My sister has many narcissistic tendencies and enjoys putting me and DH down. In recent years I don’t know what’s got into her, she’s become a bully and someone who i don’t recognise, clearly she’s not very well. She is excellent at DARVO and has everyone convinced that she is the victim of her disinterested sister not wanting anything to do with her, that I am jealous of her life, that I take everything she does and says so personally when there is no offence meant. It’s a constant stream of gaslighting and push pull from her.
She had a baby six months ago who I have met three times, DH only once. I enjoy a close relationship with my aunties and uncles growing up on both sides of the family and feel sad at the idea that I am not going to be that same auntie, for the babys sake. I will do excellent birthday and Christmas presents, but for us to play a role in their lives means frequently putting ourselves in the arena to be treated not very nicely by my sister. Of course to be a recognisable figure by them youve got to see them often throughout early childhood otherwise they will forgot who you are, its a sad idea that this would happen but selfishly I would rather not subject me and my family to feeling intimidated and uncomfortable just for the sake of being auntie/uncle
AIBU to not go out my way to get to know them?