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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have called sick for work ???

32 replies

soriasis · 03/06/2023 00:47

Just looking for some outside opinions on this as I’m too involved and can’t decide if I’m unreasonable or not to have taken off sick days

i took off several sick days off work. I have psoriasis and usually it’s on areas of my skin that nobody can see as I dress to cover it, although some of my colleagues are aware I have the condition anyway. I don’t just mean a bit of dry skin- I mean full blown psoriasis and I’m under dermatology for it. i had a huge flare up on my face- I have never been so uncomfortable in all my life. It was all around my neck, chin, mouth and lip area and around my eye lid and forehead. It was also on my hands. I couldn’t talk properly (I could talk but it was uncomfortable and the skin burst open and bled if I talked), eating was painful because if I moved my face the skin would burst and crack, same with moving my hands and fingers. Everything was doable but a massive struggle and extremely painful and bloody. I called sick for work for this

but I’ve never called sick for my psoriasis before and I’m a bit stressed about it now. I have a separate condition which is serious and I didn’t want my colleagues to think I was unwell with that, so when my colleagues that I’m close friends with asked if I was ok I just explained I had a bad psoriasis flare up on my face and hands. They were really understanding and wished me well but in general lunchtime chit chat they must have mentioned to others that’s why I was off because now everyone knows. And apparently they’re annoyed that I took time off because I was embarrassed about my face and how it looked and apparently I should have just slapped some moisturiser on it and apparently I’m unreasonable for taking time off, let alone several days, for psoriasis

was I being unreasonable for this? I suppose embarrassment did come into it slightly as I was mortified at how my face looked. But I mainly took time off because of how painful and uncomfortable it was. But technically I could have done my job, albeit uncomfortably, and it’s not like I had a headache or sickness bug where I was completely unable to do it

please tell me honestly (so I can prepare myself for the honest opinions of others when I return to work!) was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
pollpp · 03/06/2023 00:49

YANBU.

They're ignorant idiots.

Itsjeremycorbynsfault · 03/06/2023 00:55

Definitely not unreasonable by the sounds of it !

Notimeforaname · 03/06/2023 00:56

No! You are in pain with cracked and bleeding skin,stopping you from eating and talking comfortably!!! It's not just for aesthetics. They clearly weren't told the other parts if it.

Lizzt2007 · 03/06/2023 00:58

No you weren't. Your psoriasis was severe enough that you couldn't talk properly and it would crack and bleed, you'd have ended up spending half your day in the medical room as blood is a biological hazard! They quite obviously have no idea what psoriasis actually is and how severe it can be. They probably think it's just some scabby skin condition, certainly that's been my experience.

Ponderingwindow · 03/06/2023 01:03

I’ve had surgical recoveries and broken bones that were easier to work through than my allergic eczema flares. All I can think about is the pain, itching, and how nice it would feel to flay my skin off with a nice sharp knife.

People think it’s a little rash and don’t understand the reality.

if you are sick, you are sick. You won’t be sleeping well and you won’t be able to concentrate. Stress can also make the problem worse so pushing through isn’t going to help you get better.

don’t wallow and do not hide, but don’t feel guilty for taking time to rest if you need it.

thespy · 03/06/2023 01:06

I'd like to see them in work if their faces cracked open and bled when they moved or ate.Sad. No, round your eyes and mouth it's too much - I doubt they realise how horrible / painful this is to deal with. It's not just a bit of dry skin ffs. Your colleagues are twunts, it's none of their business and they shouldn't be gossiping about you.

Biscuitandacuppa · 03/06/2023 01:10

I doubt they have any idea how painful psoriasis actually is and are thinking it was a mild rash. Do not feel guilty for being off it sounds dreadful, you absolutely did the right thing and actually it is none of their business why you were off or their right to judge you.

Pencilsaremylife · 03/06/2023 01:17

Hopefully it’s just coming from a place of ignorance rather than just nastiness.
Sick leave is not meant to be only used when you can’t physically do your job though, I imagine you could physically do your job in between dashing to the loo with a bug but it wouldn’t be sensible. What about someone needing time off with mental health issues, would they think they should buck themselves up a bit and just get on with the job?

Growlybear83 · 03/06/2023 01:18

I don't think you were being unreasonable at all to take time off for a flare up like that. I suspect that your colleagues at work don't really understand just how severe psoriasis can be and possibly think of it more as an itchy rash rather than something as serious as you've experienced.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 03/06/2023 01:22

YANBU...I bet no one cares though

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 03/06/2023 01:28

No way were you being unreasonable!!! You poor thing. It sounds bloody awful.

I'm sure anyone would be understanding of this and if they weren't, they're utter twats.

intothegreek · 03/06/2023 01:39

I'm an absolute Trojan when it comes to going into work, I turn up sick, dying or nearly dead. I don't believe however that you are in any way taking the piss and I do believe your colleagues are arseholes. Do take this as a lesson to keep tight lipped in future about why you're off. People will be off for far less but feel entitled to comment on your situation as if they're part of it. I hope this resolves for you soon as it sounds like a terrible flare up. That's what sick leave is for, give it no more thought.

BlackeyedSusan · 03/06/2023 01:53

I was thinking unreasonable, unreasonable, fucking hell, not at all unreasonable. You can't go to work cracked and bleeding all over the place anyway nevermind the pain/discomfort.

(I'm currently covered in psoriasis and it's sore and fucking itchy but thankfully not really on hands and face.

Ihatepickingausername3 · 03/06/2023 01:57

In no way are you unreasonable here!

BlackeyedSusan · 03/06/2023 01:58

I think the problem is it's one of those conditions that varies in severity, people may know of the lower to middling end of the spectrum which isn't as limiting and assume you are like their aunty's nextdoor neighbour's carer who has it mildly and still works 25 hours a day and gets up an hour before they went to bed...

WineIsMyMainVice · 03/06/2023 02:01

YANBU at all for taking time off.
But you should also be having a word with your colleagues about the confidentiality of your reasons for absence!! That should not be canteen chit chat!!

OurChristmasMiracle · 03/06/2023 02:02

You can do your job with a headache or a cold or a flu for most people and that would be perfectly acceptable to take time off so no YANBU to take time off when in considerable pain and with cracking skin.

I don’t have a skin condition but I am currently out of my usual area with a baby constantly washing my hands in hard water and they have dried and cracked on a number of occasions and it is very painful even something as simple as washing my hands or closing my hand is causing cracking and bleeding so I can only imagine how awfully painful it is on my neck and face.

I hope you are better now.

Summer2424 · 03/06/2023 02:03

Hi @soriasis omg YANBU xx

Justlovedogs · 03/06/2023 02:10

pollpp · 03/06/2023 00:49

YANBU.

They're ignorant idiots.

This, 100%

Aslanplustwo · 03/06/2023 02:42

YANBU - just ignore the people at work, I agree with previous comments, your colleagues are ignorant. At my work I am pretty sure I would be told not to come in until I felt better.

Overthebow · 03/06/2023 03:00

Op it’s fine. I don’t take many sick days at all (last non-pregnancy related was over 5 years ago), and I would have taken sick days for this. You’re skin was bleeding when you talked, you couldn’t go in like that.

Original poster
soriasis · 03/06/2023 22:03

Thanks for the opinions, glad I wasn’t being UR.

my main reason for staying off was that it was so painful and kept bleeding, but I suppose the awful look of it was embarrassing for me too and after hearing about what people at work were saying I started to question it that was my real reason for staying off even though I know I was in pain and bleeding

i absolutely despise psoriasis!

OP posts:
nokidshere · 04/06/2023 16:02

@soriasis

As a pp said you need to speak to work about confidentiality.

Of course you aren't unreasonable. I've had psoriasis for over 60yrs now and it covers about 80% of my body including my fave. It's shit, both physically and emotionally, and having time off Is what you need sometimes. With extensive in patient stays and time at home unable to do anything I think I probably had about a third of my working life of sick.

Ignore (easy to say I know) anyone who has comments to make about it because they are ignorant and uneducated. Hope you get so,e relief soon.

Vitriolinsanity · 04/06/2023 16:30

Well the big problem here is your tittle tattle colleague who could have not spoken at all or, having done so, relayed the situation accurately and shut down gossips.

This kind of behaviour drives me absolutely loopy as it simply creates a nasty, spiteful, unsympathetic work culture.

TwoPointFourCatsAndDogs · 04/06/2023 16:50

Have you enquired about Acitretin?

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