Total lack of go

[Desperatetime]

I'm reaching out here because I honestly don't know what to do about myself but my lack of motivation and interest is slowly killing me to the point that I'm thinking about dying to be out of my misery.
I can't get going for anything I push myself to go out to work get exhausted after 2 shifts feel unwell in myself I have diabetes, adhd, underactive thyroid, hypertension, depression and above all a complete lack of zest for anything I'm living on outside food because I can't be bothered to cook I have debt as a result I went through early menopause many years ago whilst trying to conceive my 2nd dc that impacted my life I can't sleep or relax properly. I have been under mental health but all they do is prescribe medication and I'm not prescribed anything for adhd as yet as I need a nhs assessment as well as the private one I had.
I don't know what to do im a mess and I'm binge eating on sugary snacks all of the time. I'm in a mess.

Are you medicating your adhd? Without mine I literally cease to function if you are it may be time to readjust them, I find my meds differ Wildly depending on my hormones

Sorry just read last bit of your comment again you should of had access to your medication through your private diagnosis then can opt for shared care. I had to check with my gp which private provider they were willing to work with first and all has been fine

I did have access to the medication but I couldn't afford the follow up calls but I needed the diagnosis.

My gp and nhs service keep saying I have to be diagnosed by the NHS to get shared care but it's a long wait

im newly diagnosed. im 42
mine is ADHD type I inattentive or old style ADD

because i don't have a job and hast since 2003 (im a 24-7 carer on carers allowance as i have disabled kids) and its not severely impacting my day to day life, it was
they(nhs wales)refused to medicate me and i was dismissed-taken off the hospitals list at the same appointment of diagnosis

joining a local Facebook group i can now see i was lucky to get referred let alone a diagnoses as our local heath board is poor and out of money

i had to really push for a referral to start with and it took 18 months from referal to disagnosis day and if i wasn't so pushy would have been dismissed at first doctors appointment

its only because y 12 y old has D.A.M.P and D.A.M.P-PD(google it, they are rare conditions) they would refer me

he does have many more separate conditions as well

im also recovering form a emotional breakdown(new term for nervous breakdown)im not medicated for that either as it was due from stress not depression and doctors didnt want to know as i was diagnosed privately

seriously my local health board is shit and very unhelpful(im rural south wales)

i did google research and asked on a support group and i was recommended off amazon get focused by minifest labs

only herbal tablets and 10.99 for 30

been on them 2 months now

looking at the ingredients i didn't think much of it

all my life my brain has been cloudy and never clear, i put it down to being a carer since i was 18(first my ex for 22 years and 2 disabled kids since 2004)or stress as i has to do the job-thinking for 2 people as ex wasn't capable

i only realized what i was doing with ex when he left us in 2020

he was my only boyfriend and we met at 17 and 18 so to me it was my normal and it was only a few weeks after he left(ran off overnight with my ex best friend) that i realized in all our 22 years together i never had a equal adult but he was always a good boyfriend and dad so it never clicked

what he did came as such a shock as it was no signs and completely ot uof the blue

i also put it down to me being a alpha female type so i was/always been "in charge so to speak"

with in a week my long long list of tasks that ive put off for months, years some tasks were done

i was either in to busy with careering -educating and its not a priority or doesn't even enter my head as a priority as i have so so much on my plate, being made a lone parent-carer as dad hasn't seen kids since and recovering from the breakdown alone months go past and it doesn't get done

ive cleaned my garden up(it was very bad)painted all the garden walls, put up 3 double cloth wardrobes that's been in the box since early jan

painted my bathroom, cleared out the home ed room, my youngest is 12 would be y7 and there's stuff in there that hes had from 5-reception age sorted out old clothes,(i lost 3 stone because of stress)

ive been trying to learn to drive since august 22 and on the lesson i get it at the time but say a month later if that subject is brought up again i dont remember doing it and have to re learn

my instructor asked me a few weeks a go what's changed as hes noticed a difference in concentration with in 2 lessons

i couldn't believe the difference these herbal tablets have made

i have googled the herbal alternative to ritalin but as i don't have the H part of ADHD i went with these tablets recommendation

@BOYBANDLOVER what tablets are they. ?
I was diagnosed privately , decided against medication but my ADHD paralysis is getting worse.

@BOYBANDLOVER Jesus christ your health care provider is dreadful write to pals. Not working does not mean your not affected I'm a sahm and unpaid carer for my disabled middle child for the last 3 years with out my medication I can't provide the best care for my child, I'd forget appointments, med times, Routines etc hell I'd be so busy taking care of my child's needs I'd get to bedtime and realise I'd not eaten or brushed my teeth. I can't believe they are being so dismissive. The nhs is meant to have the same basic standards all over the UK I don't understand why your gp isn't willing to work with your provider unless it's not a reputable place? I checked with my gp which ones would be accepted . I was also late diagnosed at age 35 but when I obtained my medical records from my gp for my evidence I'd been seeking help for my symptoms since the age of 15 and previous to that my mum had been seeking help for me as a child even paying out for a private asd assessment which I don't have she actually said she just thought I was a bit naughty!