Screeching Work Colleage

[TullamoreDew]

I work in a lovely office with really nice colleagues, doing an interesting job for a cracking boss. All nice, gentle atmosphere..

But…

There is one woman, a 20 something, young wife and mum to an almost 2 year old who is raising my stress levels to 11.

She is just so loud. Excruciatingly loud. She works 6am to 3pm, the morning is her busiest so she is quiet as she gets through the worst part of the slog, and I understand that she is excellent at her work. But come the afternoon she starts screaming, shouting, singing. Rather like an excited three year old at a party.

She has a quite senior position and a very responsible portfolio, dealing with sensitive and challenging situations. Feedback from her manager is excellent. I don’t think she has any issues, I don’t know how to word this sensitively, but she comes across as a normal intelligent person. Until about 2pm and then she starts making loud screeching noises, usually as a reaction to something on an email or after she has put the phone down.

She screams at people as they walk past her desk, calls them silly nicknames in a loud high pitched little old lady voice. Exactly like an overstimulated child high on blue smarties and cola.

My reaction is visceral. It rockets my stress up to the roof. I find it hard to focus. I’ve tried wearing ear pods but her cackling and screeching cuts right through. I feel panicky and close to tears after it has gone on for while.

I have asked a couple of others how they feel about it and apart from one who feels the same as me, everyone else seems to be able to blank her out. Her line manager sits very close to her and doesn’t seem bothered at all.

I presume it might be a result of parenting a young child, disturbed sleep, early starts, I don’t know but it’s awful. Really awful.

That sounds like a nightmare. I would be the same OP but I’d just have a word and tell her how I felt.

This sounds just like someone new into our team. It's actually driving me mad! Yet, if she needs to concentrate everyone else has to be very quiet. But she slams doors etc not caring that others are working. And the ott shrieking and singing is making working life unbearable. She has zero self awareness.

Op I have no words of wisdom, just lots of sympathy.

If no one else has noticed could it be that you have an issue? Being close to tears etc does sound like your sensitivity is higher than others. Maybe you need to wear earplugs or move desks etc.

Or maybe she should use her Inside Voice?

This is not normal or professional office behaviour

If no one else sees it as an issue maybe she is not especially loud.

Open plan offices are utterly shit, aren't they. They seem to be making them worse and worse at the moment removing any remaining soft furnishing that could act as some kind of sound-proofing.

As she is more senior than you (as I understand it) then you need to talk to your manager and get the issue escalated in my opinion. Make it about noise levels in the office in the afternoon being too high to concentrate and be productive rather than initially finger pointing.

No I wouldn’t. I have reasonable adjustments to help me and do have self awareness so I am conscious of keeping a lid on it as best l can. This lady may not know she’s being annoying and yes, she needs to understand how her behaviour can impact others. All I was saying is don’t be so quick to dismiss the fact she may have neurodivergence.

She might. It’s always something to consider. I just get fed up with people immediately jumping to that as soon as they read a thread where someone is being irritating/annoying/unusual. Not meaning to be dismissive but perhaps got too defensive!

Some peopele are jsut very annoying (sounds like she is one), some people are quite sensitive to things (perhaps you are). These two things combined aren't great.

It sounds like her behaviour is normal, albeit irretating. You should consider that in whether you complain about her. What do others think of her behaviour?

I used to work next to someone who spent the first - literal - 5 minutes of every single phone call he had (he had many) telling the person on the other end how busy he was. I would have to listen the same "busy" moan 15+ times a day. It was obviously his coversation starter, but it developed into a HUGE annoyance for me, almost a physical reaction once he started.

I am actually the more senior, not that it matters. Her line manager and me are same level. They have a very close ( 🤔 too close perhaps) relationship. I don’t think they have overstepped any lines but I don’t feel he can view her as objectively as he can the others.

My workload is huge, and many of my tasks are complicated, require utmost focus and concentration. The shrieking disrupts my thought processes and I sometimes have to take longer to complete a piece of work. I have to check and double check everything when the screeching starts. This is what causes me such anxiety and winds me up, especially when I spot any stupid errors. Maybe I am blaming her for causing my own inadequacies.

She is actually a lovely person and when she is calm, very professional, helpful and conscientious.

Thank you for your input. You have given me food for thought.

attention seeker :)
pat her on the shoulder and reassure her she is doing fine and we are all in the same boat

Screaming in a high pitched little old lady voice… 😡

Have you tried saying ‘Jeez, Arabella, can you keep it down please? I can’t think if you are making that noise. Thanks!’

I wonder if you are neurodiverse / very sensitive to noise? I have ADHD the inattentive type and cannot cope at all with noise when I am working . I would feel like crying , have to leave the room if this happened.

I also have a senior role .

I'm not sure what that sounds like.

Tbh OP I have hyperacusis so sound can really get to me. If it's distracting you from your work hopefully you can talk to her or her manager.

I have a colleague like this,senior role but behaves like an annoying loud child from time to time and sits behind me.

I'm generally sensitive to noise but I've definitely seen other colleagues side eyeing.

That would enrage me. Loud, piercing bursts of pointless noise elicit fury, especially when caused by an adult who apparently is fully capable of keeping to a reasonable volume at other times.

I'd raise it with her manager. If you think he's unlikely to do anything about it, I'd consider jumping, gasping, etc. when she startles you, then say something about how startling that was and how loud, sudden noises go right through you and break your concentration. I'd feel stupid doing it, but she needs to be made aware that her noises are having a negative effect. (Someone will be along shortly to say that you can't do that for legal reasons, I imagine...)

I think we have the same colleague. Our one gets all of her social interaction through work. She has no inside voice. She starts the day shouting and after lunch she is literally screeching and whooping. She's a nice person but the noise has given me headaches and anxiety.
I use Loop earplugs to turn it down a bit. We are wfh 2 or 3 days a week and that reduces exposure- is that something you could ask for? I would also ask to move seats.

I think your options are:

1. See if you can surreptiously move away from her.
2. Speak to her line manager and raise the unprofessional and distracting behaviour.
3. Speak up for yourself to her openly - "excuse me please can you keep your noise down I am trying to concentrate"
4. Speak to her privately " "are you aware that for the last hour of every day you make a lot of noise and it's really distracting. I appreciate you may be winding down but I still have x hours to go and it makes it diffulicult to concentrate"
5. Don't do anything and one day flip out "shut the fuck up you noisy cow" and throw a keyboard at her.

Good luck she sounds v annoying.

Is she worse than youtubes brianna? From Preston and brianna my sons obsessed with them she is ANNOYING

@olympicsrock
I don’t believe I am neurodivergent. But my mother never had me tested…

I'd ask her who is the loudest at home, her or her toddler.

I'd go for option 5 but to avoid arrest for assault, contact your HR dept if the manager is useless.

Oh god, this sounds horrendous.

Can you put earphones in with some quiet music to drown her out when you’re working? Her manager should have a quiet word with her too.

In all fairness, this sounds exactly like my ADHD child as she will hyper fixate on what needs to be done and then starts screeching but she is a child and I am eternally optimistic that she will outgrow the screeching…