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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DP should be able to keep in contact whilst he’s away

30 replies

AMuser · 03/06/2023 18:40

So … I can of know IABU but …

DP and I both late 40s. Together 2 years. Don’t live together. On a normal day we WhatsApp a few times before work then have 1-3 calls.

Any time I am out with friends it away on work / friend trips I call him. Send a couple of Whatsapps. To me it’s important. I am not on my phone with friends (hate that) but can always find 5 mins to message / step outside and call.

We were working together til about 1 in the afternoon yesterday (we don’t normally work together it was a one off). He was heading off to his family home later that day & then heading off on a hobby trip with his brother. He said he would call me that eve. He didn’t call. I got a WhatsApp to say goodnight at about 11. And not heard a thing since.

I know it’s immature but given how much contact we have normally I find it really a bit hurtful he doesn’t seem to think about me when he’s doing something else. He’s done this before.

he’s not been on his phone tho. A message I sent this am at 8 to say I hoped he’d have a lovely time with his brother is unread.

OP posts:
Lululumpkin · 03/06/2023 21:32

For what it's worth, I would be upset too and certainly don't think it's unreasonable - it doesn't cost anything (time or money!) to just drop a little text to let the one you love know you are on their mind. I'm in my early 30s though so maybe have more of a generational expectation x

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 03/06/2023 22:06

You say that you can see your message was 'unread' this morning. Does this not mean his phone may well be turned off?
Is it possible that he's left it at his 'family home' by mistake, or forgotten to take his charger, or dropped it in a river, or just run out of battery power?! If 24 hours had passed with zero attempt to contact you (using his brother's phone if necessary) I would find it less unreasonable to be worried/annoyed, but it sounds like it hasn't even been 12 hours (and tbh he could have just been asleep till after 8am!)

Original poster
AMuser · 03/06/2023 23:59

Lululumpkin · 03/06/2023 21:32

For what it's worth, I would be upset too and certainly don't think it's unreasonable - it doesn't cost anything (time or money!) to just drop a little text to let the one you love know you are on their mind. I'm in my early 30s though so maybe have more of a generational expectation x

Thanks. That’s kind of the way I see it too - but I am more of a phone person than him and I get we all have different communication styles / needs.

Essentially we are compatible in our communication when we are both going about our normal day. We both work from home so a lunchtime phone call and an evening one and sometimes a quick good night suits us (well him a little more than me - he lives alone and likes talking on the phone. I live with 4 teens and am sometimes talked out).

where it goes a little off for he is when he has something else on. I can multitask and still be in contact with him. He focuses on that one thing which is good.

He did call me at 8 this eve. So all is fine.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 04/06/2023 00:07

I think you know your being a little unreasonable. He sent you a good night text and is presumably away doing hobby with brother without his phone. I often leave mine at home when out doing my hobby for the day

Clymene · 04/06/2023 00:56

So he was out of contact for less than 24 hours.

What's the hobby?

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