Work baby showers

[janeseymour78]

I recently attended a baby shower of a colleague I don't know well, but there was pressure to attend. And yes, we all had to get presents. But at least it was in the office & easy to attend for a quick hour.

The next one will be held at a venue 45 mins away from the office at a place hired out. It's also really far from my home. A colleague has offered to put me up for the night and stressed that all the women are going. But I'll need to travel to the office the next morning. AIBU to just say no?

And there's another one in 2 months. 😂 I realise it will be frowned upon but I barely know these people beyond the obligatory coffee/tea breaks and work dos.

What a shame that's the date of your daughter's play/cousin's engagement party/appointment you've been waiting for for a year.

Just say no and keep saying it until the stop inviting you.

Just say “thanks for the invite but no”

Why did you take a job with a contract that obliges you to attend every single social event that is arranged?

Oh, that's right, you didn't.

So just tell them that you can't make it.

So what if it's "frowned upon". Let them frown away.

"I have a conflict, so sorry to miss it."

You have to set a precedent with these things. I'm very clear I won't participate in things like that and have been since I started my current job. I also don't expect anything in return (so don't be the person who complains when you don't get a baby shower/leaving card etc!)

Just say no. As with any social event organised by work colleagues, there is no obligation to attend.

What a shame you've already got plans that day.

Don’t make up plans otherwise what happens at the other events? Just be clear it’s not your think. Wish them well and be done with it

Yea same here. I’m friendly at get on with my colleagues but don’t blur work and social life, and am more than happy to miss out on a birthday card occasionally because of it!

I said I'd check my diary and get back to them.

I don't mind Xmas functions etc and enjoy them generally but I just feel I'd be really going out of my way for someone I feel very lukewarm about. If I'm the only woman not to attend it doesn't look great from a playing politics point of view.

Fuck. That.

You are an adult so just say no. Also, who said or why did you have to buy presents?

You saying no may help other women feel confident to do the same.

I don't attend baby showers because I'm really superstitious. Might be worth trying that angle?

This

Is there an HR department? They should be aware of this, cliques have a negative effect on the work environment.

It really doesn't matter if you're the only woman not to go. On any social event it's unusual for everyone to be available. People have other things to do. If you don't want to just say no then make something up.

I’ve never heard of a baby shower at work. That shouldn’t be allowed. Should be outside of work and work hours

Won't it be a nice way of getting to know them? A small token gift will be fine.

Why would co-workers (or anyone really) waste time/money/sanity just because someone went and got themselves knocked-up?
Crazy!
What about the chilfree/less people who waste all that money and energy and never get anything back?

Tell me about it @IsThereAnEchoInHere

I keep buying baby shower gifts and signing cards for engagements. I'm single right now but happy with life and just won an award for something I worked hard for. Was it acknowledged with a card or anything? Nope, because it doesn't fit the usual milestones.

Say you don't do baby showers for personal reasons

Yep, it sucks.
And if you dare to say it out loud, you’ll get call ’bitter’ and other nice things!

After too much social bullshit when I worked in the corporate world, I developed a rule...if I'm not getting paid for my time at the event, I'm not going.

If I were you, I absolutely would not go to these baby showers, fuck having to get them a gift, no bloody way.

Don't even make an excuse, you don't need to. A simple "Thanks for the invite but I don't want to go", is enough, who cares if it pisses them off? At least you won't get invited to these cheeky fuckery events again.