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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Housing association home

59 replies

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:24

I live in a key worker home. It’s a two bed flat. It’s £500 a month. To live in one of these homes
there are some set rules.
You have to be a British citizen
Earn between 21,000-45,000 a year before tax
Have no more than 3 people living there

My Husband came to the U.K. on a spousal visa using my parents address as his address for the application. But chose to live with a friend in a one bed flat as it did not work out is living with my parents. Just not enough space.

I moved with my Son into the two bed apartment with key worker accommodation. We simply couldn’t afford private rental and still can’t so the only option was this. My Husband stays over a lot anyway (but we follow the rules of less than 4 nights a week).

We have since found out that he was entitled to live with me. He just wasn’t allowed on the tenancy agreement. So we were given incorrect information. He wasnt working at the time so there would have been no issues had we not been given incorrect information. We immediately contacted the housing association to ask if he could move in with me.
They said that’s fine as long as his income and mine combined is less than £45,000 a year. Otherwise he can’t move in.
No issue as he doesn’t work at the moment. Doesn’t matter if there’s a job offer. They assess on circumstances right now.

But we have one issue. He has only been in the country one month so has to wait two months before he can submit his bank statements.
He has been offered a job with the NHS and this starts on 22nd June with first payment around 22nd July. Maybe he could delay the start date?
It is only minimum wage as he is an oversees doctor not qualified to work in the U.K. and just wanted to support his family and get known to the hospital for when he does qualify in a couple years following the international exams.
I earn £26,000 a year so with his income and mine would be over the threshold but we aren’t as I will be going on maternity leave in August and will go down to SMP so overall we meet the income threshold.
issue is if we tell the housing association we actually do meet the income threshold we would need to tell them I’m pregnant and then they still won’t let my Husband in as we will be over the number of people allowed in the property (if you’re approved and then have a baby they won’t chuck you out). According to tenancy agreement they only need to be told once a baby is born.

The 45,000 a year income threshold no longer meets its purpose as that’s just minimum wage for two people. Not enough to rent privately in our area. You’d not even be approved. What this has led to is a huge number of people on the estate just not declaring their partner living with them but we wouldn’t lie like this.

It’s a two bed flat so it’s odd there’s a three person limit. It’s more than suitable for two children and two adults.

Has anyone got any advice?

what should we do?

With me going on maternity leave we cannot afford to leave this property. I also won’t be returning following maternity leave. So we will be earning just minimum wage.
should we just not move him in?
It just makes me sad that he won’t be living with us.
And before anyone judges us for getting pregnant in this situation. I got pregnant when we were living with parents (on honeymoon technically but that was our address). And we didn’t expect to not be able to stay living with my parents until it just stopped working and I had to move out.

OP posts:
SunnySaturdayMorning · 03/06/2023 09:29

Even living with your parents, you got pregnant in an unstable situation where he employed and you didn’t have a home of your own. That isn’t sustainable for a child either.

A two bedroom flat is not “more than suitable” for two adults and two children.

But no, you shouldn’t just let him move in. You need to find an arrangement where you have enough room for everyone and your situation is stable enough for your children.

Nordicrain · 03/06/2023 09:31

So bascailly you want to cheat the system.

Sorry OP, I am not full of sympathy for you. i guess your options are to not move him in so you continue qualifying OR find somewhere else to live.

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:32

SunnySaturdayMorning · 03/06/2023 09:29

Even living with your parents, you got pregnant in an unstable situation where he employed and you didn’t have a home of your own. That isn’t sustainable for a child either.

A two bedroom flat is not “more than suitable” for two adults and two children.

But no, you shouldn’t just let him move in. You need to find an arrangement where you have enough room for everyone and your situation is stable enough for your children.

Living with parents is common in my culture and usually provides a very settled and stable environment.
They own their own home and had enough bedrooms.

By almost everyone’s standard a two bed flat is fine for two children and their parents to live. It’s legally classed as fine until one child reaches 10 and of a different gender (not our situation).

OP posts:
BeverlyHa · 03/06/2023 09:35

You do what you have to do, this is your husband. Contact the housing association again and be honest. You won't be made homeless.

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:36

Nordicrain · 03/06/2023 09:31

So bascailly you want to cheat the system.

Sorry OP, I am not full of sympathy for you. i guess your options are to not move him in so you continue qualifying OR find somewhere else to live.

A few people have said that if you speak to them they’re happy to accept two children and a couple living there.
That the 3 person rule is more for adults (although it does include children officially).
Seems so risky though.
Worst case scenario we’d delay his start date to enable him to move in. We’d not just not move him in. But we’d rather avoid doing that.

OP posts:
Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:37

BeverlyHa · 03/06/2023 09:35

You do what you have to do, this is your husband. Contact the housing association again and be honest. You won't be made homeless.

Thank you. Everyone is saying the same.
I am just so worried.
😢

OP posts:
Testina · 03/06/2023 09:38

“but we aren’t as I will be going on maternity leave in August “

So you attempted to work the system and got the timing wrong? 🎻

He just needs to start work, then as you will - as a couple - earn too much for the subsidised housing then it’s happy days:

  • you’ll earn enough together to pay non-subsidised housing and can live together with your new baby and older child
  • the house is free for someone who needs it

Perfect!

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:40

Testina · 03/06/2023 09:38

“but we aren’t as I will be going on maternity leave in August “

So you attempted to work the system and got the timing wrong? 🎻

He just needs to start work, then as you will - as a couple - earn too much for the subsidised housing then it’s happy days:

  • you’ll earn enough together to pay non-subsidised housing and can live together with your new baby and older child
  • the house is free for someone who needs it

Perfect!

We won’t as I will be on maternity leave and wouldn’t earn enough to rent privately.

OP posts:
cantcopenow · 03/06/2023 09:40

I’m going to get slaughtered for this but based on what you’ve said I would do whatever you need to to make it work. You would be complying with the spirit of the rule, though not the letter.

When I started reading I thought your problem was that your DH isn’t a British citizen, and I was going to say of course he’s still allowed to live there with you! Otherwise no British key workers with foreign partners could live in that accommodation, which is ridiculous and clearly discriminatory.

There is a housing crisis and you are a victim of it, not part of the problem. Just my two cents. Unless you’re withholding information of course!

Testina · 03/06/2023 09:43

“And before anyone judges us for getting pregnant in this situation. I got pregnant when we were living with parents (on honeymoon technically but that was our address). And we didn’t expect to not be able to stay living with my parents until it just stopped working and I had to move out.”

It doesn’t matter whether in your culture it’s common to live with parents or whether they had enough room. Every culture knows that multi generational living can have its stresses. You weren’t all living together happily for a couple of years then it unexpectedly went pear shaped. He came over on a spousal visa and you got pregnant on honeymoon - that means you hadn’t even TRIED to see how all living together went.

I’d have more respect for you if you just said, “well that was a fuck up, trying for a baby immediately” than coming out with nonsense pretending it wasn’t a bad decision.

Sunshineandrainbow · 03/06/2023 09:46

Is exchanging with someone with less tennancy rules an option?

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:47

cantcopenow · 03/06/2023 09:40

I’m going to get slaughtered for this but based on what you’ve said I would do whatever you need to to make it work. You would be complying with the spirit of the rule, though not the letter.

When I started reading I thought your problem was that your DH isn’t a British citizen, and I was going to say of course he’s still allowed to live there with you! Otherwise no British key workers with foreign partners could live in that accommodation, which is ridiculous and clearly discriminatory.

There is a housing crisis and you are a victim of it, not part of the problem. Just my two cents. Unless you’re withholding information of course!

Nope not withholding info.
Infact if the housing association hadn’t given us incorrect information in the first place he’d already be in as he wasn’t working at the time.
I think we will simply push back the date he starts work so that at the time of applying we meet the income threshold.
The solution is simple now. Sometimes you don’t think of it until you type the problem out.
we will meet the income threshold by August anyway.
And the rule about three people is ridiculous when it doesn’t differentiate between children and two adults like their general social housing does. So we’ve no time for that.

I accidentally posted this on AIBU it’s not an AIBU. So I’m now prepared for the angry comments 😂

but thanks for your reply.

OP posts:
Testina · 03/06/2023 09:50

“I also won’t be returning following maternity leave”

So another point where you’ve worked the system - taking a subsidy to support much needed key workers, with no intention of remaining a key worker. So that’s an actual key worker who won’t be able to get this housing because you’ve blocked it.

Of course you’re going to tell me that your new husband is a key worker…

In which case, why don’t you quit work and he can apply as a key worker with a joint income under threshold?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you for working the system, I’d do exactly the same thing. I wouldn’t cheat, but I’d work it. Just don’t make excuses for the poor decision making!

Silvergoldandglitter · 03/06/2023 09:50

Why are you not returning to work after maternity leave if you can't afford somewhere to live? Sounds like you need to be working to pay for accommodation. This is madness.

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:52

Testina · 03/06/2023 09:43

“And before anyone judges us for getting pregnant in this situation. I got pregnant when we were living with parents (on honeymoon technically but that was our address). And we didn’t expect to not be able to stay living with my parents until it just stopped working and I had to move out.”

It doesn’t matter whether in your culture it’s common to live with parents or whether they had enough room. Every culture knows that multi generational living can have its stresses. You weren’t all living together happily for a couple of years then it unexpectedly went pear shaped. He came over on a spousal visa and you got pregnant on honeymoon - that means you hadn’t even TRIED to see how all living together went.

I’d have more respect for you if you just said, “well that was a fuck up, trying for a baby immediately” than coming out with nonsense pretending it wasn’t a bad decision.

Thing is anyone living in private rental can be given notice to leave with little notice. Unless they’re very comfortable they may then end up homeless due to not finding anything else. Thousands are in temporary accommodation. So that’s even more unstable than living with extended family.
should no one in private rental ever have children due to their unstable housing situation?
when you start judging these things it’s where it ends for me.
We COULD go back to living with parents but we really don’t want to. But we always knew whatever happened our children won’t be homeless.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/06/2023 09:53

Husband is a Doctor so yes , Key Worker

Testina · 03/06/2023 09:55

Silvergoldandglitter · 03/06/2023 09:50

Why are you not returning to work after maternity leave if you can't afford somewhere to live? Sounds like you need to be working to pay for accommodation. This is madness.

She needs to be working for them to afford private rental.
For subsidised rental for key workers, they only need one income.
So she’s cleverly got the subsidy for key workers a couple of months before she intends to jack in being a key worker.
Having thus worked the system, I find it amusing that OP is presenting herself in rather holier than thou light of not wanting to break the rules whilst pointing out that her neighbours do 🤣
You’re all at it!

Axalot · 03/06/2023 09:59

Testina · 03/06/2023 09:55

She needs to be working for them to afford private rental.
For subsidised rental for key workers, they only need one income.
So she’s cleverly got the subsidy for key workers a couple of months before she intends to jack in being a key worker.
Having thus worked the system, I find it amusing that OP is presenting herself in rather holier than thou light of not wanting to break the rules whilst pointing out that her neighbours do 🤣
You’re all at it!

Husband counts as a key worker too even though he’s studying international exams.
I also count as a key worker for my entire maternity until August 2024.
But once offered a tenancy you can remain even if not a key worker.

OP posts:
Axalot · 03/06/2023 10:02

Silvergoldandglitter · 03/06/2023 09:50

Why are you not returning to work after maternity leave if you can't afford somewhere to live? Sounds like you need to be working to pay for accommodation. This is madness.

We can afford it if we are living in this accommodation or with family. In two years Husband will earn enough to support us all comfortably.
I have medical issues. I know i’d not manage a baby and working.

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 03/06/2023 10:02

Husband is a Doctor so yes , Key Worker

Husband is a doctor but not able to work as one here for a few years until he's passed exams here. His job is for NHS but not as a doctor and on NMW so who knows if he's a key worker or not. Regardless, that's not why OP qualified for the flat and it's pretty clear she's tried to time this so she only just qualified then ceases to because a) they'll earn too much and b) she'll be leaving her key worker job. Maybe if one of her loopholes works out, she'll swing it, but it's keeping a key worker home from someone who genuinely qualifies for it. Which is in-keeping with the other unwise decisions that have left her living apart from her husband and having more DC without getting home/jobs sorted. Odd to think that living with DH trumps all other rules when it hasn't mattered all that much up until this point and he chose to live with a friend rather than OP and DC even when that was an option.

sashh · 03/06/2023 10:03

It’s a two bed flat so it’s odd there’s a three person limit. It’s more than suitable for two children and two adults.

Check this, children are often counted as a half, hence a property for 2 adults and 2 children or three adults. It's a number used to determine if you are 'overcrowded' it means that when your eldest reaches 10 then you are 'overcrowded' and can apply for a bigger council or HA property.

Also check out human rights legislation, you have a right to a private life.

cantcopenow · 03/06/2023 10:03

In which case, why don’t you quit work and he can apply as a key worker with a joint income under threshold?

Because he’s not British so wouldn’t be eligible on his own.

Babyroobs · 03/06/2023 10:03

Have you been claiming any benefits as a single person whilst her has been living here and staying over 4 nights a week ? by the way there is no four night rule.

Hannahsbananas · 03/06/2023 10:04

Living with parents is common in my culture and usually provides a very settled and stable environment.
They own their own home and had enough bedrooms.

Yet you’re not living there yourself?
Why not?

BungleandGeorge · 03/06/2023 10:06

Your husband doesn’t meet the criteria because he’s not a British citizen (or the income requirement?). You won’t meet the criteria because you won’t have an income? Presumably the plan is to claim UC after you leave work and have a subsidised rent in the keyworker property. can you claim UC if your husband is not British? UC contributes toward rent so you could find a suitable private rental?
I do think key worker homes are there for a reason and should be taken by people who are bona fide key workers and not just manipulating things so they can have subsidised rent

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