DS doesn’t take the kids out on his own

[Bigwildorange]

I feel myself growing more and more resentful as time goes on. We have 2 DCs (11+7) and DH has only taken them out twice in almost 12 years on his own. I work one week on and one week off and during the school holidays DCs (if I’m working) don’t leave the house, unless oldest is out with friends. Our youngest is autistic and is challenging however I take him to softplay/on local walks, to the park, picnics and to events with autism societies. I can’t help feeling sad when I see Dads out on bike rides with their kids, at the park or just going for a walk. If we have days off together then we do take them out together. I also don’t drive and struggle on buses taking them out whereas DH can drive and could easily take them somewhere.

I have tried talking to him but he gets defensive and says I’m always making out he’s a “bad father.”

@Bigwildorange

I think I would book eldest into some holiday clubs for weeks when DH is on duty. Hopefully you can get some support in place for youngest.

It does seem like another example of a man opting out of family life. He is no more use than a teenage babysitter. You're doing all the running around and organising.

Not entirely sure what the point of him is

If he doesn't take them out but does some stuff with them at home that is a starting point.

If he leaves them on their bedrooms and he is one his own doing whatever that's is bad.

I don't like socialising and I got the target to do every weekend two activities with my daughter either at home or outside, most are at home baking, crafting, (playing is not counted as an activity, we do play a lot) and once or two a month we go to s day trip to a museum, picnic etc. I'll do it for her not for me. I would happily be at home and she is little so it is easier.

I think he has to do the effort tbh.