with school pick ups, i did. This progressed to sleepovers from around 7 or 8. Its really not much harder to have an extra kid tag along. This was all very appreciated by the parents, and reciprocated, ending up with dd having lots of close friends, and me benefitting from a massive support network id essentially created.

Good luck! Also, if i could go back in time and do anything differently - id have allowed more screen time, less outings, more crappy junk food, more self forgiveness and less self imposed pressure. I very much doubt my daughter would have been irreversibly harmed by a bit more telly, some pj days, and eating a few junky suppers. Xx

These are great suggestions thank you so much