To think that sleep is more important than gym in the morning?

[sofachick]

So to preface, I am not saying that working out isn’t important.

I share a 1 bedroom flat with dp. He has recently starting becoming gym mad again. We both work long hours in out jobs. He is often in the office 10-8. I’m often working from home until 10pm due to the time zones I work with. I can’t fall asleep until 11:30-12:00. I try and try but that’s just not my body clock. Dp falls asleep instantly. Usually by about 10:15.

DP insists that if he is going to work out, he has to go before work. The first alarm goes off at 05:30. Sometimes 6:30. He won’t get out of bed for an hour after that, as he likes to snooze and read the news.

But I’m now constantly absolutely knackered. I feel light headed during the day as I’ve had about 5-6 hours sleep for several days. I can’t concentrate on my work. But DP won’t budge and says he has to go in the morning or he won’t go. His only compromise is that he’s agreed to go to a closer gym which would cut out about 20 mins ‘commute’.

of course he’s being unreasonable. Every time he gets up early I would wake him up at 11.30 when you come to bed maybe with something noisy on the iPad.

honestly though, your job sounds rubbish - who wants to work until 10 every evening?

Hi OP,
Your partner is inconsiderate but your work/life balance of working until 10pm (when your partner is already falling asleep) doesn't sound good. Would you consider looking for a job with more sociable hours?

Is there any reasonable chance of upgrading your accommodation to a two bed? You could have the choice to sleep alone if you are exhausted and perhaps an office area for a nicer work from home experience.

In the short term you need to do something as living your life exhausted is horrible. Take a day or twos annual leave and rest/have early nights and tell your partner this lifestyle is not sustainable for you - talk about what you can both do. If your partner doesn't care about your exhaustion you have bigger issues to think about.

totally agree. poor sleep is bad for your health. My DH used to hit snooze about 4 times when we met- that had to stop! Ideally I’d like to sleep in separate rooms but I feel guilty about that. I slept in the spare room for a while for work reasons and those few weeks I felt bloody amazing. My husband and I are well matched except for our sleeping patterns.

Working until late won’t be helping either but it’s not like you can help that. You need that extra time in the morning.

This. He’s being unbelievably selfish thinking his hour of reading news is more important than you not having the torture of being permanently sleep deprived.
I’d be rethinking the entire relationship. His wants will always be greater than your needs.

Be glad you found this out now and get out.

When I was married, I used to get up at 5am to go to the gym and managed to never wake up my husband! Alarm on very quiet and switched off within a millisecond, work out clothes kept in bathroom, light not put on until the door was closed, trainers not put on until I was ready to leave the house. Its all about consideration and your DH doesn't seem to recognise that!

Snooze alarms are the fucking devil. Start waking him at 2am and poke him repeatedly for an hour, say you can’t not do it, it’s 2am flicking him in the shoulder for an hour finger gym time.