Selective feminism

[Revoltingrhyme]

Ill start by saying I consider myself a feminist and fully capable of doing anything my DP can do - sometimes I do it better 😂 However there are times when I’m more than happy to let my beliefs waiver a little. Some examples I’ve realised are:

Letting my DP go out to do the late night snack runs because he’s a big strong man

The old fashioned etiquette of the man walking on the side of the path closest to the road so he can push me out the way of any potential veering cars 😂

Disposing of any birds/frogs the cats manage to capture because I’m too delicate a woman to possibly deal with something dead.

AIBU to let my feminism slide sometimes? If you don’t think I am, what are some of your examples!

Same with me and my husband. We do all the things you mention as well as others.

He always sleeps on the side closest to the door in a hotel so he's the first one an intruder gets 🤣

My DP has very old fashioned manners - he walks on the outside of the pavement, holds my coat for me and takes it off, pulls out chairs in restaurants for me, opens the car door. I let him.

To me Feminism doesn't mean that the genders are the same it means that they are equal. And that both femine and masculine characteristics should be celebrated on all genders.

DH stands by in a bemused fashion as I try to prove I'm just as capable of carry the big bags of garden waste etc. I'm not, we both know it but I try anyway.

I defer to him on a lot of DIY stuff. We are generally quite careful about that though as we don't want DDs thinking only men can do certain things. And as I like to remind him, I'm the one with an Engineering Masters while his is only a BSc. (However his is a lot more practical than mine unless we needed to create models on a supercomputer instead of topping up the oil on the car)

Oh god yea. I dont do bins or removing anything dead or creepy. He carries all the heavy bags, even if not heavy🤣
He carried my jacket all day today.

He does all snack runs and most shopping because he drives, I get chauffeured around.

He also does the washing more because my poor little girly shoulders just couldn't hang out all the washing that he could.

I love gardening, I grow a lot but he does all the dirty, scary stuff like getting in under the plants and weeds. I'm extremely happy with this.

Last year DP was in the process of moving and I was at his house while he did a night shift. When he came home I’d got all the bedroom furniture downstairs, wardrobe, chest of drawers, unit that the tv was on. He couldn’t understand how I managed it.

but sometimes I can’t pour my own glass of coke if the bottle is new because it’s heavy..

Honestly this sounds pathetic. I'm 5 ft 1 and can perfectly manage bins, garden waste, digging up pretty big shrubs and heavy laundry. Just like DH can soil his manly hands with scrubbing the bathroom floor.
You all sound like "tee hee we're beinging a bit naughty aren't we tee hee" as an excuse for being lazy tbh.
And yes I have noticed it's an old thread, thanks.

Bully for you. I'm 5'1" and can manage compost sacks etc but there are a few physical tasks which are simply beyond me or which DH would find a lot easier.

There's no shame in this, there's absolutely nothing non-feminist about acknowledging that humans are a dimorphic species and women are typically not as strong as men. Obviously some women are stronger than some men. Part of feminism is about the challenge of true equity not just legal equality in a world when men are stronger but 100% useless at having a baby.

(Just the physical tasks though, I'm not squeamish about disposing of things that die in the garden and he's the arachnophobe. )

A bit of a sense of humour failure on this. Of course you share out jobs according to strengths, weaknesses and opportunities in a relationship- nothing nonfeminist about that. It's just that when you're on your own, you'll need to get on with it and you will. Nothing will change about you as a woman when you are doing those things.

The old fashioned etiquette of the man walking on the side of the path closest to the road so he can push me out the way of any potential veering cars 😂

Back in the olden days a gentleman would always walk on the inside in case someone chanced to empty their chamber pot out of the window.

A feminist would fight to improve safety for women who are walking on the streets. They don't have to take risks they aren't comfortable with to prove an identity.

If you need to remind your husband you have a masters degree You have a chip on your shoulder.

Genuine tasks needing more strength, fair dos. Most of pp examples weren't.

@Northernparent68 you don't have long running jokes with your partner?

My husband is well aware of my academic ability and my klutziness in everyday life. No chips except the ones I cook him for dinner (or indeed, the ones he cooks me!)

Removal of spiders. I'm a weightlifting, target-shooting, higher-earning feminist and DH is a baking, shopping homebody. But I can hide under the duvet whimpering until he appears with his manly spider-catching techniques and puts them at the bottom of the garden.