DH drinking till 4am

[ValerieGoldberg]

I don’t begrudge DH going out with his mates for a night out, but we’ve a DS who is 2 and an awful sleeper, wakes in the night, takes ages to go to sleep. DH went out straight after work yesterday. I had DS after work, sorted him for bed etc. DH said he wouldn’t go overboard with the drink. DS wakes at 3. DH is still out. DH rolls into bed at 4am. It’s gorgeous weather here and he has just been lying on the sofa with his eyes shut almost all day. He said through the week that he would take DS out today for a few hours today but hasn’t. It’s not the end of the world but he’s 42! I just think that this is what your 20’s and 30’s are for. Why can’t he just go have a night out and have a few beers. It’s not like he goes out all the time but why when he does, does it always end up 4/5 am finish and useless the rest of the day? I go out and enjoy myself and might have a few but I know DS is going to wake me up at 5:30/6 ish so I don’t get too hammered. Anyways AIBU

How often does he do this?

It really depends on how much of a regular occurrence it is. I don’t think being 40 vs 20 or 30 is really a reason for not being able to stay out late every so often.
If DH or I have a night out it’s a given that the other gets up with a toddler. It just makes more sense.
It’s no fun to go out in the evening if you have to get up at 5:30 with a toddler.

I think where you’re going wrong is not making him feel the repercussions of his choices. Why is he lolling round today and relaxing? He needs to take DS out. Not your or DS’s fault he’s hungover

My husband is going out for the evening in a few weeks, straight from work and we have 2 month old twins. Zero chance l will be creeping round the following day and doing all the parenting, after a day of solo parenting the previous day.

About once a month but lately he’s had a few more events so it’s been 3 or 4 nights out last month. Not all were late finishes. It’s not as much the late night, it’s the drinking. Definitely don’t expect him up with DS when he wakes, but to get to 2pm and still be lying down as he’s feeling too rough just feels like what I used to do at uni or pre kids. He also works every other weekend so I probably have DS more on weekends in general than DH so maybe this skews my thoughts a bit

Not if it’s a one off thing I’d let him be tbh pick your battles I’d get out rather than staying stuck in though and probably organise a “me” day for tomorrow x

I never EVER understand these martyr like posts...

Just dump ds in bed with your dh around noon. Open the blinds. Bring the guy a passive aggresive coffee and announce you are going to the shops and will be back in a couple of hours

And then. You. Leave 😁

The only reasons men keep doing these kinds of things is because the WIFES enable them...

They let them lie in until well into the afternoon and tiptoe around the house. Whilst in the meanwhile seething

I dont get it

Wake the sucker up :)!!

And the next time he announces his plans you ll tell him that the day after his event you have plans with your friends at 11AM for a coffee date .
And then you do as stated above

Stop enabling start living 😉

But

If this was truly a once off ;

Stop complaining and let the guy have one big late night out 😉

@Babsexxx yeah were off out for a coffee and a wander. DH said he is coming 😱 I’ve already arranged to see friends tomorrow haha.

We get on pretty well and there’s been no argument or anything of that sort. It’s just something I’ve been thinking recently and wondered if I was being harsh