To think airbrushing a baby should not be the default position for a photographer

[Ididgoogleit]

We went for a family photoshoot today.
In the review room to choose our photos, one of the staff asked us if a red mark on DD's (7mo) face is a birthmark. I explained no, it's eczema, and she asked if we would like it to be airbrushed out of the photos. We said no. DD has had ongoing issues with her skin for months and more often than not has red, inflamed cheeks. Not that it's actually all that relevant but today, she actually looks a lot better and in the photos it just looked like she had rosy cheeks more than anything. She looked truly beautiful in the photos, just like her.
The person who deals with post-production wasn't in the room so the woman said she'd write a note explaining it was eczema and to not edit it out because otherwise he probably just would do it.

This has really irked me. It's one thing to ask (although that in itself bothers me too because why are you pointing out perceived flaws in my baby. And actually had that been DD3, she's old enough that she would have understood that as criticism of her face and maybe taken it to heart)... but why on Earth is the default to airbrush a baby's face unless told otherwise.

I understand that some people may want to airbrush a temporary issue like a scratch or spot or eczema out and having lived with DD's really complex skin issues for months and months now (she has a paediatric dermatology appointment next week actually) I can understand that some people may want the photo editing to hide that trauma in the longer term, but surely that suggestion should come from the family and not from the photographers. Just say you have the option to make some changes using airbrushing or whatever if you're interested but don't highlight what you perceive as a flaw in my perfect baby and then make leaving her as she naturally as the 'optional' choice.

The default isn’t to change her face, the default is to ask for the customers preference when they’ve paid for professional stages photographs. It doesn’t mean they don’t think she’s beautiful, they are just providing a service and photo editing is part of that.

I’ve seen this in other folks shoots, it would be no problem to the photographer to ask for this to be put back in 🤷‍♀️ some of them just go too far, but everyone wants something different so it’s hard to get right first time.

the photographer I use will do very very minimal airbrushing if any but the photos he takes are stunning. Many ask him to make them slimmer etc but his stance is that if you want that you should come with that, he’s not into body modification, and everyone seems to respect this

This was originally me responding to someone saying that this is the norm and it would happen without me asking. So my question here is if the airbrushing would happen without me asking how does the photographer know what to airbrush?

Okay, fair enough. I'm happy to be told I'm wrong. We won this photoshoot after signing up for a free competition at a game fair, we've never had a professional photo taken before and thought it would be nice to get a few family photos with all 4 of us in the photo for once.
I don't agree with it, I do still think the default should be to just say there is an option to make some changes rather than pick out flaws directly to offer to change them, especially in children but I already said, and stand by that I don't judge parents who would choose to have editing done, I can completely see why some would.

But happy to be told there's enough of the population who disagree that this is why the photographer may do it this way.

For those saying I'm overreacting and especially the mountain out of a molehill comment though.... I'm not sure I'd call popping onto Mumsnet and posting and AIBU a mountain? I didn't complain, I didn't storm out and cancel my order, I didn't flick the photographer on the nose and I didn't report a hate crime to the police. I was genuinely surprised that this happened and though it was weird and wanted to see what others said. Happy to be told others have a different opinion, not so sure I need to be called a dramalama just for asking.

But thanks for the input. I'm looking forward to getting the photos back and seeing hopefully my gorgeous daughters just as they are and DH and I with airbrushed Botox and no crowsfeet 😁

My friend does family portraits, I remember her saying that she does some default editing on young children and babies because in at least one of the pictures there will be stray dribble, or some snot or a smudge.
Lots of people get those portraits done to blow them up and hang on the wall so what was 2mm of snot on the side of their nose is now an inch wide and really obvious when hung on the wall so most people would rather have that tidied up.

DD was a baby model once in a shoot for boots, their police was not to photoshop/airbrush soooo DD had makeup to cover up her bruises from just learning to cruise 🙃 I'm not sure that was any "better"

My friend had her daughter's portrait done and they air brushed out a port wine mark on her face
Unlike others I think it is a big issue because it conveys that someone thought she was prettier without it.
Doing it by default gives children the idea that unique features are flaws.

I'm a professional photographer and people are individuals. I can tell you that most people, if a 'blemish' is temporary, ask me if I can remove it.

If it's a permanent feature, I never ask, but 99% of the time people request corrections like this, even on their children. Often I'll edit without corrections, and they'll ask anyway.

It's really not evil photographers assuming the worst, I promise.

Nobody is saying that they would want permanent birthmarks airbrushed out- just random patches of eczema, scrapes, snot etc

They possibly run the photos through software like portrait pro which will do this automatically so they need to ask.

They gave you a choice - I can't see anything wrong with that.

Jeeeeeesus 😬 I'd strongly advise not commenting and not bringing this up in person. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who causes drama about such a minor nothing of an event. I wouldn't be surprised if your friend no longer wanted to be friends after your chat. If she means a lot to you, think about this before talking to her. I'd also recommend coming off social media seeing as it affects your mental health so strongly. Get some hobbies!

Don't be so bloody ridiculous, with all your what ifs. It didn't happen.