A family we are good friends with have a DD the same age as our DD, both 4. We see this family fairly frequently because we are close family friends going back years. They are good parents and do discipline their daughter but I'm worried that her behaviour has turned into bullying towards our DD.
She will frequently say to our DD that she doesn't like her and our DD will cry. She will try to exclude her from certain activities. She is quite violent - this is where I don't know if this is all part of a four year olds development or if it's out of the normal range. Every time we see her she will try to throw an object at another child, she will grab with an intention to hurt, spit at another child - often waiting for the parents to be distracted then doing something hurtful as soon as she sees the opportunity. Outside of these events they are playing and saying they are friends but I'm worried this is not a healthy relationship for my child.
Her parents then discipline and follow through on repercussions but it happens all the time. They are at the same nursery and going to the same school - the nursery have expressed some concern about the behaviour but only in passing mentions. I'm concerned because I can't reduce the contact and I'm worried for my daughter. Is this normal friendship rough and tumble and is a four year old likely to grow out of this?