To just give up on the housework.

[Bigglebiggle]

It's just constant.

House is generally shabby looking and gets dusty quickly, and never seems to be clean.

I do a big clean in a weekend, tidy, dust, hoover, clean banisters, mop, bathrooms, then 2 days later it looks like it hasnt been touched, by the weekend I need to do a big clean all over again.

We try to keep on top of it every day but with a toddler and working it doesn't always get done. But even if it does get done, it still seems to be dirty and messy again by the weekend.

I want to spend time with the children on the weekend and not stuck cleaning, but the longer I put it off the worse it gets. If I leave it for one day it seems like there is twice as much to do the next day.

I give up

Who is 'we'?

YANBU
I’m basically at “just burn it down” stage myself.

Just leave it. At some point you'll think 'I can't stand it anymore' and start cleaning again. In the meantime, enjoy yourself.

Rule of the thumb: Kitchen & Bathroom regularly.
Rest as & when I have time!

It’s relentless isn’t it, coupled with the fear that if you don’t keep on top of it, it spirals out of control and becomes a ‘project’. My biggest anxiety is keeping on top of laundry 🧺

This is exactly it. I've left it when not been well for a few days, and then it's just a mammoth task

I hear you OP. It’s awful and drudgy.

I have found you get to a point where it doesn't seem to get any worse 😆

e.g. If I sweep or vacuum the floor every 2 days, and then don't do it for a week - well the quantity of dust/dirt is actually just the same. So I stopped doing it so often 😆

Can you afford a cleaner?!

Declutter as much as possible. Have set small hobs on a daily basis
1 load laundry per per day
daily wipe down of kitchen and bathroom
empty bins every second day
etc
if you know what the main jobs are break them down so you achieve a little each day. Keeping on top of laundry and hoovering make a big difference.

I have a cleaner once a week, but really I could do with her once a day. I could hoover 3 or 4 times a day and still the floor would have crumbs and hair on it. 5 girls in one house, there's hair everywhere. Glitter, paper, stickers. I do the bathrooms and kitchen every day, hoover every day, then each day I do one extra task- skirting boards, windows, wiping surfaces etc.

Do you have any help? Is the cleaning a shared job?

I would love love love a cleaner but unfortunately can't afford it. We are hopefully moving into a smaller new build at the end of the year, we're hoping to move into a new build, so fingers crossed will be easier and quicker to keep clean and tidy.
We do basics each day, wash up, clean surfaces, basic tidy it's the little things that get forgotten about and mount up, letter placed here, shoes put there, cup left on the side.

Yeah, DH does do generally tidy of downstairs daily but he's a bit of a half a job, will wash the plates from the dinner, wipe the sides etc, but wouldn't think to do the jobs out of this routine EG, put the shoes back on the rack, put the coat away, wash kids water bottles.

Avoid the "big clean" - work out what the jobs are and do 1 or 2 a day.

I also HIGHLY recommend reading 'How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind' by Dana K White. It absolutely changed my life.

it's the little things that get forgotten about and mount up, letter placed here, shoes put there, cup left on the side.

Never leave a room empty handed!!!

And google "The Organised Mum Method"

Honestly don't worry, life's too short! If I stay on top of the washing with 2 toddlers I'm winning!

https://www.rockthehousework.co.uk/

There's some free samples here, and also on Spotify on The Organised Mum Method from last spring (2022)

I don't stress over getting the house immaculate, but regularly doing timed podcasts do help keep on top/ reset the house so it's functionally pleasant.

The full contents of the vault cover a large range of tasks beyond TOMM, and well worth the £3.60 per month.

Seconding The Organised Mum Method, I recommend it to everyone. I don’t do the Friday Focuses but the daily routine and set rooms should work for you because as you said, your house is clean and tidy to start with after your weekend clean up. Helps keep the jobs down to little bite size daily tasks rather than one massive job hanging over you and you know over the course of the week, the whole house has been cleaned.

I used to stress myself out terribly keeping my house spotless and since I’ve stopped giving a fuck the happier I am I do the dishwasher every morning/night take out the rubbis change beds once a week unless needed clean the bathroom daily only takes 10 minutes max clean kitchen sides have a designated day I have a sort out I either do the kitchen cupboards date check or do the clothing on that specific day get carpets cleaned twice a year hire a painter once a year pay someone to clean oven 6 weekly £20 wellll worth it Chuck all shelf from fridge through the dishwasher every Friday morning sorted lol!

Never leave a room empty handed

I always hear this advice but it just doesn’t work in my house. It’s a converted Victorian flat so 3 floors. Top floor bedrooms, middle floor bathroom and spare room, ground floor semi open plan living room and kitchen. I’d say at least 75% of the time I am going up or down, I need the loo! So I don’t want/need stuff in my hand! I guess I could leave it outside the bathroom but that seems too much hassle!

I swing between wishing I could keep my house spotless and thinking fuck it I’m just going to do the important stuff. FWIW, I’m in my 50s and when I was younger and the DC were young children I was quite obsessed with cleaning and tidying. If I look back and think “did it make me happy?” I feel somewhat neutral about it. It didn’t make me unhappy but it didn’t improve my happiness either. I do think I probably spent too much time on it and for what really?

For me there’s 2 main important things, a clean loo and a clean kitchen for food prep. That doesn’t mean I always have my dishes done or whatever, but the work surfaces and things I need, need to be clean. Everything else I see as somewhat optional.

I no longer give a fig about housework...this is a bonus to becoming menopausal. Kitchen worktops get a scrub once a day, bog also. Everything else has to take its chance. Smeary glasses also helps

I'm with you OP. It really gets me down sometimes, I wonder how people with lots of kids keep on top of it. I usually have to do downstairs every night when my daughter is in bed, usually it's 10pm before I get started. There has been the odd night I've not done it and it's double of more the next night. It really is drudgery.

I try to do a big clean at the weekend but in all honestly my house just looks like I've done the bare minimum. It needs 2 hours a day just to keep it half decent.

it's the little things that get forgotten about and mount up, letter placed here, shoes put there, cup left on the side.

Get into the habit of putting stuff away immediately - don't just leave it on the side to deal with "later". Because by the time later comes, there's 15 things on the side and all of a sudden it's a big task that takes an hour and you CBA. So when you get home, shoes off and put away before you do anything else. When you finish a drink, cup goes straight in the sink/dishwasher. Letters get opened, read and either binned or sorted.

Honestly, I know it sounds patronising but it makes such a big difference. That and never leaving a room empty handed.

I second this. I went full time last year and was killing myself trying to keep it to the standard of when I had the time but now I upkeep these areas on the reg and everything else a bit here and there. And I try keep on top of the washing