Child on playdate teaching my kids racist language

[Rainyrunway]

So my kids - white (ish) I mean technically not white exactly because I'm mixed race but they look white, dad is white etc. have a friend over for a playdate. Friend is mixed race. Kids are aged 8. Just heard my kid say "that's a weird word. Sounds like nuggets" friend said "if a white person says it, it's bad but it's fine for me to say it"
I heard this and asked them all not to use that sort of language. Said it's a nasty word and I don't want to hear it again. To freind that maybe he's allowed to say it at home but I don't like it and don't want to hear it again. But I'm shocked. It's not a word I even want my kids to have in their vocab. Should I mention it to the kids mum when she collects him?

I mean I guess this is the sort of chat they could be having on the playground anyway for all I know.

And also just to add friend is a nice kid. It's not like he was trying to teach them something to BE racist as far as I could tell.

I’d definitely mention it to the Mum, but in a light hearted way to avoid her getting defensive.

Kids, ime, often love a “bad word” and the cachet it gives them with peers.

The more fuss you make, the more the kids will want to say it. However, in this case, you clearly can’t have your DCs going round saying the n word so I think what you said was perfect.

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I would say something to the mum. I don’t think it’s acceptable for anyone to say the word.

I mean, the kids was right. White people cannot and should not say it. If his family are comfortable using the word to reclaim it, its up to them. It sounds like its something he has been taught at home anyway if hes advising your DC about not using it.

We’ve had this conversation in advance with DS1 (autistic) as lots of the black British teens at his likely secondary school (where DH teaches) have reclaimed the word and that’s fine but DS1 has had to be prepped in advance that he (white) cannot and must not copy it! Fine and dandy but what a minefield.